Have you ever felt like your life sucks and everyone else’s is somehow the epitome of perfection while going through your home feeds on Facebook? Everyone’s lives look happy, rose coloured and feel like it needs a sound track with birds chirping, people skipping and singing. Your “friends” are all posting photos of perfect children and grandchildren, parties, dinners, vacations, selfies with groups in beautiful places. Suddenly, your life feels like it’s gone to hell in a hand-basket and you’re wondering what you’re doing wrong because your world now seems small.
Let me assure you of one thing here. Facebook isn’t reality.
Here’s a few things you should know that should help make you look at Facebook a little differently.
If you’ve ever felt like your life sucks because your Facebook friends all seem to be doing something exciting or, because they seem to have themselves and their lives together, you can stop right there. Your life is really no different than theirs. The only thing that differs is that they’ve taken and posted a few more selfies than you have and they’re just better at how they present themselves and their lives. They’ve learned the art of taking photos of bagels with cream cheese with their cell phones and giving it a grandiose story to go with it. They’ve bypassed all that’s going wrong in their lives in favour of posting jokes or being inventive in how they’ve phrased their status updates. They’ve created ways to present ordinary, everyday events and make it seem like they’re part of Dirty Dancing and are having the time of their lives. In other words, they’ve become “Bullshit Artists” and you haven’t mastered it quite as well.
Avoiding The Negatives In Their Lives
Not many people go onto Facebook and admit that their lives are filled with crap. Social media is a venue whereby, people present their lives as though they don’t have a problem in the world. After all, how many people go onto Facebook to read about everyone else’s problems? By being selective as to what they post, people can make their lives look happy and themselves, well adjusted. It’s what they don’t post that tells you the other half or more of their stories.
How many people have you seen whose walls look like they came out of a Normal Rockwell painting but, have talked to them in private or over the phone and know that they’re not at all happy in their lives? If you haven’t seen that, drop those people a line or two in a private message or via email. Pick up the phone and call them or, invite them to meet you for coffee one day if you live close enough to one another. If you’re perceptive enough, you’ll get the gist that their lives just aren’t what they seem on Facebook. That’s a guarantee because no one is without problems. They have simply avoided posting the negatives in their lives on Facebook.
Happy Friends And Family
The ultimate measure of a person’s life would appear to be the smiling faces and sheer numbers of people in a person’s life. One could be envious of those who seem to have endless family, friends and happy smiles in photos on Facebook. It could make those who are less family and friend endowed, feel as though they’ve somehow failed in Life because they have few photos to post of themselves with family and friends by comparison. However, if you were able to listen to the storied behind the multitude of people who seem to grace their lives, you’d also find a plethora of gripes, groans, moans and complaints about those same people who are beaming with teeth showing through those smiles. You would also find that there’s been tears, fears, worries, headaches and rejections that go along with all of those faces in those photos. Never judge a relationship by their smiles in photos. No one’s family is that happy and no friendship comes without issues. No one goes un-talked about in a negative light. Nothing is what it seems in those captured moments of what appears like total bliss.
Party On, Dudes
It’s Saturday night and you’re sitting at home, in front of your computer, looking at Facebook while dozens of photos and status updates come through on the Home Feeds of people out, dancing, drinking or seemingly, having fun. Where’s your fun? Why are you at home while everyone else seems to be out with others, enjoying themselves? What are you doing wrong?
Everyone at some point, gets time out of the house to be with others or, you have someone or several people over to your place. It may not be every weekend and it may not be with large groups of people but, the truth is, you’ve gone out too. The difference is, these people have an obsession with turning every moment that they’re out, into a photo-op to post to Facebook and you haven’t done that but, they have. They will grab every opportunity to grab a photo of the people around them and with them. Some people in their photos, they’ve just met through other people or, they’ve learned to get people into photos by hamming it up and turning it into a joke. Are their entire evenings like that? Likely not.
If you’d like to have photos to post to your wall, wait until you’re with at least one other person, at home or out and get “goofy” while snapping pictures of those moments and posting them to Facebook. Add a caption about what a great visit or time you had to it and post them. You too, will have instant Party Time that looks great on any Facebook wall.
“Emily and I out having a great afternoon”
Turning Ordinary Everyday Events Into Something News Worthy
People in Facebookland have also learned how to turn even the most mundane of daily things into something worthy of posting on Facebook. It fills in a lot of gaps in their lives that would normally be left gaping holes were it not for how they made it look somehow glamorous.
Take this photo for instance.
Ok, it’s a photo of a pot of pasta or spaghetti sauce. It’s nothing special. We all have our favourite recipes or we’re really good at opening a jar and throwing it into a pot to heat up, right?
The above is true but, in Facebookland, it’s no ordinary pot of sauce that you’ve made (store bought or homemade or not…remember, it’s what you omit that makes the story seem interesting). This is your masterpiece and you’re happy about it. Try adding that photo to your Facebook wall as a status and add in what was happening or what you were doing or who was around you at the time you were making it. Talk about something else that you accomplished during the day before you made that sauce or what you’re going to watch on tv after you’ve had it and suddenly…you have a life!
This photo could be posted to your wall with a status update like:
“Yummy! My freshly made pasta sauce to go with garlic bread for dinner tonight. I’m looking forward to curling up with my favourite pyjamas, a blanket and binge watching Sons of Anarchy on Crave TV tonight.”
Suddenly, not only do you have something good to eat but, you’re a good cook and have a well planned, cozy evening to look forward to.
It’s all tricks. It’s all omissions. It’s all just how you present yourself and your life that makes your life feel, seem and be fuller if that’s what you’re into and want to do.
If not, just realize that no one’s life is as lopsidedly good as what it appears on Facebook. Everyone has lonely moments, cries, has problems, fights with friends and family, nowhere to go and no one to go with. You’re not failing at Life anymore than anyone else is nor, is your life worse than anyone else’s for the most part. You’re ok. Facebook can simply make it seem like you’re not and cause a lot of depression in people if you’re not of the right frame of mind and seeing it for what it is….non-reality based life.