It was Canada Day on WEDNESDAY July 1. I get it. There’s a pandemic happening and you all can’t go to your favourite haunts with 200 of your closest friends but, come on! Quit the freakin’ fireworks NOW. Even Americans have had their July 4th shoot-offs. Give it up Canadians.
Don’t you all know that there are dogs howling, trembling, barking and driving their pet parents crazy not to mention lack of sleep because of your noise and the bangs?
How about the fact that 2 a.m. is not the time some 3 days after July 1st to shoot off these things.
More money than freakin’ brains?
Seems that you’re all more interested in whatever it is that makes you happiest than it is about killing off Grandpa and Grandma, Aunt or Uncle or even parents.
Let’s not forget that your buds/pals had better be part of your “bubble” of 10 and that social distancing and masks have been tossed behind some bush.
Really? Do you really care that there are by-laws that say that you can’t light off fireworks some 3 days after the holiday? Did you look it up or are you busy hitting the local drive-thru fast food places where you’ll cluster like pack animals, not giving a crap about anyone other than yourselves and when you’re all done with that type of thing, you’ll set off bangs until the sun comes up then go home and give whatever you’ve picked up while out and sleep to hit the beaches the next afternoon?
From my little corner of life, calling this Canada Day is wrong as is July 4th. IT’S OVER! ALL of it is OVER!!!! Give it up. Let others sleep at night and think of others rather than yourselves for a change. Alternatively, think of young people who wind up with Covid because of this shite and healthcare workers who have lives too. They deserve some sleep too lest they let you die. Don’t think it can happen to you? Think again and give up those fireworks, put on your masks or socially distance responsibly.
In watching actress, Heather Locklear say this, I had to sit back and take wonder. “A new person is only new for a day then, they’re just people”. She was saying this to an older daughter who wanted to run and move because of a boy and do so in a way that her mother had done for most of their lives. In other words, they were all used to “running” away from things that they didn’t like and met new people, never settling down anywhere for more than a lease could hold them.
That statement set off alarms in my head and mind. We can all run but, we cannot hide from ourselves.
There’s another statement that’s been made which is older but oh so true. “Wherever I go, there I am”.
In other words, we all have to face up to whatever it is that is our problem or whomever it may be. Running away from ourselves, thoughts, feelings etc., is not an option. It will only bring more problems to us on top of the ones that we already have.
Don’t get me wrong. Moving is a good thing if it’s done with the right intentions in mind. If, for example, you’ve got few, if any people or things around you to stay for and there’s a place that better suits your needs and wants, go for it. In my particular case, I wish to move from where I am because I’m fed up with being part of a big city with tons of congestion, traffic jams wherever I go and while I cannot downsize more than less than 1K square feet, I wish to have at least a powder room on the same floor that I am on. In other words, it’s not downsizing as much as it is that I hope that once this Pandemic isn’t as much of an issue, I will find a home where what I need and want is more or less on the same floor, same area, even if there are bedrooms upstairs. Once a day is better than having to climb stairs for washroom facilities multiple times, right? It’s not that I’m trying to run from myself as much as it is that I’m trying to get a place closer to what I wish it to be.
What would be wrong in a move would be that someone thinks that their problems and issues will all be solved if they change everything or to spite anyone. It never works because wherever you go, your issues and problems go with you. Nobody can run from themselves.
The one reason other than it isn’t what you want or need is because you’re wanting to remove reminders of your past from your life and there is no one left around anymore. That’s reason enough but, remember that the thoughts will go with you no matter what. You will remember them in time. So, do it with the thought in mind that you’re getting a fresh set of surroundings and perhaps, it will help with those thoughts. They will still be there though.
If you’re an estranged parent and, or grandparent, keep in mind too that while people have different ideas of what is a good life and what isn’t, you were a person before you had your child/children and if they have any, they are going to be obliged to keep that in mind as well. Nothing and no one stays around forever as much as we’d love to think that they will. Even neighbours below me and beside them, are and have selling or sold their homes. They are moving and along with them, the memories will go with them. The wife had her parents living beside her for decades and grew up in one home. Hubby had the house next door to them with his parents. When all of the parents died, one of their 3 children bought the home that used to belong to her grandfather and was right next door to her parents. At this point, all of them are selling and moving. Along with them will go their memories of all 3 houses and the lands. People do move on but, they cannot forget their pasts, good, bad or indifferent. There is no indication as to where they all are going or would go but, there are memories that will stick to them like glue.
From my little corner of life to yours, keep in mind that whatever it is that you decide to do, even staying where you are right now, new people become simply people and memories are always with you no matter what you choose to do or not do. Also keep this in your thoughts, there are telephones and emails even during a pandemic. Do whatever it is that is best for you to do but, don’t try to outrun the past. If it hurts now, it will hurt whatever you do.
If it’s not clear by the title, I’m having a hard time believing in any of these YouTubers. They’re all so full of Bull that it’s coming out of their ears. Enter Jada P. Smith and her ramblings (she needs to realize that she’s not the centre of the universe) and you’ve got a bomb that’s gone off. A missile so full of crap that it’s ridiculous even to school girls who are out on a playground.
All of them, including J. Smith have money. None of them are “poor”. Kudos to them for having money but, guess whose wallets that money is coming from? Did you realize that you’ve bought them all mansions, cars, swimming pools, vacations, private jets and whatever else they all have? Did you realize that much? Yes, you’ve heard that correctly. You paid them to have it all. What are you living in or driving while Jeffree rides around in a Tesla and Shane takes a golf cart to his workout shed while ALL of them live in mansions? What’s your home like?
They are all “Hollywood style” in their apologies all except Jada Smith (forget the middle name) who is still busy flapping her gums about being Black and boycotting Oscars with Spike Lee. I have already broken my DVD of Jada’s husband, Will Smith in “The Pursuit of Happyness”. Enough is enough of this “I’m Black” shite. “Gurl” you have more than most of us will ever dream of having for a “Black Woman” and it shows so she can stop the griping, complaining etc.. Her ever changing wardrobe is fed up with her as are store clerks, serving this self-serving Black crying Beyotch. She has more privilege than the waitress or waiter who serves her food on fancy dishes!
