What Do Parents Do When Estranged From

What can parents truly do when their adults have estranged and why?

It’s not that I have all good days and am completely over it but, estrangement is much like a punishment to parents by their offspring.

I’ve spent my fair time in grieving over a lost child-turned adult. She’s clearly allowing herself to espouse the unnatural and unhealthy thinking that has infected so many people out there. Be it a drug, influencer, net related articles, because they can do so financially, a trend, a fad, or all of the aforementioned or other reasons, the reality is that children-turned adult are doing this type of thing at an alarming rate.

That is not the fault of the parents a good percentage of the time. How do I know this? I know this because there are those who have estranged themselves with no abuse or neglect having been done to them while those who have been truly abused and are of the same generations and been abused/neglected, are still around their parents.

Does that mean that those who have estranged for reasons other than abuse are calling those who stay around their parents in spite of abuse and whatever other reasons one can come up with, “stupid”? Yes and no. Part of that is because the ones who estrange themselves from family, former friends, pasts etc., are feeling somewhat smug about what they’ve done. They have rehearsed in their heads, their reasonings and really and truly don’t care about anyone else or if those who stay do so. However, they will try to convince others to estrange as well if they can because that’s how they deal with what they have written for themselves. It’s not being alone in what they’ve done that the estranged want if they have any concerns at all about others.

Sadly, a lot of estranged adults without true abuse by parents have or are working things up in their own minds so much that they have come to believe all of the garbage that they or someone else has done for them. It really doesn’t matter to them what anyone else thinks or feels because they’re only concerned about themselves. Yes, they will try to get others to see a way to estrange if they can do so but, in all honesty, they truly feel that they have been wronged by parents and others and therefore, will use that criteria or justifications to get what it is that they want.

Not many of them will even read this far into this piece and yet, they will be itching to scream out with “narcissist” or “controller” or even “toxic” at what is said here. Why? Could it be because they, themselves are about as narcissistic as well as attempted control and toxic to others as they come? In other words, they are projecting what it is that they feel onto others so as not to take any accountability for much, if anything at all. It’s up to you to answer that question for yourselves.

Can a parent reverse that process in their estranged adult and bring them back?

The answer to that is going to vary greatly but in generality, one can come to the conclusion that one can lead a horse to water but, they cannot make them drink.

Unless an estranged adult wants to see things as they really were or are and not some fabricated set of gripes or criteria, there’s not anything that a parent truly can do. If one has reached out and tried both lovingly and harshly with realities, then there is nothing left for parents to do or say. That horse isn’t going to drink water no matter how much coaxing one were to do. As a matter of fact, it will only make them back up from that water hole more and become more stubborn.

My Estranged Adult wants me to change but, I can’t see how

In all focus, it’s not the parent generally that needs to change if there’s been no abuse. It’s the idea that the adult child needs to recognize that their influencers aren’t right nor, will the necessarily be there for them forever. It’s also the idea that a lot of adult children who have estranged themselves are under the misguided and incorrect idea that they 1) didn’t ask to be born, 2) parents OWE them or they owe parents nothing because they were born, 3) giving parents that they’ve estranged from a text message on holidays mean nothing to the parent(s), 4) after having walked away from family and even possibly friends, there’s something for them to change, not their parents, 5) most drugs of any kind, bring about hallucinations, not “facts” as influencers want them to believe or the drugs themselves affect their thinking to believe, 6) their influencers are lying to them and cannot or will not keep up their pleasing ways to keep them around or sell them a line of bull until the next time that there are complaints or it’s needed 7) most influencers have their own agendas, reasons and ulterior motives. There are influencers somewhere behind this act of estrangement whether parents want to believe it or not. Enablers come in different forms.

I’ve reached out to my estranged child/children only to be met with hostility…what do I do now?

If you’re like most parents of estranged adults, you’ve done the circuit of trials. You’ve done the “I love you’s” and perhaps, even gotten them in return. You’ve told them that your door is always open to them as therapists have advised with little to no training behind them and even well-meaning but, doing the opposite to what is hoped for as it’s an easy way to get off the topic while still believing the old societal, “uh boy…you must have done something wrong” ideas. Parents are therefore left with the idea that the way to go is to blame self, listen to their adults who have estranged and turn themselves inside out like a set of sweaters to suit their moods or temperatures while doing, doing and doing some more for them. What happens when the adult changes to want Y instead of X and A, B and C too? Are parents expected to change themselves into whatever the adult wants and when?

How much do you think that someone is going to care how often you tell them that they are loved and the door is always open to them while someone runs out to buy cards for occasions and send them?

Have you tried (I’m sure that you have done so) to tell them that YOU are in trouble and could use some help?

Most parents have been in hospital or in need only to be met by either nothing or convenient (for them of course) responses where there is no follow through or they’ve sent a list of emailed or texted methods and a well wish if that much instead? A lot will find themselves with NO response at all or in being blocked. There’s a reason for that type of either lack of response or a half-assed attempt at it. Guilt or influencers as well as fear of being suckered in are at the crux of their responses or lack of them.

I have tried and tried to no avail and things have only gotten worse. What do I do now?

Give up! I know that it sounds like a “tuck your tail and run” type of attitude but, the reality is that until or unless Estranged Adults want something to change, there is going to be no attempt on their part and frankly, anything that parents try or attempt at this point, only adds to their arsenal. Attempting anything further at this point is akin to taking a can of gasoline and throwing it onto a fire. The more a parent does, the further away they push their adults. Please, please, please, unless you truly have reason to change yourself or you’ve caused issues and can see it in their words or situations, do NOT ever resort to attempting to be what they want you to be if they can even bother to tell you that much. Most estranged adults will give you vague answers like “you know” or “do the research”, “look deep within your heart”, “do the work”, “figure it out” or worse than anything, something along the lines of, “you don’t respect me”. There are a plethora of dilute responses that can and will be spewed out to you but in changing to what you think they want or even what they want at that time if they can spell it out for you, means that you’ll be changing down the road again and even then, they won’t be happy. It will all still be your fault. Not only that but, it could be turned against you with things like “well YOU let it happen” or “you’re so willing to please, what a sad, pathetic person you are” and right on down the line to something like, “you’re a liar” and “you’re faking it”. It never works so, why try it? They want to be away from you so, why bother any further?

That’s my CHILD and I am heart-broken over it all so, I’ll never give up on them or trying

All parents of estranged adults feel that way. It’s bred into us from the time that we either know that a child is due to taking care of them. It’s an instinct that humans have but, is it the right thing to do?

Do the want you to keep on trying? If you’ve been told to leave them alone or been blocked by them or are only receiving text or messages from them on holidays, you may have been told that they don’t WANT you to continue to try with them. In that case, continuing on, no matter what your feelings are, is only pushing them further away. STOP TRYING! Unless you know what it is that both you’ve allegedly done to them and can twist and turn yourself into a pretzel of untrue personality that will change according to their beliefs or you’ve done something to them and can change, you’re wasting not only your time and energy but, theirs as well. You’re trying them and your own patience. While it’s an urge, is it true and are you willing to continue on doing, doing, changing, giving, being fake or whatever you feel that you should be doing or they tell you to do? What if they do it again to you and estrange again (which commonly happens) are you going to try more, harder or become someone that you’re not to please them? Think again before you attempt it because it’s leading to a total game of chasing your tail because that’s what they are essentially doing to themselves or someone else.

My Ex has complete control over them because he/she can and they’ve downplayed me or someone else has done it. I hate my ex!

If you hate your ex, that’s a horse of a different colour. Dislike your ex and make it between the 2 of you. Take one look at an entire generation of adult children who are out at beaches over a holiday and how much they truly care about their parents or other family members. While brave words come out of their mouths and they’re guzzling drinks and food, playing games on the beaches of the southern world, stating that if it’s their time, it’s their time, who are they caring about really? Ask yourself that question. Now, do you really and truly think that they care about your ex or do they care more about money, gifts, things that can be bought or even your spouse’s dirt that they’ve spread falsely about you in order to get back at you? Don’t you believe that it’s possibly time for you and your ex to solve your issues between the 2 of you instead of using the adults as pawns in their hatred against you or vice-versa?

