Choose Carefully


Looking at this photo of Whitney Houston’s daughter, Bobbi Kristina Brown, 18, being taken to hospital after learning of her mother’s sudden death, shakes me to the core.  It’s hard not to empathize with this young woman in the shock that she must have felt in receiving the crushing news that her young and vivacious mother had passed away so unexpectedly and suddenly.

From what has been reported thus far today under leaked reports, allegedly, Houston was found face down, having drowned in the bathtub of her hotel room.  Bottles of prescription sedatives were found amongst her belongings and it has been reported that Houston had partied heavily the evening before, drinking alcohol extensively.

Her eighteen year old daughter, Bobbi had reportedly, also been drinking at the time of her being rushed to hospital.  It’s questionable at this point in time as to whether she was already drinking or whether she had begun to drink upon hearing the devastating news.

Having lived with alcoholics throughout my young life, I learned early on that other people’s choices affect us in one way or another, intended or not.   It’s one thing for someone to say that it’s “their life and they can do what they want with it” but, it’s another to recognize the reality behind that statement.  Nothing we do, has no effect on someone else unless we are living in a cave, alone.

I remember many a night in my childhood where I’d pick my mother up off of the floor after having drank herself into a stupor.  Her choices did affect my life, whether she intended them to or not.  I remember begging and pleading with her, doing everything within my limited powers as a child and teenager, to coax her into getting help to quit her drinking.  The answer was always, “It’s my life and I’m going to do what I want with it!”  The problem was, in her having her right to do what she wanted with her life, those choices took my rights away to have a decent home life and some peace.  It created responsibilities for me that never should have been mine at such a young age.

I made a conscious choice to seek out help for myself in order to never become an alcoholic and put any future children that I had through the type of life that I lived as a child.  I raised a child and gave her every freedom to be a child, without the types of responsibilities that I had endured.  She was offered every support and possible opportunity that my husband and myself could possibly give her.  Very unfortunately, she made her own choices in her life to move out with a drug abuser loser who has suckered her into his web of lies, manipulation and deceit.  She now uses as well and has chosen to have nothing to do with us because of those choices.  Once again, someone else whom I love with all of my soul has made choices that have affected me greatly and deeply on many levels.  In that aspect of Life, I have been affected deeply and hurtfully by the choices of two people I have loved and cared about deeply.  There are wounds that may never heal left behind.

When I look at Whitney Houston and her daughter, Bobbi, it strikes me that when we bring a child into this world, we have the responsibility to make choices that are in that child’s best interests.  Our choices do affect others who love us and depend upon us, whether we like that fact or not.  Sadly, Bobbi will now have to live with her mother’s choices for the rest of her life.  There will be scars and there will also be choices that she will have to make for herself as a result.  It has become the domino effect.  Bobbi will now have to decide whether she will choose to follow in her mother’s footsteps and allow addictions to rule her life or, whether she will seek out proper help and refuse to go down the same path.  Early indications appear to be that she is already on a similar path as her famous mother.

No matter what we feel our rights are, our choices will affect someone else who loves us if we aren’t carefully choosing our paths in this life.  We owe it to not only ourselves but, also to those who love us, to make the best possible choices that we can possibly make.  It’s one thing to not live our entire lives, living for everyone else and another for us to be responsible while making our choices for our own lives.  One need not be a doormat but, one certainly needs to be somewhat responsible.  There’s usually someone else whom we affect in some way or another with them.

Published by ponderinglifetoo

I'm a wife, mother, artist, photographer and bookkeeper. I love writing out my thoughts in journals but, am finding my way to sharing these with others now.

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