As for the rest of them, they’re smaller potatoes but, still worthy of being ignored. None of them are genuine and honestly, you and everyone who buys into the drama are being manipulated by them all.
Have you seen Jeffree’s mansion? How about Shane and Ryland’s? What about Tatie’s or James C’s? They’re all full of it and nothing adds up about Tati’s “apology” to James and put down on Shane and Jeffree while professing undying love for James C. while blaming the other 2 for being coerced into it all.
All of them are so disingenuous and laughing all the way to the bank while someone else goes out to buy them their saline drops for their faked cry and rant sessions that the rest of us who don’t know where our next meal or rent or utility payments are coming from that it’s extremely hard to work up any feelings other than dislike for them all.
They are all out to take from your wallet and have you pay for their luxuries. They all need both mental health help as well as regular jobs. None of them could get work out of the filming industry because there is no way that they could handle being without what they have or have aspired to have. Like has been said earlier in this piece, you are the one paying them to be this way.
From my little corner of life to yours, get over them all. Stop watching them and putting money into their pockets for the bull that they have spread.
Where’s my bottle of saline? I could put on an Academy Award Winning Cry Session too. Oh heck…forget the saline. They would be real tears of anger.
You know that things are coming to a head when crud happens and there’s so much of it that’s not true at all that you simply cannot be bothered to straighten out the many, many untruths in someone else’s minds. It’s not that they aren’t worth another moment’s thoughts but, it’s that one cannot shake the assumptions out of someone else.
If that person runs to several others as you know that they are prone to do and shares these half-baked assumptions about you, with them all behaving like they’ve got their heads stuck in someone else’s rears, then you know that there are simply too many things to deal with and it’s out of your hands. Let it go. Let them all go. It’s not worth it when you’ve got your own things to deal with and they’re so far out of the playing field with all of their bull that you take your ball and walk away.
Assumptions are never or rarely even remotely true. In fact, it’s much like mind reading attempts in order to justify themselves. They’re imagined or dreamt up by others and why bother trying to change their minds on so much that’s wrongly gotten by them? Do they even care what’s going on in your world or life? Do they know or only think that they know? What’s the difference?
When one is so wrapped up with themselves that they assume to know what you’re doing because they’ve got their own slant on life and their own things or themselves, that’s telling you something right there. This isn’t about you or anything that you’ve allegedly done via their imaginations. They don’t care about you. Their ramblings are truly about themselves. If they think that they’re making you feel badly, in a lot of cases, they’re only making you angry. They haven’t solved anything. They’ve only poked a bear or lion and are bound to feel it one day or in some way. If not, they are so self-indulgent to justify their stance on you and with everyone that they can think of that they have painted themselves into a corner. Let them stand there and watch paint dry or walk over the paint, leaving footprints.
Secondly, when one assumes something then spreads that incorrect thinking to others, they’re showing how valuable they consider themselves not you. One plus one doesn’t equal 3 and yet, that’s what they’re trying to sell themselves and others to justify their own self-centered actions, thoughts and moves.
If someone assumes something about you, let them go and assume whatever they want to assume. You know the truth and you know who you are. While no one likes someone upset with them, the reality is that you haven’t lost anyone. Actually, you’ve gained something important and that’s the knowledge that people like this are only into themselves, not you or your life or what may have happened to you or anyone or anything else in your life. Why correct someone or several others in that case? Hope that their imaginations can picture you not wanting to try any longer. You’ve seen through them as they are. Who wants someone who seemingly believes that they have it worse than anyone else when in fact, they don’t. You’ve been through most of what they’ve been through already. That includes deaths, illnesses, yourself having issues and so on. There are far too many things to list but, suffice it to say that people who do this type of thing are not emotionally mature. They are immature and not worthy of another moment of your life or thoughts. Too bad for them because they are the ones who mouthed off and have risked showing others what they’re about.
From my little corner of life to yours, assumptions are like the saying goes…”assuming is making an ass out of you and me”. It’s so true. Never assume that what you see is what there is beneath the surface view and never assume that you know what they are thinking or have been through. They may be surprised but, then again, they really don’t care or they wouldn’t be assuming. They’d be asking.
If I read it correctly or understood the words coming out of some mouths today, I heard the words, “disband” and “defund” policing. That has me scratching my head in wonderment as well as shaking it in total disbelief.
Are there racists in this world and the police force, of course. One can find them anywhere one wishes to look. The issue it seems is that cops are in positions of authority and most have guns. Don’t look now but, 3/4’s of the U.S. population or better, own at least one if not many more guns. Are they all sane? To those who want to banter this point, let’s just say that a good percentage of them are not exactly sane and yet another percentage of that percentage are racist or prejudice or whatever one can come up with. There’s no doubt about those facts. None whatsoever so, don’t bother to try arguing this out. I don’t wish to but, I can pull out stats from non-media sources if one were to try.
On the one hand, I hear something like, “we want the police force re-trained. On the other, I have heard that the force should be defunded or disbanded. How on earth does anyone try to “re-train” while there’s no cops or no money coming in to do so?
Furthermore, who do those who dial 911 or some other ER number does one wish to come to their aid when in trouble, mugged, broken into or property stolen etc.? A civilian with no training, no authority and no gun? If we were to disband or not fund police, getting a civilian to help is not even a thought is it?
Let’s take a scenario (made up or real) where someone of a different race calls for help because someone has broken into their homes. The 911 operator says something like they can only send the fire department or paramedics but, not police as there are none now.
What does one do? Who does one call then? Does one pull out their quickly and easily obtained guns if in the U.S. and play like they’re in the Wild West and are vigilantes? What if the person who breaks into their homes was a person of another race especially, Black? Shooting them and likely killing them will make what certain cops have done as though they’re choir people. A body full of holes from gun shots to the chest, not to mention the walls where one missed entirely?
