Hugs to everyone!
Calmness, peace and serenity.
Not mellow right now? Take a moment to chill out.
MELLOW, mellow, mellow and more mellow.
Take a deep breath, let out the tension and relax.
Now smile…even if you don’t feel like it. It’s a Fake It Till You Make It way of getting yourself into a genuine smile. Seriously…it has been proven by scientific research that even if you’re faking a smile, do it long enough and you’ll eventually feel like smiling genuinely.
“Pondering Life, I don’t feel like smiling right now,” you say.
“Just breathe and relax,” I say in return. “You’ll eventually feel like smiling when you relax, chill and mellow.”
Everyone has problems in Life. No one is without them especially, in this hectic paced world with all sorts of negative things happening and everyone wearing the weight of them all on their shoulders, grumpy, grumbling and miserable. Nobody escapes feeling that pressure building up both outside of themselves as well as within. It rubs off, doesn’t it? Don’t let it worry you.
I bought a folding chair the other day. There’s a window that overlooks a big old Dutch Elm tree that holds my every thought, worry and prayer energy. That’s where I’ve placed my new folding chair (so that I can pack it up when I’m done).
Whenever I’m stressed in any way, even if there’s 10 feet of snow and it’s minus temperatures outside, I love looking at that tree through the window that faces it. Actually, I talk to that tree. It knows my every thought. No, I’m not crazy. I don’t actually talk to the tree out loud or like it’s going to answer me but, I do think about things for a bit, telling that tree my secret upsets and worries. I also have a green tea, a journal and a pen handy. There’s something therapeutic about either talking out your issues and problems or, writing them down so that they’re out there and out of your mind, instead of rumbling around in there. It doesn’t necessarily solve every problem you have but, it does have the benefit of getting it out of your head and bringing you back into the present moment.
Mmmmm…that green tea tastes good and it’s got a lot of healing properties with it as well, including anti-oxidants which help improve brain functioning as well as other physical healing properties. The warmth alone helps soothe and calm.
It’s at this point where I watch a couple of squirrels playing on the tree and some birds, flying or landing and pecking at the ground for food or simply sitting, chattering on branches. Life feels much less stressful when I do this. After all, the birds and squirrels aren’t stressed. They’re simply being. That’s what we all need to do. Simply be.
Here’s a few tips that help me in my life:
- Right at this moment in time, it doesn’t matter what anyone else says, thinks or does. It’s what you feel that matters most. Everyone else has their own cross to bear and it’s likely getting pretty heavy. It’s that weight that you’re feeling from them.
- No one else carries around your problems with them so, don’t take on theirs on top of your own.
- Problems are either going to get solved by you eventually or, they will solve themselves in time. The only thing you need to do is to recognize which problems need solving by you, find a way to solve them and realizing when they’re not under your control. Not everything is under our control. Let go of what isn’t yours to deal with or those you can’t change.
- Stress is created within ourselves by over-thinking and allowing things to pile up on our shoulders. Drop those things that you don’t need to hang onto and while you can do some brain storming on how to deal with things that are yours to deal with but, don’t dwell too long on them. That’s where a journal comes in handy. Write down the problem then, a couple of possible solutions. That’s it. Now, breathe deeply and let it go.
- Worrying about things isn’t going to solve them. Worry is a physical reaction to over-thinking and dwelling on what’s bothering you. It does no good but, it can sure do harm to yourself and your body. While it’s human nature to want to solve everything, it’s not possible to do so. Accept that fact and move your thoughts onto something else. Why not make it a happier time in your life?
- BREATHE, sip some more of that hot tea or whatever you are enjoying drinking or even eating.
- What the cashier said to you or didn’t say, the boss said or didn’t say, your friend and you had a fight today, the news was filled with fearful messages and tragedies throughout your city or the world, your child or children where acting like little monsters with you or your mother-in-law or a plethora of other things that we all face from others in our day, don’t matter. You want to know why? We can’t change other people. We can only change our reactions to their actions or lack of them. Let it all go. As angering, upsetting and teeth gritting as it all has made you feel, let it go. It’s not a forever thing and besides, for the most part, those people or events, had more to do with those people’s personal reasons than it was a statement about you in any way. You simply took the brunt of it because you were there or handy. It’s about them more often than not. Not you.
- Change a thought and you’ll change your emotion. Our thoughts are what create our emotions. You can’t have an emotion without a thought. So, what thoughts make you feel happy, peaceful, laughter-filled? Think of those for a bit of time. If you can’t think of something in your own life at the moment (yes, we all have good moments in our lives but, they’re often un-recallable when we feel stressed), think of a movie or book or something you’ve watched or heard where there’s a happy message or even funny. It’s even better if you can laugh.
- Focus on the moment…not the past or the future. If you can’t see outside to watch birds, squirrels or cars going by or you can’t get outside at all, turn on some music you like or a television program that takes your mind into whatever it is that you’re watching or doing. Concentrate on that green tea for instance, the warmth the smell, the soothing properties. Doodle on paper if you’re at your desk and BREATHE deeply, concentrating on both or either one.
- Even when at work or school, we all get breaks or lunches. Either talk to someone else about something you’re interested in or, if there’s no one around to talk to, journal your thoughts. Keep a small dollar store notebook with you and a pen and just write. Heck, use a napkin if you have nothing else to write on. JK Rowling wrote most of her first Harry Potter on napkin scraps. You never know what you’ll come up with but, at the least, it’s out of your mind for the time being. Leave it there, on that paper, notebook or if you can phone a friend or family member, leave it in that conversation and end it. Let it go afterwards. It’s out there, floating around The Universe.
- Go for a walk or dance. Get physical because it removes excess adrenalin and other stress chemicals. Tire yourself out. Hit a pillow or the bed until you can’t stand up anymore. I’ve done it and boy, it feels good to hit something until I’m so exhausted that I can’t do anything but collapse and laugh at how upset I got. I instantly feel better even though I’m wrung out like a dishrag for a bit. I’ve gotten out that anger, upset and whatever else I’ve been feeling.
- Last, but not least, PLAN. Plan something that makes you feel good. It might be a vacation or redecorating your home or room. It might be a night out with friends or even a coffee date or time. Give yourself a planned event that gives you something to look forward to. Think about that instead of the hassles, worries and upsets you’ve been dealing with. You’re changing your thoughts so, you’re changing your emotions.
Other people don’t have all of the answers to your problems or issues though they can offer up their opinions and suggestions. You are walking in your own shoes and going down your own path. You can’t take anyone else’s path with them or for them. Find your own way to deal with your own unique circumstances. Taking my advice or even the “Great Gurus” like Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, Rhonda Byrnes, Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters Diving Deep), Teal Swan, Eckhart Tolle, Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz or anyone else with some form of celebrity-hood may help but, they’re not perfect human beings with all of the answers to everything. We tend to want someone to tell us that if we follow A, B, and C that we’ll come out with D but, the truth is, we all have to find our own ways of getting around things and frankly, all of those people are going to change their philosophies too because they are out to make money off of “helping you” in one way or another. That’s their livelihoods. Really. Take from them what suits you but, realize that they will change with the times and whatever else happens to sell their air time, books and podcasts or whatever. And, by the way, I’m NOT trying to put anyone down but, reality is reality and I make NO money off of writing this blog nor, am I aiming to do so. This is purely a hobby from my studies and life’s lessons as well as interests only.
When all else fails, watch and listen to THIS.
Keep smiling, laughing and be well.
Blessings, Love and Light from my little corner of life to yours.