My grandchildren are being with held from me. I want to see my grands!

This idea deserves an entire piece about this topic but, the simple answer to this is that your estranged adult doesn’t want you to be part of their children’s lives? Why? Some of it is belief that whatever “damage” they’ve cooked up within their own minds or had someone else do for them, you’re going to do to their children too. After all, they are the greatest parents on the planet, right? They know best and you’re just “toxic” to everyone around you.

First of all, let’s say one thing here. Your estranged adult’s children are theirs to do with whatever they want. These kids are THEIR property and they are going to do with them whatever they feel works for them. The second thing is that in a lot of cases, these adults who have estranged, know full well that this idea is hurting you and that’s precisely what they want to do…hurt you. The more want that you show them to having your grandchildren in your life, the more that they’re going to see that as your weak spot and withdraw their children even more.

No matter what they want, are doing or believe, they are using their children as “pawns” in a game that they have concocted. Grandparents in most places on this planet, have NO rights but, let’s look at the idea that your grandchildren’s parents are showing them how to deal with situations…withdraw completely. If you don’t think that little minds are taking that in, you’d be wrong. They are and they do swallow it even if they hold it on tap. The first thing that they are going to attempt with your estranged adults if they aren’t getting what they want from them is sadly, estranging from those parents. It’s been taught. As long as your estranged adults are turning sommersaults and there’s a need for their parents to be involved in their lives, they are going to keep them on board. The moment though that these grands can’t get what they need or want out of their parents (your estranged adults), their parents are useless to them and therefore out of their lives too.

Can anyone control what their adults who have estranged think or feel or do? No. One can’t, not even if the parent twists themselves into a plasticine figure which can bend and twist as needed. Remember that YOUR self-esteem and mind will always know the reality behind it all and when you need something, no matter how “good” you think that you’re being, more often than not, you can forget getting help for you. They’re too stuck on themselves and their own reasons.

From my little corner of life to yours, be smart and recognize your limitations both as a person and as a parent. See the reality behind your now adult who has estranged and be honest with yourself about it all. That’s the wise way on dealing with this issue.

Be well, stay well,

Love and Light!

No One Is Invincible No Matter What Is Believed

What needs to be said about thinking yourselves invincible is below. Read on.

You are not invincible and the world is not your oyster.

There, it’s been said, loudly, plainly and without age, race, creed or religion added in. It’s also not a political statement or one that minces words.

If you think or feel that you’re somehow above getting a virus that has killed hundreds of thousands of people, don’t believe it to be worse than the seasonal flu, that you can’t get it or that 2 a.m. is the time to be out shooting off fireworks in spite of the time, you’ve got the wrong idea. By thinking that the world is your oyster and to hell with anyone else, you’ve got it wrong as well.

No one can say this bluntly without risking some sort of flack so, it is being said.

Yes, the world knows that you’re likely to miss out on a whole pile of things that other generations may have gotten to do and no, if you don’t watch or listen to the news or even read it, things aren’t going to go your way either. If you believe something, believe whatever you want if you don’t believe it, that’s fine too but, you know what? You have to follow rules and guess what? One day, you are going to be the one making those rules. Think that you’re going to do it differently than those who have implemented these and you’d also be wrong. Age, Life and The Universe will teach you a few things that will change how it is that you think right now. Don’t believe me? Wait. It’s coming. There are price tags and consequences to everything that one does or doesn’t do. There has to be pay back in one way or another at some point or many in your life. Nothing comes for free. Accept that and you’re half way there.

For some, saying that the pandemic isn’t real and ignoring social distancing or large crowds, you’re being foolish. Equally, you’re playing with other people’s lives and likely, even your own. Even those who think that if someone else doesn’t like the fact that there is ignorance and pure disregard out there and they see it happening, have to go to get groceries and medications or whatever at some point or another. Are those who have broken social laws going to stay away from those stores? No. That’s the point right there. If one also thinks that this is a technological world and therefore, pay them their fees to deliver and one never needs to leave their homes thus, keeping safe, think again, genius. A lot of households not only can’t afford those atrocious, gouging extra fees because they’ve living on no income or a fixed one or extremely small numbers like disability but, try getting a service that has a delivery or even pick up time slot available in under a month. Go ahead Einsteins, search engine that much and report back to us how to do it.

Still don’t care? Got a hole burning in your pocket with money from parents or others and feel that it’s your “right” to set off bangs from fireworks on a non-firework weekend? Guess what. Thanks to your thinking patterns, there are people with illness caused by reckless thinking and behaviours, trying hard to get some much needed sleep at 12, 1 and even 3 a.m.. There are people with babies who can’t sleep because you had to get out there and shoot off something you got or had or saved or whatever. Think about those who have dogs who are frightened of noises like this type of thing and are shivering and shaking, wanting to crawl into someone’s mouth to make it all stop.

Worse than all of that, is the idea of asking yourselves should doctors, nurses, healthcare workers, frontline workers that are deemed essential risk their lives for you should you need their help? If you answered an absolute “yes” to that, think again because the buzzer just sounded which indicated that you’re wrong.

No one owes anything to you. If you’re of age no matter what your colour, race, religion, political affiliations if you have any that is or gender ID is, believe that you’re supposed to be helped if you need it or think that you won’t need any help at any point because you have the latest cell phone and can therefore, know it all, the buzzer has sounded yet again with a rousing rendition of “you’re wrong”. When you are scared or sick or have a child who is crying at midnight or 3 a.m. because some jerks have more money than brains, you may find yourselves behind rather dark times because there are no services out there to save you.

From my little corner of life to yours, if you think that you know it all and go against the rules, by-laws and have no consideration for other people on this planet because you feel that you have the world by the tail or have enough breath left in you to be able to protest in some fashion or another or do whatever it is that you wish to do, don’t be surprised if someone refuses to help you when you need the most help. If you do get that help, be thankful, respectful and thoughtful of other people. Laws, rules, requests etc. are a polite way of asking you to stop doing things for a reason. One day, they are going to protect you too in one way or another.

If you don’t believe this piece, then wait another dozen or more years and see how you feel about these words then. By the way, if you don’t believe that there will ever come a time when you’re going to need more than a search engined form of help, think again next time your wifi goes down or data runs out or the search engines are all filled with complete garbage, meant to sell you something and don’t bother to estrange from your parents or others either. You don’t have the intellectual ability to think properly.

To everyone, be well, stay well.

Love and Light!

Estrangement, Time To Think & Less Got Done During A Pandemic

To demonstrate that people tend to do more thinking than work during a pandemic
Thinking nets some ideas and realizations

Being in the middle of a global pandemic gives us all time. Actually, it gives us all loads of time to think. Perhaps, it’s too much time to think. In spite of having the best of intentions of doing things around the house, like cleaning or tossing or whatever, we come to realize 2 things. The first is that we have no where to put the things that we wanted to get rid of and no one was going to come and get it and secondly, we recognized rather quickly that if we didn’t have something already within our grasps, we weren’t about to get them now, even if we ordered them online and could afford it. Some things, we couldn’t even get no matter how we tried.