Does racism exist in this world? Oh yes it does. Is it Whites against Blacks/Browns only? Nope. If you’ve ever been around anyone White, one can see that in this day and age, Whites are more angry than Blacks/Browns about things or “offended” and making apologies for being White. My only question would be then, if these Whites are so upset over Whites, why not stop being White and become another race, especially Black? For those who don’t believe that there’s any racism towards other races especially Whites, try it out for a bit and hear it for yourselves. Prejudices and racism exist in every single faction of life whether it be your weight, your hair colour, your financial status, religion or anything else that one wants to add in here. I’ve said this all before though. It’s not new from me or anyone else for that matter. Heck, ask Hitler? He was White and The Jews he murdered were White. Why did he kill thousands upon thousands of other Whites when he was White himself? It was because of religion and a few other things. If you don’t believe it, look up “The Holocaust”. Talk about “slavery”?
Did you know that there were White Slaves too and, likely still are? Yes, look that up while you’re at it. How about the fact that it was Black Africans that started off the slave trade? If you wish to look at the entire debacle as a financial one where Blacks, Browns or Indigenous peoples needed goods and money, then the world should be against anyone rich, like politicians who shall remain nameless lest anyone thinks that I’m talking politics here. I’m not. That’s not the debate that I was speaking of in any way. It’s the wealthy in all curves and crannies of Life that I’m referring to here. Why not go after them too?
This is a bandwagon that people have leapt upon. Yes, it needs fixing but, just as not all hairdressers are bad or doctors or whatever floor or bathroom cleaner one can come up with, not all cops are bad either.
From my little corner of life to yours, don’t follow trends or fads because there’s nothing to do due to a Pandemic. Whether you believe that it exists or not, is government funded or whatever you’ve swallowed, while it’s healthy to question things, what has proven not healthy are things like not social distancing or wearing masks, protests or Whites who will apologize for other White peoples. I’m NOT saying that policing doesn’t need a face lift nor, am I saying that it doesn’t contain racism but, lest anyone think that there’s little that exist in this world other than Blacks against Whites and you’re still saying that you’re sorry to 20 something year olds who have long since by-passed slavery by some 400 years or so, think with your heads, please. That is, if you have them. Question first, react secondly.
By the way, in case you’re tempted to call me stupid or racist or whatever it is that you can dream up, think again.
It’s been said by a White Celebrity that they are going to “puke” if they hear that “All Lives Matter” once again. Ok, they can puke but, it’s the truth. All lives do matter.
The analogy of a bandage was used in one example where it was stated that the bandage was to be given to the friend because the friend was in pain. NO POLICE ACTIONS or lack of them are being tooted here or gone against no matter what is thought or not.
Isn’t racism being wrought by Blacks when they go against entire police forces and put together a group called “Black Lives Matter”? Isn’t that also a form of segregation or racist moves/meanings?
There have been all sorts of people who have had nothing better but to get their rears to protests against police officers with Covid be damned but, the truth behind it all is that these same protesters are the ones who will call police at the first sign of there being a problem anywhere in their worlds. Are there bad apples in the police force, of course there are but, I’ve also been to hairdressers for a hair cut to find that they have no clue what they’re doing. There have been lawyers, doctors, dentists and every profession or not, known throughout history that have been or had employees who haven’t known their rear ends from page 4. Their skin colour has been of no consequence to this point. However, think of a fast food place where the clerk, white, black, purple with pink polka dots have not known what they’re doing either. How many times have you or anyone else gotten your orders wrong? Were they good employees or not right for the job to be soft in how it’s being said?
Then, we have those who think that there’s a band wagon to leap onto and they do.
It’s certain that this piece isn’t going to be a popular one. Part of that is purely because of its title. “All Lives Matter”. It’s certain that there are negative comments coming for this piece simply because of what it contains. Let’s call a rock a rock though. Police lives matter too as do everyone’s lives. No one, no matter what others think or say, have lives that don’t matter to someone, somewhere, somehow. No one! That’s not popular according to some but, it’s the reality.
Does anyone know why police are more forceful with certain skin colours? It’s certain that there is some form of lack of full training without doubt however, they are not psychologists, psychiatrists nor are they therapists. Those professions have their fair share of bad apples too but, the funding for them has been cut so badly that there aren’t many out there. More key is who is going to make the call of mental health problem or problem? Last I checked, there were no police officers who had “ride alongs” with psyche trained people. Even if there were those along or trained in psychiatric, psychology or other training along with them, facilities for mental health have been so underfunded that they’ve had to close down. This isn’t exactly tantalizing to those who wanted to go into the profession, is it? Worst is that people will use ER numbers to police because of a mental health issue, domestic violence or what have you. What type of adrenalin and other stimulating chemicals may be running wild through the arteries and brains of every single person involved from the call through to those who respond? Those who have been labelled as say, “schizophrenics” may go ape on someone who comes or already going crazy before they get there and thus, the call for them. How do the responders know what they’ve facing? It’s their lives versus the suspect’s life. Whose life, especially if there’s a file or rap sheet on them do you think police are going to protect with instinct? It’s not going to be a matter of “oh, he/she is of (fill in the blanks) race or colour…I’d better be gentle on them and perhaps, die myself” is it? Or, would you put your life on the line because of skin colour? Be honest here with your answer.
I’ve heard one nurse of another race say that because someone is of a certain race, they die during a Pandemic. Is that the truth? Do doctors and nurses not value certain races while they run to others? Or, is it fear, overwork, not knowing what to do about the situation or even their own lives at stake or those of their families? What do you think? Be honest with yourself in answering that one.
How many people of another race does anyone see in the front line workers, police, fire, paramedics and about anything one can think of? If anyone were to answer it’s that they’re not being hired because of racism, they’d be incorrect in that assumption. A good chunk of that reasoning is because certain skin colours/races do NOT WANT to go into those professions. They’d rather settle things their own way with guns, knives and such or if they’re cautious enough, drive their shot, stabbed or injured buddies to the ER doors of a hospital, roll them out and take off. Lest anyone thinks that it’s because they’re afraid of rough treatment or questioning, think again. A lot of that type of thing has to do with getting “revenge” their styles. They’re off to set examples of themselves by shooting, stabbing or whatever they think of doing.
