How many times in our lives have we all sat and listened to problems and tried to help someone we’ve considered a friend, only to find that person not there later for you or, having gone off to share their happy moments with other people and not including us?
Recently, having gone through a lot of hard issues in my life, I’ve found that the people I have been there for through thick and thin, without question, without hesitation have been nowhere to be found during my times of trouble.
Not that I’m expecting people to give up their own lives or to cater to my needs but, I’d kind of hoped that they’d have had enough care to have at the least, offered up their friendship…even if it meant going shopping or out for a coffee, just to take my mind off of the issues that I’m dealing with for a bit.
Worse than that, I’ve not only found that none of these people have been available to me but, that they’ve used the old excuse of, “I’ve been busy”.
Sure, we’re all busy in our lives. It’s not as though I don’t have a life when they have called with their problems. I’ve simply made the time to be there for them whereas, they haven’t done the same in return.
I can say that what really gets to me more than anything is the idea that these people have taken my friendship when they were in need but, the moment that they were moving on from their problems, they had also moved on from me.
They were sharing the bad times with me but, when the good times were happening in their lives, it was other people that they shared those moments with.
From here on out, I’ve made a pact with myself. I’m no longer going to put off what I need to do for myself in my life to be there for those who are simply there to use me for their own needs and toss me when they’re no longer in need.
A true friendship means sharing both the bad as well as the good times.
Perhaps, I need a t-shirt made up with the following on it…..
If you want my opinion and ask for it, I’ll give it. If you need a shoulder to cry on and a tissue, I’ll offer you mine and hand you a tissue. If you want a friend to be there for you, I’ll be that friend. If you just need to vent, I’ll listen. But, if I’ve done all or some of that and when you’ve gotten what you needed and walk away, not bothering with me until the next problem arises…..you can keep on walking and don’t look back for I won’t be there next time. I’m not a doormat or a revolving door….if I’ve cared enough to be there for you in the bad times, I’ve been a friend so, think of me during the good times and share those with me too.