I did come to realize a few things though

  1. It became obvious that doing good wasn’t any measure of how you, yourself would be thought of or treated
  2. Doing things the “right way” according to everyone else’s thoughts and therefore, your own, only leads to more being used
  3. When you absolutely can’t do anything more for someone, they’re mad at you, don’t know why they are and will cook up stories about you within themselves
  4. People will come to believe about you whatever the heck they want to believe to suit their own purposes whether they are right or not and treat you according to those beliefs
  5. No matter how much you do for others and they’ve profited by it in some way or another, you’re not going to be included or wanted around anymore than what they did before
  6. One can consider themselves “blessed” if they have a lot of people around them but, at what price are those people around us? Have we paid in some way for these people to be around us? Was it worth it? Where are they now?
  7. People can be as wonderful or right or do whatever someone else wants in order to please them but, when that stops, their care about you stops too
  8. We can all serve purposes in other people’s lives but, when we’ve outlived that purpose, they’re not going to chase us or want us around or even care
  9. Once others get what they wanted from you and have something else on the burner, cooking…they’re not interested in you any longer. It doesn’t matter how many back flips you’ve done for them, they have moved onto other things that seem more important to them at that time
  10. Once someone realizes that they need something, they may be back at your door or on the phone or touching base with you again. Do you really want them around?
  11. If you’re not included in the good times, that’s a sure sign that you’re not wanted. It’s more about what you can do for them that they’re interested in. Give up.
  12. Live, Love and Laugh because this isn’t a dress rehearsal for your life. This is it. Let others realize that you’re not their doormats upon which to wipe their feet on a muddy or snowy day. You’re a real person with feelings too and there’s only so much that you’re going to take and put up with before you also walk off into the sunset.
  13. When you believe that someone is coming around to seeing things your way, there are a couple of questions that you should ask yourself such as, a) is this temporary to get what they want and they’re going to be gone again b) am I being used as a stepping stone or doormat again and possibly the biggest question that needs answering is, c) do I really want to get back into being used again no matter what they say? (There is always that possibility and even a likelihood that it’s happening that way)
  14. No one, and I mean NO ONE is “busy” 24/7. While someone may say something like “I know it’s been 3 months since I called you last or came by to see you or we went out for dinner, I was “busy”. The old “I have been SO busy lately” can be understood once, maybe twice if you are certain that they are indeed that busy or they’ve been on vacation or not sick however, once that time frame is over, they cannot be that “busy” that they can’t take 2 minutes to call or see you or even text you to say that they are busy. That goes double for when there’s a holiday of some kind. If they cannot think of you at those points and call you at bare minimum, you’re really not that important to them at that time frame
  15. When someone only calls or texts you at odd times and they get into problems, they are usually telling you that they don’t want anything to do with you other than what you can do for them. Take that as a sign of who they are and your relationship with them as well as why it happens this way

There’s more

You are a person too and so am I. We have or should have the that we have feelings too, as others do and, we can then realize that we haven’t been put on this earth solely to serve others nor, need we do it unless they are paying us to do these types of things. We are therefore, as human as they are so, when someone is only around because of what we can or will do for them, they are the ones who need the realization that we need to have lives and not be so “helpful”. We are being used.

Being a parent doesn’t mean that we forever owe our “kids”

Adults who are unhappy in their lives, are often searching for ways to blame someone for their own bad or poor choices. If they are genetically predisposed to an ailment, blaming genetics could be some place to put that blame however, to place it upon a parent or parents isn’t ok.

If your parent doesn’t like your spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend or others in your life like friends, take it that they simply don’t like them. There’s often a reason and that is as good as your reasoning for liking that person. Was that taken into consideration or was that person more important than your own parent(s)? Is what parents can do for their adult kids more important than the parent? If a child even though they are adults now, are only around a parent for what they can get or to get back at another parent or keeping their kids from grandparents, there’s a signal that the adult is only around for what they can get. What’s that saying about that child turned adult?

It’s an age old story that people have given off or out when they are unhappy with something or themselves in this life that they didn’t ask to be born. To the best of our knowledge as human beings on this planet, no one here asked to be born. I know that I didn’t ask nor, did my parents or theirs or theirs and on down the line. No one living asked. While a parent or parents have the onus to give their children the necessities of Life, they are not obliged to do so beyond the age at which a child can do most things for themselves. At the age of 16 to 18 years of age, unless there’s a mental disability, parents do not owe their offspring anything further. They certainly don’t owe them weddings, cars, cell phones, tablets, computers or anything else that can be thought of by these now adults. When they blame the parents or place blame upon them and try to spin the wheel by saying things like, “you’re to blame”, “you’re toxic to me” or “you owe me”, it can be said that this now adult person is not taking responsibility for themselves or their own lives, mistakes or choices.

People aren’t all toxic so, why put that on someone’s forehead?

Nothing irks me more than hearing someone else tell someone that they’re “toxic”. To that, I have to ask myself and even them if they’re not considering themselves to be “toxic” to themselves?

Seriously, when they’ve come up with all sorts of reasons why they’d consider someone else as “toxic” that’s usually code for, “I hate my life as it is and it will be so much better if I don’t have (fill in the blanks) as part of it”.

In part, that may be true. Not because their lives are instantly going to improve if you or someone else were to be out of them but, it’s tell-tale that the person doing the labelling of being “toxic” is likely one of convenience rather than taking responsibility for themselves or their own lives.

What’s certain is that there are going to be plenty of people in and out of our lives who aren’t going to make our lives somehow instantly better. There are going to be difficult people who are in and out of our lives, not the least of which may include bosses, friends and what doesn’t get realized often enough, are those who are around the most, such as kids, husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends, wives etc.. It’s all convenient to blame someone else rather than say to ourselves, “yup, that person isn’t the way that I’d prefer them to be but, I care so, I will put up with them”…unless of course, that person is a boss in which case, they will be put up with in order to keep their jobs and have what they want in life. It’s far easier for them to oust relatives from their lives by calling them or considering them as “toxic” than to figure out what may be going on within themselves or their own lives? How many others has that person gotten rid of or exited their lives?

I’m a narcissist, you’re a narcissist, wouldn’t you like to be a narcissist too?

Pathetically, those who slap that label on someone else’s foreheads without a professional diagnosis wrought by proper testings, may be the most narcissistic of all and not even realize that they are being that way.

Hearing that term makes many wonder if those who are walking around, calling others narcissistic even know more than what they’ve read on the net? It’s a broadly overused term with which to lay blame or unhappiness onto others who don’t deserve to be called that label.

If being a narcissist is relevant to anyone, it belongs to everyone on this planet in one way or another. After all, how many of us want to be alive? How many of us aren’t thinking of ourselves when we’re in trouble? Doesn’t it make sense that any time someone stands back and doesn’t get involved in something, they are thinking of self? Does that not mean that every single living being on this planet isn’t a bit narcissistic then and I could go on and on and on with examples but, I think that if one were to think about it hard enough, one would realize that everyone is narcissistic even those running around, slapping the narcissist’s label on other’s foreheads.

From my little corner of life to yours, there have been weeks and even months whereby a lot of other things could have been done but, weren’t. However, thinking too much as become abundant instead. With thinking though, comes some realizations. They aren’t wrong as much as they are whatever one feels and thinks. This is especially true of those who have had so much from others.

On that note, I hope all is well with you and that you’re staying well.

Be well,

Love and Light!

Writing Not Selling Anything

People tend to have the assumption that I somehow magically incur financial support by doing YouTube videos or writing this blog. I don’t. I mean, I do get some money from YouTube ads accrued but, I don’t actually get more than $10.00 per month. I get nothing from this blog. Zero!

I don’t know about you but, I don’t think that I could afford a coffee per day on $10.00 per month. If anyone can figure that out, please let me know. I’d love to be able to do it. I certainly can’t live off of this amount nor, do I live in anything that even remotely resembles a mansion. Some people’s apartments are larger than my entire small, post war built home and, no…I didn’t buy the house then so, that can be taken off of the table or your idea pad if you have one. I say that with a chuckle not in seriousness but, if you have one, don’t write it down because you’d be false in imagining that much.

There are a few people who read this blog which I make nothing on and pay more for a separate domain name for having it for ease than I care to think about and watch YouTube videos or comment on my Facebook wall on estrangement issues. By the way, paying for a separate domain name on this blog is going out the window as I can no longer afford it any longer but, yes I will be still writing on it if they allow me to do so. What’s even more baffling is that less than that my YouTube videos don’t even bring in enough income to cover the costs of the domain name. Frankly, it’s getting more and more frustrating to write pieces so that I differ the content from place to place only to have a few to write for. Thank you to those who have followed this blog by the way!