Painting anyone of any race, creed, religion, financial, weight or colour with a halo over their heads is akin to saying that their criminal records (which often read like a bad novel) don’t count. Mothers, fathers, wives, girlfriends, friends, cousins, aunts and uncles, getting on camera and crying about their losses and saying that they were “good” or a “father/mother” doesn’t wipe away the fact that they were going against the laws at every turn of the page. They weren’t “good”. The halos had long since been removed by their choices, drugs, alcohol or criminal records by them, themselves and, we’re not just talking about the Black Communities here. We’re talking about everything that can be discriminated against including financial status, weight, profession/job, lot in life, where they live, how they live, clothing, where they shop and so much more. Do you believe every single family member’s cries? Half of them haven’t been around that person for years because of their own issues with them.
Has anyone seen those who have sold illegal drugs, weapons, stolen goods or whatever? Police catch them, put them into a holding cell, charge them and WHAM…those same persons are back onto the streets again within 48 hours or less, doing the exact things that they were arrested for? It’s like you chasing after a job, doing your best while doing it and being fired from it so that the company has a better profit margin. Wouldn’t you be a little bit ticked off at your job being eliminated while Jane or Joe get extra pay to do your job or worse, someone else gets hired to do it at a lower pay scale? It’s like you saying something like, “all that hard work for NOTHING?”
How about hearing swearing, cursing, resisting or taunting police or anyone else in authority, then hearing that they’re “not co-operating”? Many of us have faced anger, conflict, upset and fear and frankly, those in authority are simply humans who have nerves too, complete with the fight or flight adrenalin coursing through their veins with pretty much every call they get in a day, risking their lives regularly, on heaven knows what is going to happen during even a barking dog call?
911 Operator: What’s your emergency
You: There’s a dog who has been barking nightly between 10 p.m. and 4 a.m.. It’s
2 a.m. and I want it shut up or taken in or paid attention to. I don’t need this
Police: (Knocking on door of house with barking dog in backyard. Person answers)
“We’ve had a complaint about a barking dog in your backyard. Is that your dog?” You: Oh yeah…I got fed up with it so, I put it outside. It’s the only way I can get some sleep. Why? Who complained?
Police: That’s not your concern and we can’t divulge that information. Sir/Madam can you take your dog in please by 11 p.m.? You: But, I told you, I can’t sleep if it’s inside. What the f**k don’t you understand about that? Police: It isn’t our concern as it’s your dog but, it bothers others so, please take it indoors, stop it from bothering others, ok?
You: No, YOU take that thing. I told you that I can’t get sleep with it indoors.
Police: Do you mean to tell us that you’re not going to take that dog indoors? That’s against By-Laws.
You: Look you F**king Idiots…I’ve said all that I’m going to say now go away.
Police: Looks like we’re going to have to take the dog to the shelter then. (Starting around the back of the property)
You: Don’t you take my dog!
Police: We’re taking him now, back up, please.
You: I said that you’re NOT TAKING MY DOG you F**king jerks! (Tries to stop police from getting into backyard)
Police: Please move out of the way and let us do our jobs. If you’re not going to take care of this, we are and can.
You: (Fighting Officers and swearing)
Police: (Now, hearts pounding, adrenalin pumping, trying to subdue the situation but, unable to do so)
Eventually, all everything gets out of hand. The dog owner is angry at police and police are now in a scuffle with this dog owner, adrenalin pumping when the dog owner grabs an officer’s holstered gun and aims it at one of them, threatening to shoot him.
Without an ending, who do you believe was wrong and who do you believe was right? Is there a rational answer to this situation and how did it turn from a barking dog call into a violent issue? Think about your answers please because I knew a police officer that these “simple calls” happened to.
Police aren’t being defended here, in spite of what is thought. Think whatever you wish, twist and turn these words but, ask anyone in charge of hiring someone and see a slew of applicants coming through those doors during interview times.
Let’s take the examples that have been talked about before.
Only 2 of them have both experience as well as training and there is no time to train anyone fully.
2 of those a slumping in a chair, twisting their hair, looking at you and the job on offer with total disregard.
1 looks as though they had rolled out of bed and couldn’t be bothered to even comb their hair to go to the interview.
Another, according to the stains down their shirts, as though they’ve eaten some pretty messy stuff, dropped it downwards and haven’t bothered to even change to a less stained shirt.
Yet someone else or a few others have crumpled pieces of napkin, smudged where they’ve had something to eat, wiped their mouths (somewhat it seems) and fingers then, quickly had written down what appeared to be a resume but, one can’t tell because the grease from whatever was eaten has smeared the ink so badly that one can’t read it.
Meanwhile several others sit up straight, show a keen interest in the job, have training or experience or both. Have resumes ready, particularly with contacts even if it was only personal contacts for some.
Now, who do you think would be hired? Who would YOU hire, why and what skin colour do you think should make the job hiring process or at the least, deserve a 2nd interview?
From my little corner of life to yours, there are sorts of situations that come up in this world. Cell phone videos usually only start where the action of the police officer takes place. Other video doesn’t necessarily capture the entire situation or the audio portions. It only captures actions not words. Before anyone goes leaping into an emotionally charged situation, make sure that you’re not taking the video, words or rally cries from either side seriously. Do your own investigation first and remember that while a Pandemic is happening with nowhere much to go or do, there’s a lot of angst and even depression. Were Life to be going on as normal, so would a lot of other things. What the news and other media don’t show are other sides. It’s what sells air time most and violence sells it. Take into consideration that there are really 3 sides to every story. There’s one side, the other and then, there’s reality/the truth. Don’t be the one who doesn’t do the research but, who sees one side or the other first. You may find that the “truth” isn’t one that you’ll like as emotions as well as trends do have a way of getting in the way especially while emotions are running high but, take into consideration that there are other ways of looking at things.
(And, by the way, if America does have a Police Brutality issue….America isn’t all that “great” is it?)
It’s been an interest of mine as to why people do the things that they do. Most of it comes through their own imagined issues with someone else, several others and, or through or with someone else’s help. In other words, they see what they want to see instead of what’s really there and what suits them most.
