It sounds laughable and perhaps, even comical….sometimes….but, for the most part, it’s become more than simply an annoyance when your husband is constantly asking you “what?” after everything you say to him, including long explanations. There isn’t enough time nor, energy in the world to keep repeating every word you say or have said over a day’s time. It’s exhausting to say the least. I’d wring his neck but, it’s illegal.
I’m not joking when I write that everything that I say to the man, literally, has to be said 2, 3 or 4 times before he “hears it” and, I practically have to be yelling where he takes offence. Worse than that, he has no hearing problems. I should know because I sent him to have his hearing checked, telling him that I would definitely apologize to him if he did have a hearing impairment. His tests came back “perfect hearing”.
The man hears what he wants to hear. If there’s someone he wants to talk to or there’s a ball game on television, in spite of traffic noise that could drown out a fog horn, he hears.
So, what are the potential issues if an audiologist has deemed him with no hearing loss or problems and he can’t hear me when I’m right beside him?
- The tone of my voice gets drowned out. Perhaps, there’s a certain frequency that he “tunes out of” and my voice is one of them? Wouldn’t surprise most women, I’m sure to know that their husbands are quite capable of attuning their brains to only understanding frequencies that don’t match those of their spouses. However, that doesn’t hold water much because I’ve tried changing the pitch of my voice and changing what I’m saying to him. No winners there.
- He doesn’t want to hear me ask him to do anything. That might be a possibility except that I could be saying “dinner is ready” and he doesn’t seem to hear that either.
- His brain cannot process what his ears pick up. That would fit the bill if he couldn’t comprehend the football, baseball or soccer games via radio or one of his buddies’ phone calls over a small cell phone. He can understand all that so, I have to assume that it’s not that his brain can’t compute.
- He’s lost in his own little world and only hears what he selectively wants to hear better than 90% of the time. This is more than likely the cause of his “hearing loss” when it comes to my voice.
I’m betting that it’s the last idea that is his problem. He’s likely allowing himself to be lost in an inner world of some making that he only comes out of when it’s convenient for him or, he wants to be out of it because there’s something more interesting for him when out of it. That must mean that he finds me either terribly boring or, he’s really avoiding responsibilities or being asked to do anything or, that the little world he seems to dwell in, is really exciting. Or, it could mean that it’s so peaceful in there, being empty that he loves being there. I’d say it’s exciting but, he doesn’t appear to have many insightful thinking of his own. At least, not from what I hear coming from his mouth to me or anyone else for that matter. There’s no “light bulb moments” that he has or expresses. As a matter of fact, he seems to express very little other than surface conversation with anyone I’ve ever seen him talk to. He also quickly seems to be able to snap out of it when there’s “blame” placed upon him for not doing something because he’s extremely quickly heard every word and responded with an “if you can do better….you do it,” type answer.
Whatever the issue is or, whatever the reason is for him not hearing me or my voice, I’m tired. Repeating everything 2, 3 or 4 times is totally mind-blowingly exhausting. I’ve even begun sentences with nonsense words such as “gobbledeegook” to see if he’ll budge an inch. Nope. Nothing is said…not even a “what?” Does that mean that he hears my voice but, could care less about anything that I have to say? Perhaps, my next sentence should start with…”I’m having a torrid love affair with…..” and wonder if he’ll hear that? If he claps with glee….he’s been drowning out my voice and is totally tired and fed-up with me.
The real issue here is that I could be in trouble, dying or needing help quickly and the man just doesn’t hear me. What then? Is it Life Alert for me next? May as well. At least “it” will hear me.
From my little corner of life, I’m wiped right out of trying to talk to him and, likely won’t be uttering more than I absolutely have to anymore. In fact, any time that I do have to speak to him about anything since we live in the same house, I’m going to be sure to stand 2 inches from his face, literally be up in it, catch his attention speak really slowly, enunciating every word as though speaking to a nearly deaf person and perhaps, between his hearing and lip reading, he’ll get what I’m saying. I’ll reserve my energy the rest of the time for pillow punching, instead.
Maybe….I just need to run away from home?