I’ve attempted to sell no one anything, have I? I do suppose that it makes me a rather stupid business person but, I’m not out to set up a business. I’m here only to help if I can in one way or another. Knowing that the bulk of my readers are younger in age than what I am dealing with in YouTube, I try to vary the content and throw in what is better suited to what I am thinking or feeling in a day or whenever I do feel the need to write about it.

If someone doesn’t like my ideas which even I will change slightly as time and experiences dictate, they are always free to read something else that I’ve written over the past 8 years or so and those who don’t agree or aren’t in the situations that I am or want to believe themselves instead or something else that they’ve read, are always free to read someone else’s writings or to click off until I’ve said something that they will agree with. It’s ok. I make nothing from any of it.

What I do have issue with though, are those who believe that there’s “nothings” because their adult children have walked off on them. I think that this topic deserves an entire piece or a video on it but, suffice it to say that we are people.

From my little corner of life to yours, I will say things that you may not agree with but, if that something sparks an idea of your own, within you and it works for you, I’m happy. That’s what I write for after all.

Be well, stay well!

Love and Light!

With Covid-19 There Are No Such Things As Freedom & Rights

These morons need to re-think their stance or with their “FREEDOM” be left alone if they get ill. Covid-19 doesn’t discriminate on age. It will take its target and everyone else can scream that it’s their freedom which has been breached by these shallow or shoddy thinking morons.

We’ve all seen those who will scream it from the rooftops that it’s their “right” to do as they please because it’s their “life”. There have been so many people who are bored with not being able to do things as usual that they’ve taken to the streets as well as other sources with which to say that they have “rights” and should have their “freedom” to do as they want. Worse than that, they say something as stupid and foolhardy as just stay in to those who don’t want this potentially deadly virus.

How many people have watched people recount their horrible experiences with this virus? While many have or are recovering, people have died, trying to fight it off. What’s even sadder is to watch those who previously had a differing opinion on the entire thing, feeling that after this amount of time, things should be or go back to near, if not total normalcy. Delusional or what?

Even if a person who cried out for their “rights” were to live totally alone and everyone stayed indoors who didn’t want to get it, the point remains that when someone is ill with this nasty coronavirus, they’re ill. They need other people to help them out. At worst, may be medical professionals who have to be exposed to these non-thinking, brainless twits who hadn’t thought past the idea that they didn’t get to see a sporting event or some concert or sit in a restaurant.

It’s plain to see the sheer numbers of people who have written on social media, articles and even talking heads on news programs or politicians who break rules by the dozens, feel that they should be able to do as they want even if it cannot be done in the ways that they’re used to being able to do things.

It’s fine for those who want their “rights” to scream out about having them but, did they take into account that not only while doing so, they are not only putting themselves in danger but, anyone who has to care for them should they get Covid-19 or perhaps, the fact that while coming in contact with so many other people (mask or not) even if asymptomatic themselves, they could pass on this virus to other people? Worse to best case scenario, that person can pass it onto someone else who dies from it or becomes quarantined because they have come in contact with someone who has it. Does that matter at all?

Actually, it doesn’t matter as much as you’d hope it would matter to these types of people. Why? Because they believe that they are right and everyone else is wrong, including epidemiologists, virologists, doctors, nurses and even police officers or the local cashier where they get their gourmet eats with beer budgets instead of champagne finances.

What has often been found is that those who want their so-called “rights” are the first ones to scream down walls when they are ill with this virus. They want a national parade in their sights so that they’re not bored. Worse than that, they will rant and rave over not getting doctors or nurses or paramedics to pay attention to them the way that they want it done. After all, they have “rights” and they know them. They seem to feel that they know everything and no one else knows as much as they do. Do they have something coming to them or what?

NEWS FLASH…they don’t know it all, nor do their “gods” who are nothing but brilliant marketing conspiracy theorists whose books or interviews line these whiner’s book shelves.

If someone doesn’t believe that this virus is real, I will dare them to put themselves onto the front lines and give people who would dearly love to be away from the danger, in their places. How about it, Bravehearts? How about putting yourself and your life in danger while putting yourself onto the front lines and in danger so that those who are in great jeopardy can take the time off to sleep a peaceful sleep? Any takers from this group of moronic thinkers who believe that they are right and everyone else is wrong? Show your stuff. Nevermind the armies or others, you do it. You’re not afraid of it, are you or is your only aim to be able to attend a sporting event, concert, go shopping or having a favoured restaurant or store available to you?

There is no such thing as “rights” when it comes to this threatening virus. It doesn’t understand your wants or beliefs or those of conspiracy theorists. It only understands the word, “attack”. It doesn’t discriminate either. There are no races, creeds, cultures or even ages in which it won’t attach itself.

For those geniuses who believe that they are young and healthy…guess again. You could find yourselves bed ridden or in a medically induced coma, by yourself in a hospital with delirium, with some poor nurse, doctor, technician or whatever is required, ventilated. You’re also going to have to go home with someone who you could infect or who will become quarantined for at least 14 days because you had your rights granted to you. Was it worth it?

From my little corner of life to yours, if you still think that this is all hyped or faked or false or something that happens with the flu, again, I dare you to volunteer your time so that those who are in true danger can get some sleep, let their faces heal from masks so air tight that their skin crinkles, creases and gains a rash. Still think you’re right and everyone is over reacting to this? Keep going, keep telling others to stay indoors so that you can go out and see how far you get with walking around your street because that’s as far as you’re going to get without taking a chance of infecting others.

To everyone else who is earnestly trying, stay well,

Love and Light!

Estrangement Reasons: Are You Giving Your Kids Too Much

Think that this looks wonderfully right? Read on

If mothers didn’t exist, there wouldn’t be any one of us on this planet. Did anyone get that point?

If fathers didn’t exist, there could be as many women in the world as one wanted but, without sperm there would be no human life.

How grateful is one for the idea that all mothers aren’t worthy of being here then? What about fathers?

Are you ungrateful of having life? is there something wrong with you having a breath to take, your heart beating or the ability to think even if it is warped, high or otherwise?

Do you believe that all parents are out to hurt you because it’s fun or to make you do things that you may not want to do?

I hated having to go to bed at a certain time but, I was told to do so. What would this world be or come to if every parent simply let their children make up their own bed times? Wouldn’t one be calling their parent or parents “bad parents” no matter what was done or not done with them by their parents?

I didn’t want to clean or go to school or do things that normal kids are doing or have to do and yet, if I didn’t do those things, I was scolded. Should I have been let to do whatever I wanted to do and my mother and father left to do as they wanted to do?

What would have been said by each child or adult if that were to have been the case?

Well, I could tell you one thing. I would have gone to bed and gotten up whenever I felt like it. I may have fallen asleep during classes and not done any homework. The house would have fallen apart because my parents wouldn’t have done laundry or cleaning, the grass would have grown until city by-laws sent us messages about what may be lurking in that grass and frankly, I wouldn’t have eaten more than peanut butter on a slice of bread for 3 meals a day or until it ran out because my parents wouldn’t have done the shopping for food. Oh yes, they may have done as they pleased, skipped the dishes and prep work as well as the clean-up from meals but, then again, they wouldn’t have wanted to have worked either so, there would be no money coming in for restaurants or groceries or cars or anything else that I wanted or them.

If a parent tries to get a child, especially a grown child, out and with others because all that they did was sit around the house, they’re considered “bad parents” as the kids, adults or not, would have continued watching tv or playing video games. When they couldn’t function in the world because they had no skills with which to get jobs, work wasn’t provided for them by parents, or whatever the case may have been, they were considered to be “bad parents”, toxic, narcissistic or “owing”.