The question of “why” things happen or people reacting as they do or don’t rarely has a direct answer. Most of that is because it’s been rehearsed in their heads and minds as to what something or someone should be like. More often than not, it’s done according to what they believe that they should have happen or not. In other words, they’re written their own scripts for everyone around them and heaven help them if things don’t go according to what they expect or in spite of someone having told them that they weren’t going to do something. That person may have stuck to their word and the other person didn’t like it so, there was excuse after excuse made up in their minds as to why. It all matched their internal stories. It had to otherwise, they couldn’t justify it.
Do not write something to someone and expect that it’s going to make a world of difference. It’s not. Actually, it may do completely the opposite to what you’ve intended it to do.
Did that get said strongly enough? I hope that it did because the written word when trying to either scold someone or explain why something happened or didn’t happen, can lead to more and more anger. If someone is truly wanting to repair something, a good old fashioned phone call or face-to-face with that person may be what is required. Words in writing can be taken in a totally different light because voice intonations, explanations instantly cannot be written out. It doesn’t work that way and gives the other person time to dissect what you’ve said or someone else has said in their own time and way. Remember that people get upset by even putting in emoticons or “LOL’s” or whatever other ways that you can think up of doing or trying. It also gives that person the leeway to read it as they want to read it. Some things cannot be repaired but, to try via the written word…nope. It rarely even comes close to helping. Use that cell phone to truly make a call with. That’s why they call it a phone believe it or not.
If inflammatory words or phrasing are used, forget it. You’ve lost that battle right there.
In using inflammatory words or phrasings, you’ve effectively lost right there. If you were expecting that person or people to react in a favourable way, you have likely driven nails into that scenario and can kiss that person(s) goodbye. The written word or even that spoken cannot be taken back and once it’s been heard, it’s been heard or read. All of your talking or all of theirs, isn’t going to change your mind or theirs to a better station, is it? It’s only going to incite the issue right there and then.
There’s only so much understanding that anyone can do
At a certain point, there are only so many times that someone can ask you or hope for you or anyone else for that matter, to understand. Their minds go blank and so does yours. That’s especially true, if it’s said in words over a screen or on paper. One can only take so much before they blow up, get angry and stop trying to comprehend what may be going through yours or anyone else’s minds. Eventually, people will stop trying to understand and won’t attempt anything further. They can’t do it. There’s only so long that someone can understand and then, it’s over and done with. Don’t expect that anyone will endlessly try to understand the “why” behind anything.
People aren’t stupid or fools
If anyone thinks that other people are stupid or that their way is the only way, their thoughts are the right ones, they may need to think again. Other people have lives, troubles, issues and so-on. The world doesn’t revolve around one person forever, even if they’ve consistently been able to get their way or get by in Life with excuses. Pathetically and sadly, other people have ills as well. They’re not the only ones who have something nor, will they be the last person to have it either. It doesn’t matter what one can think of to call out or cry out with, the thing is that other people are not ignorant and can see through guises, excuses, reasoning and everything else that one can think of.
If someone is constantly saying “yes” to things, doing for you etc., it could be that they are getting something out of the relationship but, it doesn’t mean that it will always be the case. Putting up with something because it’s always been that way, doesn’t mean that it all hasn’t been seen through. People have minds and thoughts too and if anyone were to think of them as “fools” one would have to also ask themselves how foolish they’re being for thinking that they are right and others are stupid.
Wishing someone else ill will is akin to being stupid. STOP!
Most people don’t wish others bad luck or illness or what have you. However, there are times when people get angry at something (usually their own wants or needs) and think that the world and everyone in it should be at their feet, begging to do their bidding. Wishing anyone ill will other than in a momentary state of anger then, taking it back again with an “I didn’t mean it that way” is the same as being stupid.
There WILL come a day when those who have thought that the world revolves just for them, regret that thought
Try it for yourself. Go ahead and think of someone that you’ve taken for granted because they’ve always just been there, doing for you. Now, think of bad words that have been spoken by that person followed by a walk-off. Does one stand there, waiting for that person to return to continue doing for them? Only if that person has no regard for themselves or their own lives or, has defined who they are by what they’ve done for that person who has insulted and walked off.
While it’s ok to accept a slap or two in the face as we all do, once someone has given the ultimate slap, it’s time for the recipient of those slaps to move forward. Staying to take more and more of the same or waiting for them in the same spot does no good for them or that other person. There’s a point at which things have gone way too far to be accepted any longer and that’s a signal that it’s not in anyone’s best interests to continue standing there, waiting for more. It also means that once someone has taken and taken, they are likely not going to be around when needed or wanted. There are price tags attached to every choice or decision that gets made no matter how correct one may believe that they are. Carried on for too long and under certain circumstances, they may turn around only to find no one behind them or doing their bidding for them anymore. What then?
Who made that person a “god”?
We are all only human. Each one of us has flaws, faults and warts but, the biggest one is to bite the hand that’s fed you no matter how right one may feel that they are. It’s an illusion. No one owes it to anyone else to stay and take the flying garbage that gets tossed in their faces. If there’s truly something to atone for, then do it. If not, that person is not a “god”. They are fallible human beings too and not “gods”. They will have Life’s curve balls thrown at them too. If they believe that it’s already happened and no one else but them knows what it feels like, they need to think again. They are not “gods” and no one can be around taking their flack, crap, imagined and scripts forever. It’s time that they learned that much but, it’s also time that everyone else learned that as well.
Are their “ideals” worth it?
Really stop and think about this one carefully. Is or are the people that you’re pining over, setting out ideals that are self-intentioned? If so, then there is only one answer that be come up with.
If they truly believe their own agendas or someone else’s stories, then they are the foolish ones.
Fighting others for what is believed to be their own ideals will change over the years, days, weeks, months or whatever. No one’s ideals stay the same unless they will not give them up and even then, Life has a way as do others in Life, of getting others to change their stances on things. What was once believed may become a non-issue further on down the road or, Life will cause it to be less important than once believed by those who believe it to be real.
Stupidly, if the idealists were caused to have to let go of their ideals, price tags attached as we all know that there will be in one way or another, they should not be able to return to Life or us as they once did. Things don’t work that way. Therefore, it’s only fitting to ask someone if their ideals were worth it all. If they truly believe that they were, then you or I or anyone else couldn’t have changed that in them. If, on the other hand, they realized that hanging onto that ideal wasn’t for them and wasn’t meant to be forever as most things aren’t, they are going to have a hard time if others that they had previously relied upon had found their own lives and moved on.
When in doubt, ask but, if you’re getting answers that don’t make sense to you or no answers at all, there are likely reasons for that feeling
If you’ve asked why something has happened and are getting what you can see as answers that tend to go towards other’s needs or wants or, you get vague answers or responses, or even harsh ones, it’s time to accept that there are people who believe in their own needs and will justify it in one way or another. A lot of that reasoning is concocted rather than being real however, they haven’t even given you or anyone else a chance have they? Their own imaginations or belief in those who have done it for them and justification for their actions or lack of them will do it for them.
If you’re getting the sense that someone else has come up with false reasonings to justify something or you’re simply getting vague answers, either someone else is helping them because it can be done and they’re willing or, they want what they want. You nor anyone else is going to change that in them. It has to be up to them. If they never see it, are you not better off in getting yourself and your own life into order, leaving these moronic actions and thoughts in someone alone?
From my little corner of life to yours, if you are taking slaps in the face by someone, either they have an imagined and created version of things in their own minds, their own agendas in mind and held close to their vests or, they aren’t as interested as one would hope that they’d be given all that you’ve tried or not tried. It’s time to focus more on your own life and issues than theirs. In other words…time to move on.
Don’t get me wrong. I couldn’t stomach watching George Floyd’s death on video. It was horrendous to say the least but, the videos don’t show what happened BEFORE these videos started. While some people will say that other videos got time and will get time in court, all that people saw was the video shot on cell phones and were disgusted, me included. Before everyone goes leaping onto the soap box or protests though, not making what Chauvin did right by any means, think about what Black people have done for you, personally.
There may be some people who can say that they have had things done for them by Black peoples. To that, I say, “Kudos! You have a friendship going. Keep it up and do for them as they’ve done for you.”
If you’ve been like many though, again, not that it justifies actions by cops in certain cases but, on the whole, there are less Black people who haven’t used other races for what they’ve wanted or needed. If you believe that to be wrong, think about Black people who are far better off financially than you are and still, cry “poverty”. It’s also a trend for young black men, stereos blaring, tinted windows, gold coloured jewelry or a certain type of clothing, swag and clothing to say something like, “I have been pulled over just because I’m Black”. While some of that is true and there are dirty cops out there for sure, there are a few things that also need to be taken into consideration first as well.
Not only have I had extensive experiences with Black Folk but, I’ve done business with them as well both as a merchant and as a person who hired people. What I can tell you is that racism exists in every race in Life. If anyone were to think that racism only goes one way, think again. The “downtrodden” of Life are as racist as any other race of peoples. Have you ever been called a “Mangia Cake” by an Italian person? What about thinking that all people of a certain ethnic or religious background have problems in the kitchen, cleaning or rearing their children? How is that every “Canadian” for example except of course from that particular background, spends their entire pay on beer and Kraft Dinner? How about Catholics who believe that all non-Catholics are somehow flawed, wrong and not at all religious because they don’t attend “mass” once or twice or several times a week nor, have they seen the inside of a “confessional”? Let’s not even get into “Born Again Christians” types who seem to believe that caffeine is wrong so they won’t even look at anyone who goes in to grab a coffee or regular tea? We also have people who are of the “Jehovah’s Witnesses” who will come to your front door, try to indoctrinate you but, if you say, “no” they will turn on you, damning you to Hell because theirs in the only way to “God”? The list is endless and we haven’t even talked about weight, finances or anything else. Heaven forbid that you’re above a certain weight, not Vegan or Vegetarian!
My father married a Black Jamaican Woman several years after my mother passed away when I was 29 years of age and my mother only 54 years old. This woman was onto Husband #3 with my father. She had 2 previous marriages with 4 children. Two were from the first husband who was Black and the second 2 were from a White man. One of her daughters was ousted by her own mother because her mother claimed that she was using the second husband for sex. Nothing could have been further from the truth as it was later proven. Guess what? She also had a “Black Maid” even though my father didn’t have a pot to pee in. I used to be there and let that poor woman who was in her 60’s at that point, take a break with a tea or whatever she wished while I got down on my hands and knees and scrubbed the oven or floor or whatever so that she could have a rest. Guess why this Black Woman that my father married, had a Black Maid? Can you think of a reason? It was STATUS to be Black and have a Black Maid…especially, if she was an older woman. My father was a “Token White Man” to have on her arm at gatherings with other Black Peoples. When my father died of cancer at the ripe old age of 66 years of age, this woman did NOT show up for his funeral. The day AFTER my father’s burial, she moved into the house that my father and 2 brothers built for her with Husband #4. I also heard a lot from her and about her before and after my father’s death. Let’s just say that she was as racist as they get or come.
Fast forward to me having a shop where Blacks were wearing the exact same merchandise that my business partner had in her section of the store (I took photos, manipulating them and pressing them onto t-shirts while my partner sold Hip Hop jewelry and other things that were Black wanted). They had paid anywhere from $5 to $10 MORE for it. When asked why they’d do that so that we could advertise more or change something, we were told outright…”it’s because you’re White”. Yet, we had our windows broken, frames of windows busted out and we’re unsure how they did it to this day, thefts and yes, I was even held at gun and knife points while they stole from us. I got out. I valued my life. Drugs were being sold everywhere else along that strip and even up alley ways by Black store owners and dealers. That, again is just the tip of the iceberg. Lots like spitting into our store without us even knowing them and protesting that we were White was done around us.
In between that, I was in charge of hiring people to fill positions. Please tell me what you would have done in these circumstances.
I had Whites with both experience and the training apply. There were Asians with and without training and experience. We had Native or Indigenous peoples as well as every race under the sun. Then, we had Blacks who walked in with no experience, no training, no enthusiasm and sat slumped in the chairs, filing nails or asking to use the phone to let their friends know that they’d be later than expected for their meals. Who do you think that you’d hire? I chose people with at least some enthusiasm for learning and who tried. When people didn’t get the job, especially those who were Black, I was called a “racist”. I didn’t even see colour. What I did see was who fit the job better and that’s who I chose. They were all sorts of races by the way.