Personally, while I’ve long since seen those who have had it all, calling parents “bad” because parents didn’t do as they wanted them to do or when, I have to laugh over those who will tell other parents “yeah, you OWE us. We didn’t ask to be born and you took away our rights”. That has always given me quite the chuckle. Why?

Let’s take a look at Susie and Johnny who got together because they felt like misfits and stayed together, blaming parents for everything that they don’t like about their lives.

Now, let’s also look at their parents who provided everything that both of them wanted other than each other while having troubles in their own lives and being unhappy with things as they are. While everyone has their issues to deal with in Life, Johnny and Susie only had themselves to cope with and their own wants and issues. Parents be damned and blamed. I heard one of them utter (amongst many other complaints) that “all grey hairs” were stupid.

However Johnny and Susie live or wish to live, it requires work and working. Even if Johnny is provided with a job by his parents and, was made to do things that Johnny grumbled about having to do, or as ordered by his parent(s), the point is that Johnny has been provided with a job by his parent(s) and a way with which to live the life that he wanted.

Susie wasn’t provided with a job as her family didn’t have one to offer her however, they did pay for her to go to a university and get a degree, along with help, support and whatever else that her parents could provide, including a car for her to use.

Neither Susie nor, Johnny were happy though with either set of parents because their parents weren’t exactly the way that either of them wanted their parents to be.

If we were to take a giant step back in time though, we’d be able to see that both Johnny and Susie were provided for by their parents way past the ages at which a lot of parents would have told them to get a job and move out and onwards. Their parents did provide for them though until Johnny and Susie met.

Neither of them were capable of being normal people with normal lives though they thought that smoking and doing other drugs was the way. Someone had to pay for it though. That had to be Johnny and Susie. In spite of Johnny having been given several jobs within the parent(s) business to keep him in work, Johnny managed to grumble and so did Susie moan and groan, gripe and complain about not having what she wanted from her parents either.

Enter the idea that had neither set of parents given a damn past the time that they were both 16 years of the age of being able to leave, both of them would have nothing. It was their parents who allowed Johnny and Susie to have what they have.

Also part of the thought was that were either set of parents to have NOT done everything that they could, both Johnny and Susie wouldn’t have been able to be alive, let alone, be together. Both sets of parents had done more than enough for these now adults.

What if they hadn’t have done as they did? What then?

It’s far too convenient for both Johnny and Susie to blame parents for not being as they wanted them to be. What if their parents hadn’t done as Johnny and Susie wanted all along?

You’d have guessed right. Johnny and Susie would have been blaming their parents for not being parents to them even though they were past the age of 16 years of age. Had either set of parents not provided what they have and had given to Johnny or Susie and gone on with their own lives, or even divorces, Johnny and Susie would be up the creek without paddles.

Would they have met at all?

Likely not. The reason is as visible and plain as the nose on your face (hopefully, you have one that is as this is just an expression to have used). They would have blamed their parents for not doing enough as they were and are doing right now.

You see, there is no way to have pleased either one of them. Parents were damned if they did and damned if they didn’t. It’s as simple as it gets.

The real problem is that both sets of parents tried to give both Johnny and Susie whatever it was that they wanted in one way or another and within reason. The parents did however, manage to give both of these now adults, whatever they could give in whatever ways.

Today, Johnny and Susie aren’t speaking to 3 of their 4 parents. Why? Because the parents aren’t following what Johnny or Susie wanted them to do or be for them and frankly, Johnny and Susie have worked up reasons why they shouldn’t bother with 3 of the 4 parents. Johnny will eventually be without the 1 parent he is barely speaking to and who provides his job. He’s ticked off everyone else around him and everyone involved in his life for the most part. Those who are or were closest to him, he can work up a way to grumble about them. Susie concurs with Johnny because she, herself, can’t think on her own or thinks that Johnny is right. In actuality, he’s nothing but a “Jimmy Jones” type cult leader who uses drugs instead of cyanide laced Koolaid as was done in “Jones Town”.

What makes this all worse than anything else is that Jimmy Jones there or Johnny, truly believes that he’s a deep thinker while being stoned or high 95% of the time or better. Five percent of that time, he’s asleep, wrappers from chocolate and half drank glasses of stuff around him while both he and Susie take turns, sleeping on a couch.

Sadly, Susie thinks that Jimmy Jones or Johnny there is right and cannot be wrong in spite of neither of them having more than co-workers (Johnny less than Susie) as “friends” or those on Social Media. What’s ironic is that Johnny has few friends if any and Susie has dropped everyone from her past because of her beliefs and Johnny’s incessant ramblings, mumblings and groans. Susie can only see herself with him. Not parents. She’s effectively been led to estrange herself from everyone that she ever has known so that Jimmy Jones there or Johnny has control over her and her mind. If that doesn’t work, he’ll ply her some other way and she will fall for it.

From my little corner of life to yours, it’s not Johnny or Susie’s parent’s faults that these 2 are as they are. It’s Johnny and Susie’s ball to play with and drop on each other. Sooner or later, all that they will have is themselves to look at as parents die off and without them as part of the picture because no one in the family will put up with it all or even tell them.

Be glad that we’re alive. No one ever has asked to be born and while parents owed us to raise us to a certain age, they only owed us the necessities of life for that period of time. Everything else was simply icing on a cake and a cherry on top of it.

Think about it and what you’re doing for and with your children, adults or not. Are you giving them far too much or what they want, hoping that it will buy you loyalty by them? Ok, go ahead and do so while hoping that it works and you’re not part of the estranged from parents. Don’t think it could happen to you? Think again.

Best wishes!

Love and Light!

Covid-19 Ignorance or Covidiots

Those who jump ship and go out must not fear being sick, no matter how much or how little or whether they become severely ill and take others with them. How sad but, it’s truly saying something about the people who choose to do this type of thing. In other words, their “rights” are more important to them than someone else’s lives.

I get it that we’re all fatigued with being kept from stores and services that we’ve been used to however, anyone who followed the Spanish Flu or the 1918 Coronavirus can see that by leaping into what someone considers a “normal life” one is risking both getting infected with this newer Coronavirus or they take a chance on loading it onto others.

While some may believe that this virus is only a hoax or no worse than the seasonal flu, they may have to guess again. For those who believe that it’s only a virus that kills the elderly or those whose immune systems are down and they can’t get it, they need to guess again. As time goes on and the world learns more and more about it, experts are recognizing that no one is immune to it. Lest someone younger feel that they’re not going to get it or will take it asymptomatically or whatever it is that they want to believe, they need to think again here too. Even were one to take it more mildly that say someone else that they know or live with, maybe they should think about other people and how it may kill them in one way or another. If they cannot think beyond themselves and their “rights” perhaps, it may help them to know that should someone that they know actually become ill enough to get tested and test positive, that means QUARANTINE for everyone who has been near that person or especially, if they live with them. How are they going to feel if they kill off someone because of their “rights” or inability to grasp this concept.

Before anyone calls me a quack or says that I don’t know what it is that I’m speaking of, this isn’t coming from me alone. This is coming from those who have caught this virus, those whose families have lost someone and cannot have a funeral for the person due to the fear of the body and others giving them the virus as well as that of scientists (not affiliated with what one could call Big Pharma Co.s), epidemiologists, virologists etc.. My information also comes from prestigious medical journals with studies to back it all up. This information is available to anyone who wants to do real research and not just with conspiracy theorists or through some other sources of info or say-so.

That said, I know that I would love nothing better than to be able to shop the aisles of my favourite stores instead of curbside pick-ups or lining up with a mask and gloves to get into a store if they’re even open. A lot of them are not open and for good reason. What I don’t get are those who will kill, hurt, injure or anything else, anyone who is laying down the laws that there is no dining in a lot of places and restaurants. I’d love my hair dyed and trimmed as would I love to see my dog groomed and my husband’s hair that I keep trimming, less “wild” but, the reality is that things are as they are and with each passing day, tempers are flaring while impatience is growing greatly.