So, before we go believing everything that there is out there about Blacks, change up street names or towns or cities etc., let’s take a moment to reflect that while a smaller population of N. America and there is racism amongst institutions such as police, there are both good and bad apples in every single faction of the world’s jobs. Even a hairstylist can be bad. We all know mechanics or vets or grocery store clerks aren’t wonderful at their jobs. So, does it stand to reason that every cop is going to be great too? Why would anyone expect that of them? More key here is why would anyone believe that there wouldn’t be “bad apples” in the police force too?
If you think about it, how many people of any race want to put their lives on the line every single day, be lied to and so much more? Not as many as what one thinks, especially the Black population who have less want to do anything of authority and have racism within that portion of race as well towards Latinos, Chinese and everything in between. That’s not surprising either when the pay is low but, it’s akin in a sense to boycotting these professions. Why not have more Black people representing that race amongst those professions that they are against or cry out racism against. Lest you believe that it’s because of racism that they don’t try or don’t get in, think again. Speak to anyone in both the police academy as well as other professions such as fire fighters or paramedics. You’ll find that a lot of them never have or will apply for such positions and it has NOTHING to do with economics. It’s all about the fact that they simply don’t want to do it more than anything else you could come up with. Don’t believe me, try asking a profession’s members and while you’re at it, the schools. They will tell you.
From my little corner of life to yours, I see what that police officer and his cronies did to George Floyd as horrific. It never should have happened but, like a friend of mine who was a Criminal Attorney said, “they’re all innocent”. Yes, they’re all choir boys and women. None of them, in spite of lengthy criminal records, having just committed a crime or about to (ie: driving while high) do, they’re “good people”. They all have halos painted on top of their heads. Every life matters so, being high, drunk or whatever doesn’t stop other lives from going or being lost.
So, while I know that this piece is not going to be taken without anger, I wish to know, what has a person of colour done for you that you haven’t paid back in some way or another or perhaps, many times over. Not all are bad but, how many Black males and females who tow the law, do you believe really are stopped just because they are Black? By the way, as one last point before this turns into a novel, what would anyone of any race think when they see someone of any colour coming down the street, eyeing your home or car think when they’re wearing hoodies, hood up and puffy vests, walking with a swag or driving around with tinted windows and stereos blaring in 90 degree F weather think? It’s ok? It’s just the way that they dress? It’s their economic situation? What? What do you think when that happens and we’ve all had it happen to us if we’ve watched and paid any attention to others.
On that negative note at this time, be well, stay well, social distance and….
There’s nothing that I shiver about seeing more than someone who believes that everything should be and is about them. More to that point is someone who is able to make others believe that about them as well, even if they have to pull out the stops by attempting to get people to feel sorry for them because of some sort of issue that doesn’t hold water if anyone were to truly listen to them. What’s far worse is that people like this, generally have everything and everyone under their thumbs and oftentimes, they feel that their own beliefs are going to be felt and agreed with by everyone else. Surprise! Not so.
It’s possible to get someone in as part of your life and become so caught up with them because they sound so convincing that one tends to agree with what they’re saying or doing. After all, it’s been repeated to almost everyone who will listen to them. The one or two exceptions are those who are already on the verge of leaving or who keep their distances due to being fed up with the crap that comes up over and over and over again.
Cries of illness (not really an illness but, I will explain in a moment), wails of those who say that something unusual is happening when it’s happened to possibly most people, and worst of all, telling others that they are wrong because these people lack no ability whatsoever to see that they are nowhere near what someone else has gone through will tell you or anyone else who cares to discern for themselves that this person is controlling and manipulative. In other words, they aren’t entitled to anyone’s dedication to them. They are purely out to be a party of one as long as everyone else goes along with them on their needs, wants and purposes.
When someone claims that they have something wrong with them and say that it’s been happening for “X” amount of time as their reason for something or other but, you’ve deduced that by their own words, that something that they’ve had wrong with them, hasn’t accounted for more than half a year of inaction by them, that is telling you something right there and should be peaking your interest in debunking a lot of other things that they’re saying or have said as well.
Recently, such a person came out of the closet and it was plain for all to see that everything that was said or done by them was a) an excuse to not have to do something, b) were things that a lot of other people have or are going through and therefore, not unique or an excuse as in example (a) or that the story had been told to everyone and anyone who would listen to them. Anyone believing it or appearing to, was dependent upon them even those who have had the wool pulled over their eyes in many ways and have allowed it to happen because they were falsely lured into the idea that they may need something from that person.
Oh yes, they can be charming alright. They will also be eloquent or charming. In other words, they know how to work other people and trust me, they do. Where they get caught by a few is by getting angry and blurbing it all out. That’s when a thinking person can see clearly that it’s not about you but, about them and they will make it that way as well.
Inconsistencies, the “ohhhhh’s” and everything else that they can throw into the mix, including outright banning of you is what they will use. Is that right? No, but, they think that it is. They also think that they’re getting an upper hand when in fact they have done nothing good for themselves, which is what they make themselves believe they don’t care about, but, others who see through it all, have no interest whatsoever.
Pathetically, what they don’t see is that they have effectively thrown away anyone who has seen their tact for what it is and them for what they are. Even more sadly is that those who have fallen for the ruse that these people wittingly or unwittingly have put on, go along with it all until they, themselves no longer need or want the stories that gets shot by this person.
Usually, there is anger within these types of people who believe that the sun rises and sets for them or who tries to get others to believe it as well. They are usually angry at others who don’t or won’t fall for their games, even if that person is only keeping their word out of too much and quite unnecessary regard for that person. That person has enough regard for themselves and needs no help or aid. “Stupid me!” That’s usually what gets said when the royal crap hits the fan and it’s seen by others.
It’s easy to label someone like this as a narcissist. Unless a doctor were to diagnose that impediment upon someone, it’s not going to be used here. However, it can be said that when a lot of excuses are used in anger, there’s something laying behind it all that says, “it’s all about me!”
From my little corner of life to yours, if you see or recognize someone like this, run from them. They are up to no good and the moment that you’re of no use to this person, you’re gone anyway. Perhaps, it’s time to ask yourself who in your life is like this and act on it by shutting them out of your life? Just a thought.
There’s a lot going on in this world today that we’re all either mad, depressed or upset at. It’s natural and normal to be in a not-so-great mental status. However, if you’re wondering if you have any worth in being here (ie: suicide or self-harm), not only do you and anyone else who feels that way, need counselling big time but, we all need to give our heads a shake and a good one at that.
With our own problems on top of world problems, most, if not all of us, are wondering what it is that we can do when the entire world seems to be driving us insane along with our own issues. No one is without issues. There’s not a single person on this planet who doesn’t have them, not even birds, squirrels, raccoons and whatever else one can name. Everyone has them. Top that off with the idea that the world is filled with problems and everyone except the young who have had their hampster die on them at worst, can understand why it is that more advanced people take things in so deeply. Sadly, if they live long enough (knock on wood they will), their time is coming when they’ll understand at least some of this.
Yes, I know that some think that it can’t happen to them because they have unlimited data and the latest cell phone or technology but, we all know that it can. Equally, I know that they feel that they are far more knowledgeable than people of more advanced ages and therefore, they know how to handle everything that comes their way. If they have Life come down on them, they will use what they’ve learned via information gleaned off the net. If that doesn’t work, alcohol or drugs will help as well as possibly knives, guns or a vehicle. One way or the other, they figure that they have control over everything. Someone please share with them what doesn’t work. Ok, well, you or others have tried to no avail, right?
Really, this is where things get really mixed up.
People who have been through things try to tell these people what their lives have been like but, it does no good. Why? Because these types of humans have already written a “script” out for themselves, based upon someone else’s experiences. It doesn’t matter if it’s from their own minds and worlds, someone on the net, trying to sell them a book, a therapist who may mean well but, who’s selling sessions or some info off of the information highway and is full of either conspiracy theories or bunk. Their minds are made up and you nor I or anyone is going to change that mindset that they’ve gotten in one way or another. It is what it is and those who think or believe that they have it all together, will find out sooner or later that the best made plans of mice and men go astray.
What then? They’ve dumped everyone else who could have helped or given their opinion so, who do they turn to? Others like them who haven’t experienced what they are going through? What kind of answer do you think is going to be given out by them? “Oh geeze (cursing and swearing aside), I don’t know what to tell you. Take some vitamins or something and here’s some weed or alcohol. That’ll make it all better.”
Life has an odd way of tossing in some nasty monkey wrenches into the mix which can upset the best laid plans, right? We know this but, do they? Will they?
The answer to this is an absolute “yes” but, these types of adults seem to believe that they have it all covered. It’s all so “easy” in their world and minds. They don’t need anyone to help them because they know exactly what they’re going to do about everything and if they don’t, there’s a cell phone in their hand or a tablet which only takes a moment or two to do a search and come up with the ideas on how best to handle it, right?
If worse comes to worst, they will seek out a therapist usually around their ages who know best. Oh, you mean that they don’t know it all? They are people too and only hearing one side of the story before they utter, “time’s up”.
What about the ones who wasted all of the time that they had with those who have been through it and know more than they are given credit for knowing? What about the people who cut off their noses to spite their faces so to speak and realize later on that they should have at the least, realized who had their backs but, it’s too late as they’ve gone elsewhere or aren’t mentally available. There’s no going back on that point. It’s far too late.
It’s better to be alone than to have someone around who doesn’t care to be there or who believes that they’re ok because they have A, B and C around them. Wait until they have no one who cares about them around, including A and B, maybe even C.
My father-in-law was a total stickler for doing “the right thing”. He called people Mr. or Mrs.. He went to every single wedding or gathering that he was invited to (which amounted to every thing that went on, whether he knew them well or not as that was what he was told he had to do). Church was paramount as was volunteering within his European Community. In other words, he was “covered” right? Not so. In later years, people forgot about him or didn’t want him around. Even one of his offspring didn’t care for him or anything about him unless there was something in it for him. That was in spite of hundreds of thousands of dollars given to this offspring as well as a year’s living in my father-in-law’s house. In between, this specific person has their life torn apart and it’s about to get more dicey as time goes along and other things are taken from him as well. I digress though because my father-in-law was all but forgotten by so many people that come a time when he was being moved into a care home (he wouldn’t allow anyone into his home to care for him so, what the heck were we going to do with him), no one in that home that he’d volunteered for in over 20 years or more, even knew him or bothered with him. He passed on within 3 weeks of being there in spite of our nearly daily visits that he didn’t remember us having done and an extra care giver that we had hired for the daytime. We took over evenings for the most part. In other words, no one saw this coming, not even him and yet, he’d done everything “right” in his mind and demanded that everyone else do the same things.
My mother died when she was 54 years of age, my father at 66 years of age, my brother at 53 years of age. There are still days when I wish that I could have picked up the phone and called one of them, seen them or asked for their advice or opinion on things. Even if I didn’t think that it fit, something is to be said for being able to ‘bounce’ something off of someone else. That wasn’t to be and none of them saw their lives going in the directions that they went either. No one did. Life is unpredictable and most of us know that much. Conspiracy theorists, those taking psychedelic drugs or anyone who believes that they are invincible, can go on believing that script. We all know that it doesn’t work that way, does it? A lot of the theorist or those of drug usage have died unexpectedly or expectedly. Not many have survived in spite of their alleged vast amounts of knowledge or wisdom. That’s because Life does hand out some fairly bad tosses. Sadly and pathetically, it will throw them the something at one point or another that the net or someone else can’t solve for them.
From my little corner of life to yours, if you’re stumbling about, trying to make heads or tails out of things or, worse, asking yourself “why”…stop doing it. That script has already been written and ingrained in minds. Whether we see it or we don’t, those who have these internal scripts written and refuse to believe anything that you say or do, won’t hear you or see you trying. Give it up. Live your life because trying only leads to more and more heartache. It’s better to be alone than with people who “know it all” while bowing to them, right? Nothing you say is being heard. They know better.