A lot of people are becoming depressed if not worsened and anxiety is at an all time high because there is nowhere to go. However, one need only remember that there’s a difference between complete freedom again, being ill or injecting oneself with some toxic, poisonous substance whereby, hospitalization is the name of the game or end result.

Every day, there are deaths galore and more and more cases of this virus in spite of a lot of measures that have been implemented, including isolation and stay at home. One does have to remember though that were it not for the world coming to almost a grinding halt, there may be far more cases and far more deaths.

I see more and more people who will sit at home, on Social Media sites tapping away at cell phones, tablets, computers or whatever they can use to get onto these sites, posting themselves into a frenzy that they should have their “rights”. Few of them though, will move their rears to get up off of their couches, shower, brush their teeth and go out to a protest in spite of their beliefs. Something is telling me that they are considering it far too much effort for them to do yet they want their “rights”. I’m having a hard time believing that they truly want what they think that they want. In my mind, what they really want is the ability to do things as they’ve always done and not necessarily do it.

If these people think that someone else is going to do it for them and take all of the chances, these people are either lazy or they fear being infected and being quarantined and sick. They want their “rights” but, they don’t want to chance getting this virus. If they use their voices enough from safe places, where they are safe, they are safe. They are what is called, “The Entitled Lazy”.

Do those people know that even if they were to be able to be tested, they could test as “negative” when in fact they are positive. There are far more false negatives than we know. Part of that reason is because the virus is not shedding its proteins uniformly. It sheds it sporadically and it’s catching that shedding on a test which is what turns a test positive. A negative result does not mean that someone isn’t positive. It only means that at that moment in time, the virus wasn’t being detected or shedding its capsule or protein. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand this point.

There will be no large gatherings such as concerts or sporting events with an audience anytime this month and likely not in June of this year. There may not be any for the remainder of this year as there could be a second wave and even a third as what happened with the Spanish Flu of 1918. Get comfortable enough with the idea of it and one can think that all of this isn’t worthwhile or it’s governments or Big Pharma or The Illuminati or the wealthiest of families that appear to run the entire world or whatever. One can even blame the Chinese. No matter who or what may be at the base of it all, one fact remains. The virus is here and all of us are susceptible, not just the elderly or infirm or those with underlying health issues. What’s more is that anyone can give anyone else this virus whether or not they are or aren’t showing symptoms. So, what’s the safest thing to do? Stay as free of it as one can.

From my little corner of life to yours, that’s not fear-mongering or false thinking. If I’m wrong about all of this and others know better than some of the most brilliant minds in the world, my hat is off to you but, not only may you be delusional, hallucinating or high or whatever, stay the hell away from me!

Best wishes!

Stay well,

Love and Light!

Just Walk Away

Has anyone ever bothered you so greatly that you’re finding yourself in a complete tailspin, worrying and wondering what they may be doing or how they are? Yes? If so, reach out to them and try to see what you can get from them or not get. If you’re not getting anything from them, maybe it’s that it’s simply time to walk away from them?

Is it time to walk away yet?

I can physically walk away but, my mind and heart keeps going back to them

Once you’ve tried with them especially, if it’s been on more than one occasion and, gotten nowhere with them, what is left for you to try or do? Have you thought about that idea? If you have, it may not stop your heart or mind from going back to them but, it can certainly reinforce the idea that you’ve tried and it hasn’t been returned.

Make no mistake though, there’s a form of either guilt or possibly regret that will crop up in them within time. It’s not as though they won’t feel this in one way or another. They either are or they will feel it. It may not be in your time frame or wants but, it will happen sooner or later. That may even be occurring right as you read these words but, you may not know it.

It’s easier to walk away when you know why but, not knowing is a different story

While it is true for some people as to why someone has done what they’ve done, it may be better if people don’t know why but instead, know only that it has occurred. Does knowing why things are as they are change the fact that they are as they are?

Let’s take the case of someone who has lied to not only you, others or themselves. Does it make any difference to know that they’re doing what they’re doing by lying? It only gives you license to say to yourself that it’s been done or is being done. No one can change what someone else thinks even if it is lies. Calling them out on it only makes them more of anxious to convince themselves and likely others that they were right and you were wrong or bad. Are you going to be able to change that in them or within them or in other’s minds if they believe it all anyway?

The best thing that any of us can do is to let those people or others believe in their own stories, even if re-written. It’s quite obvious that they cannot, will not or do not see things as you do and anyone who believes them, is only in for an upset when they realize the truth as well. Yes, if they cared enough to listen to someone else talk about the situation, they cared about something, somehow and somewhere. Don’t mistake what others will say in terms of “others don’t care”. Some do, some don’t but, whatever it is, are you going to be able to make them see things from your perspective? Have you tried? Where has that gotten you? Are you on the right side of the proverbial tracks now because you have or are you less further ahead because you have tried?

In other words, let others believe what they want to believe because you’re not going to be able to change that in them no matter how hard you try. Let’s face it, anyone who is that willing to believe someone else’s story, is on their side or getting something out of them in some way or another. They aren’t going to think that you are right and the other person is wrong. About the only thing that it will do is to cause that person to walk away from the entire situation in totality unless they were going to get something that they wanted out of the situation.

The person believes that they didn’t do anything wrong and that they’re owed something.

Really? They believe that they’re owed something? Are they adults, capable of knowing right from wrong? Can the decipher differences and understand that once they are adults, they are no longer owed anything by anyone unless they’ve given money and are expecting it back from that person. Even then, there is a chance that they will never see those dollars again. They risked giving it out so, they also chance never getting it back in any form. If they think that they are endeared to someone else because they’ve given out anything to anyone, they are sadly mistaken. As a matter of fact, it may even repel the person even further away from them through owing something to someone else.

If you know that someone else has done something wrong and truly has no real basis for having done so, perhaps it’s time to turn tail and walk away from them. Are they delusional? Let others who wish to believe them, believe them. Those people will eventually not need something or will figure it out for themselves. It’s not yours, mine or anyone else’s obligation to make it all right for everyone else, is it?

Unless you’ve done something bad to anyone, you don’t owe anyone anything. That is a point where people get stuck because someone else is the theoretical “squeaky wheel” and keeps getting the oil. At some point or another, everyone has to realize that the oil can is empty and the squeaky wheel needs to stop being fed or be changed. If there’s no noise but, that wheel isn’t pulling their weight or even working, it’s time to either replace that wheel or walk away. What are your choices?

I recently watched a video where a woman thought that she had a communicable disease. She didn’t have it, thankfully, as tests turned out negative and. yet, she had all of the symptoms of it, including other things that weren’t exactly good for her or anyone else to have had. Yet, right after hearing that she didn’t have this illness, out she went to buy things that weren’t needed by her or anyone else. She tried to claim that she wore protective equipment while doing it and having others who were more interested in what they wanted or watched instead of what she had done. This woman was called out on it by a few and the fact that she shouldn’t have been out anywhere. Others on the other hand, were more interested in the things that she’d bought at that store and a video that she’d made many times before on how to use those unnecessary things. The defended her and her choices to the hilt. That’s where I’ve walked away. I’m not going to change her mind and she certainly isn’t going to change mine nor, is anyone who defended her going to be able to do so either. The plain and simple fact is that once Life goes back to normal for these people and they’re able to resume their lives in full again, this person won’t see half of these people around or, better yet, these other people will have watched other videos that she’s made where she admits that she’s fooled them. She’s not by any means an idiot but, I can say that she’s smart because she’s got her army of people who she’s not only tricked but who are only using her right now while stuck indoors. It’ll all come to light. She knows what she’s done and frankly, she’s upset that others have figured it out as well and called her on that fact. She will milk it for all that it’s worth though. That I’m sure of.

What have I done with it all? I’ve walked away from the lies, the foolishness of both those who have defended her as well as those who are out to use her. I will leave it to them to figure it all out and this woman out as well. This woman is already paying the price for lies. There’s at the least, in spite of her draining the milk from the jug on the topic, a guilty conscience laying behind it all and, you know what? If she truly believes her own bull droppings, she’s got issues to deal with that will hit her in the face from others. I don’t have to do a thing except wait and watch how things go over time. If no one ever does see, then I’ve done the right thing by walking away from the situation and leaving it up to her and others.

Yes but, that’s about someone who is on a video. What about my kid or other family members that I’ve put so much into?

There’s really no difference in aspects. While there are far more emotions put into an adult child or children and grandchildren who may be being kept from you, ask yourself a question here. What’s bringing them back into my life?

If you can honestly say that everything has been tried and you’ve gotten nowhere with them, not having done anything bad to them, is there any sense in trying any longer? Seriously, is there really a reason to continue batting a head against a wall?

I know that I’ve left behind a lot of questions in this piece but, the reality is that once someone has tried and met up with no results other than more anger, there really and truly isn’t anything left to try, is there? What good will it do you or anyone else to continue trying? There is a reason and eventually, it will prove that there’s a price tag attached to everything that we do or choose to do or not do. No one gets off free from repercussions. Whether they pay now or they pay later, it’s only a matter of when, not “if” they will have to deal with their own consequences. Worse than that, if they still see their choices as good ones then, nothing that you could, can or would do will make a difference, will it?

With all sincerity, sometimes, the only thing and the best things that we can do are to

  • Stop trying
  • Walk away from the drama, trying and the mess that they’ve created
  • Quit giving oil to the squeaky wheel

From my little corner of life to yours, no one can hug a cactus. It’s simply not fun nor will it do you or it any good. Stop trying and walk away. Let things unfold as they will and forget that you’ve done so much for them. Quit pining for someone who doesn’t show you respect enough to bother with you or who will talk badly behind your back.

Wishing you well, stay well and safe during these hard times,

Love and Light!

Isolate Yourselves Now Or Later But Stick To The Rules

A mask and a prayer?

Some people understand this pandemic and why the world has laid down regulations to keep us as safe as they can, needed or not needed and yet, people are disobeying this, not following the guidelines or simply don’t care what happens to them because they are young or they want money. It’s unclear what the case is but, reality is showing that while the majority of people are following guidelines, there are some who feel that their own rules are ok or that they should be able to live their lives as they want them to be. Everyone else can put their lives on the line for them but, in the meanwhile, they’re going to either ignore or bend the rules to suit them and their needs or wants.

It’s understandable that people are going stir crazy being unable to do their normal things, including having social gatherings or go out to stores as usual. Let’s face it though. The Powers That Be don’t understand this virus as it’s new and the rules are in place to keep everyone safe, not the least of which includes those who are on the front lines and losing their lives, trying to save those who have disobeyed or done things “their way”.

How many of us have heard of stories of people coughing and pretend sneezing on someone as a weapon, including cashiers? Let’s take others who have decided that if they wear a mask, they can do whatever they want? What about those who have people over to their homes because their guests are family or friends or because the virus isn’t as prevalent in their area? If people were to have a nickel for everyone who does that type of thing, one wouldn’t need to worry about rent or mortgages as much.

It was recently heard that a Tuber had been feeling poorly with muscle aches, fatigue, a cough and yes, even a fever. This one went for a Covid-19 test because she was scared. Not only did she put others at risk or in not having tests for others (if she really did that is) but, she took away the human right of others who took that test (again, if she truly did have one done) but, she clearly stated during a “live” stream that the results could be 3 to more than 6 days in coming back. Miraculously, not only did her results come back within those 3 days and in time for her next video but, it was negative, announced during the next video she did and she was out doing a make up haul. Symptoms of something else be damned. Better than that, it seemed that once she got back the test results, the other symptoms totally disappeared miraculously. There was instantly no more fever, aches or flu-like symptoms, cough or whatever especially, after a “haul video” that she did on the makeup that she went on to the dollar store. It wasn’t a necessity haul either. At the least, many wouldn’t call Pledge for wood and makeup as necessities, would one? Take thyself out and about. That will cure everything within you for now.

In the meanwhile, this person had been out with her mother (an elderly or senior person), her son up close and personal along with her sister. How was that all considered “social distancing”? We won’t even get into the makeup haul and make up video that she made from the haul. After all, she did “wear a mask and gloves and social distance” when she bounced out to that dollar store to do a video with the haul. Who could ask for more?

A lot of businesses have closed for good where this is being written from. Others have had to claim a bankruptcy, people don’t know where their food is coming from and are relying upon food banks for it while others are taking social grants because they cannot work under a pandemic. There are so many stories out there that they can’t all be put into this piece. However, let’s say that many people are and have been facing great difficulties while this woman is out there buying up makeup to do a video? Okay, I guess that I’m going to go out too then as people who called her out on this idea were slammed by others who wanted makeup and haul videos to watch. Guess this woman hopes for a sponsorship, which she isn’t likely to get anyway no matter what is going on with her. Everyone else’s lives be darned. She doesn’t seem to follow rules well and, she’s not that stupid.

It’s reckless and stupidity or lack of care for anyone other than themselves that keeps people going against what should or shouldn’t be followed during this pandemic. Common sense during the rest of the time doesn’t seem to be being followed either.

As we were coming home from a drive in the car, not seeing anyone else at all other than through the glass of the car, we were stopped by a group of teens who had gathered at a corner to talk. One could tell that they all didn’t live in the same household, weren’t social distanced, and upon a honk of the horn from us, didn’t care at all that they were blocking not only the road but, possibly putting their elderly parents or grandparents in danger by their lack of care. Open a beach and watch people descend upon it like a herd of animals, starved for food and heading for it with total abandon to rules set out and put up for all to see.

Yes, of course, the economy needs to open up again slowly. Everyone needs to get back to some semblance of normality however, what are people going to do if the hospitals become overcrowded, there aren’t enough tests to go around, doctors and nurses who are working their fingers to the bone with extra long shifts and people were to have to be off of work, self-isolating again? What then? Whose rights would be in trouble? Why not follow the rules now and let those who have more knowledge take charge even if it doesn’t make sense to us at times? So what?

From my little corner of life to yours, you can follow the rules now or you can suffer the consequences of your actions later. Sadly, you’re likely taking away other people’s rights towards being better because you couldn’t bother being bored at home.

While the majority of people have followed these guidelines, others not only haven’t been doing it or won’t continue but, they’ll argue about it all and defend their choices at the same time.

Come on, people. We’ve come this far. Why ruin it because you are bored? Stay at your home, let others stay at theirs. Only go out for essentials and save lives, including your own. This woman may have made a haul and another makeup video (there are several dozens on her channel already) but, at what cost to herself or others? Follow rules for your sakes and that of others if you aren’t already doing so.

Be well, stay well and….

Love and Light!

How Much Is Not Enough

Please Note that this piece is NOT about estrangement though it can pertain to that if it’s happening to you. It hasn’t with me.

Text but, use it properly and for certain reasons, not to have an entire conversation

It’s not that text messages aren’t worth making. They are worthy of being there for a reason but, that reason is to not replace an old fashioned call. There’s a reason that I’m saying this so, follow along with why I’m saying what I’m saying here.

Text messages and Facebook Messages do NOT replace voice to voice or face to face visitations. While some may call my thoughts on this “old fashioned” and tell me to “get with it”, one is not able to nor, meant to type out a whole story on anything. It was originally invented so that people could send one another messages such as “where are you” or “I’ll meet you at 3:45 pm at (fill in the blanks here)”. They weren’t created as a means whereby one can express any heartfelt situation in great detail but, that’s what a lot of people are doing nowadays.

Recently, I received several text and Facebook messages, asking me how I was doing? What was I to say to that question? Nevermind the fact that my cat had passed away, my house and much in it had been destroyed with water pipes bursting, my basement backing up the drain with sewage and contractors who caused secondary damages as well as our once trusted vehicle quitting on us, amongst other things that were piling up. The fact remained that all that I could or was expected to answer with was a “fine…thanks for asking”. There is no way on earth that I could have typed in all that had happened because that’s not what these messaging abilities are meant to do or capable of doing. Yes, if one physically wants to sit and type it all out via phone or computer, one can do so physically but, no one really wants to hear it if they’re sending you a text message or other form of messaging.

When you wish to talk to someone, the proper thing to do would be to actually call that person or send them a text message with a “you’ve been on my mind, will call you tonight or tomorrow”. That’s about the extent of what a person who truly cares should go to with a text or other messaging forms should do. An actual call would allow more to be said, faster and more fully than a message can.

What do I call text or other messaging forms?

Why some text messages are like being a Coward

I call them the “Coward’s Way Out”.

Why would I say such a thing? Am I that old? Let me answer those 2 questions.

Firstly, no I am not that old. I’m grateful for the ability to send short messages to someone via some form of messaging. However, I am wise enough to realize that a message cannot reflect voice intonations nor be able to correct something instantaneously nor, even catch that it was misunderstood. More on that later on though.

Secondly, by “coward” I mean that it’s non-committal. Yes, when it’s sent, it’s sent but, it’s also a hope and prayer and assumption that someone else will get your message and will read it in their own time and answer with a simple response such as a thumbs up or a smile emoticon. What if their phones or their computers or whatever aren’t working or they don’t walk around with their cells taped to their butts or hands as some people do? Will they get that message really? Are you sure? Do you really care?

When someone says something like “hope you’re ok, love you” do they really care? Honestly, what does that mean in all reality to them whether their messages are returned or not returned? They’ve sent you a message which essentially is saying, “I’m thinking of you”. That’s about it. They really don’t care if you’re doing ok or not. In effect, they don’t want to know how it is that you’re doing. What they’ve really said is that they “hope” that you’re ok, they don’t care one way or the other and they’ve done their job by texting you to let you know that they thought of you. Big whoop. The last part of that message of “love you” would have meant that they were thinking of you. “Hope that you’re ok” isn’t meaning anything other than, making a statement that means nothing, I thought of you, done due diligence, sent you a message and that’s about as far as you were thought of if you think of it.

Lastly, it’s the “coward’s way out” because it permits people to send messages to others in their time and space or way and not have to commit to a voice to voice conversation. It also lets them say whatever they want to say or not say and get on with whatever they want to get to doing even if that’s watching paint dry. Like I’ve said before, it’s non-committal in any way, doesn’t allow for corrections, discussion, talking things through or whatever else may be required. It’s done on their terms, with minimal words or thinking and it’s on their time frames. Whether or not you receive it is not their problem. They sent it. They’re off the hook so to speak. The rest is up to you. They’re done.

Texting, digital and emails are the future…get with it!

Yeah, I’m with it. I get it. I certainly get the idea that it’s easy to do and everything but everything is going digital. As a matter of fact, once this pandemic is over (if it ever is that is and many are beginning to wonder about it now), a lot in this world will have changed. More and more businesses will have realized that with technology available and capabilities, there may be less need for physical bricks and mortar places to be every day. One can work in their business shirts, ties and make-up while wearing pj pants or worse, none if they don’t want to bother. Heck, they don’t even need a shower as thus far, computers and cell phones don’t have smell capabilities. Look out though that may come with time or if there’s a need or you didn’t know that you wanted coffee or popcorn along with fresh bread or cake.

I do understand that I’m not 90 years of age and we’re not in the early 1900’s anymore

While one can send documents, chat via Zoom or other versions from the comfort of their own homes or toilets if they want to, what one cannot do is to replace face to face or voice to voice contact. We will still need that in all of our lives. While they say that a picture is worth a thousand words, try a virtual tour of a car or house. Would you risk buying one without seeing it? What about a mattress or trying on a suit or dress and how it looks on you? What about test driving a car. Remember that there are tricks to photography and lenses along with other photo altering apps or software. I remember knowing how much of a backyard a neighbour had and let me say that the photos that were taken, made it look like a football field when it was actually only a few feet wide and deep. That leads me to ask you to question yourself on how much of a chance do you want to take on something on the net?

Have you ever listened to someone’s comments or posts on the net, met them on the phone or in person and realized that you weren’t exactly talking to who you thought that they were? I have done that with many different people over time.

What about the idea that you’ve stated in brevity in a message, “it’s cold, rainy and cloudy here today” when if it were on the phone or in person, you would have explained that it’s a good day to get things done indoors and you’re thankful for it. On the other side of things, the recipient only sees that much and says to themselves, “it must be horrible, depressing and cold. Glad that it’s sunny and warm here today. Oh well, I don’t care. I’m going for a swim,” and that’s the end of that text or message or even email session. There’s a total misuderstanding where one cannot explain and the other assumes wrongly what that person was saying but, the other one doesn’t care anyway so, it all ends there.

Emoticons, LOLs ROFLMAOs and anything else that can be added don’t get your message across no matter how you do it.

I am always careful to put in those types of things in plenty because I never know how anyone is going to take anything that I say via technological techniques. In spite of 30 of those things being inserted, my words (because my intonation cannot be heard) will be taken as perhaps, me being sarcastic and leave the other person, scratching their heads or, as I’ve said before, not always or exactly caring what you’ve meant or why.

Emails that contain more information than texts, can’t be relied upon either. They can often come across as something different than you believe it to mean. That also goes for the other person who receives that email or who responds to yours. Feelings get hurt and before we know it, we’re into fights, becoming enemies when the last thing that we intended on that email doing was to let that person know something quite the opposite to how they took your words or email.

If you really want more information or to talk or know what’s really going on with me or my life, pick up that phone and TALK to me!

Use a phone as a PHONE and call me if you wish to carry on a discussion or say your piece. That’s what phones are for!

There, it’s been said. Anyone who truly wants me to understand them and what they are going through or who wants me to understand their circumstances in full, can pick up that thing that they have in their hands (it’s called a cell PHONE for a reason and has numbers for a reason) or a home or office phone and call me to ask, talk and simply figure out what I mean about anything or let me see what they truly mean or meant by asking questions if I feel that I need to or they do. To do otherwise, is akin to being afraid of talking to me or anyone for that matter in my mind. In other words, it’s as though they don’t want to hear an answer or response from me. They not only may not care but, they don’t want to hear it from me or at that time.

How many here have gotten text messages sent to their home phone by someone who didn’t bother picking up a phone to call and speak to me but, didn’t even leave a voicemail? Is that laziness or what? Is that caring or not? What’s that saying to you?

From my little corner of life to yours, if you truly care about someone, you’ll actually use that home phone, Zoom, Skype or your cell PHONE to call someone with a long story. No, it’s NOT old fashioned to call or see someone. It is getting to a point though where anything with the word “phone” attached to it, I’m going to get rid of because not many use it.

If you’re too chicken to actually speak to that person voice to voice or face to face, don’t bother texting them or messaging them or any other form of communication as you’ll be considered non-caring. Would anyone who assumes that be so far off the mark?

Even if you’re busy at that moment, no one is busy 24/7. Make time later on to talk to that person. If you’re truly just saying, “got the reservations for 5 pm at Chez Calcun”….do it via text but, save the long conversations for the phone or face to face. If you truly can’t talk to that person at that moment because you’re changing a shitty diaper or up to your elbows in paint or about to go into a meeting, wait until you can and CALL them or see them (when Covid-19 is over). Sending them a text or other message is showing them that while you had a fleeting thought of them, other things or people were far more exciting and let’s face it, that person is out of your mind in 2 minutes or less, flat. Why bother?

Actions speak louder than a text or message. Use them. Have a nap if you’re bored and save someone else’s precious time and a risked misunderstanding.

Be well, stay well,

Love and Light.

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