Be A Little More Selfish

“Generation A” was taught to take care of others and be respectful towards society in general and totality. Negativity was used to punish them if they didn’t cooperate but, they often did because it was “the right thing to do”.  They were brought up to serve others and their needs first.

“Generation B” (Generation A’s Offspring) was taught that they would be looked after, loved and appreciated by simply being. Positivity was heaped onto them no matter what they did or didn’t do as long as they tried.  They were taught that the only thing that mattered was themselves and being served.

Which generation turned out to be better off in Life?

older generation

The answer may be shocking but in reality, while both generations have their issues to deal with, Generation B turned out to be better off in more ways than one.

Generation A learned that “doing the right thing” was always preferable to taking care of self.  In effect, Generation A, seemed to have learned that taking care of other’s needs, wants and wellbeing was more important than they, themselves.  They were taught to put themselves last and serve others first.  Their lives became about servicing others versus taking care of self.  Self was a non-being machine, meant to be devoted to others, not self.

Generation B on the other hand, learned quickly that they were important and to think of self first.  Other’s needs came second especially, Generation A’s needs.  Simply by being them, they learned that they were worthy of praise, love, attention and rewards for taking care of self and self-needs.  Of course, schools taught them that the environment was important but, not other people or, their needs.

Why Generation B Has The Right Idea

Generation B learned to take care of self and self need first and foremost.  That’s an important lesson to have learned.  While Generation B is sitting back, licking wounds from having been kicked in the stomach by others, trying to figure out who they are and what they are, Generation B already knows that simply by being, they have worth.  There’s no need for them to please others, take care of others before they ensure that they have what they need and want.  That has left Generation A, feeling like a dumping ground because they are likely without the previous generation who taught them all that they know as well as being devoid of Generation B for the most part.  In short, Generation A now has no one left to serve and Generation B isn’t about to serve them. Generation B is far too busy taking care of self and self-need to do what Generation A was taught to do so, Generation A is left behind, feeling like they don’t know what to do with themselves now that there’s no one left to serve.

Generation A learned that only by working hard, always taking care of others and not being in debt, was the way to live.  They most often gave of their time, energy and efforts towards being a good relative/family member, employee and society member.  They had fun at times but the majority of their lives was spent “doing the right thing” for everyone else and society in general.  That often meant a modest living, taking care of parental orders, needs and later, care, working hard for what they had and not owing much financially.  They lived for the future but, forgot about themselves and the present moment for the most part.

Generation B on the other hand, learned that taking care of self, wants and needs and simply being, was the way to go.  Instant gratification and the present moment is what counts.  After all, none of us are promised a tomorrow.  They learned that Generation A would not only take care of itself and society but, also take care of Generation B’s needs and wants where possible.  After all, they were there to serve while Generation B was to be served.  They know what they want and they will work hard too but, it’s often working to have what they want and need versus a “duty” as Generation A had learned.  Generation B will also likely have several to many jobs throughout their lifetime and a lot of debt as they self-fulfill their wants instantaneously.  That will come at the expense of Generation A whom Generation B has long learned has worked hard to pay off what they have with some money put aside.  Generation B will bank on getting that money some day so, why worry?

Why As A Generation A, I Regret A Lot of Things

I spent my entire life thus far, caring for and about other people.  I never quite learned how to be myself.  Even in bringing Generation B into this world, I learned to serve and continue to serve both the generation before me, my own generation as well as Generation B.  My entire life was spent living in the caregiving role and putting myself as #2 or less.  I never was taught who I was beyond being a caregiver to everyone.  I never learned that I had rights, wants and needs.  It was always about someone or something else that I was living my life.

The generations before me have all passed away now, along with some of my own generation.  Generation B that I brought into this world, have moved on with their own lives and I’m not part of it.  There have been no thanks from either generation.  Both had simply expected something from me.

In short, I never learned to love self and honour my own being or needs the way that generation B has learned to do so.

I haven’t been on a vacation in over a decade now because a) I can’t afford it and b) I haven’t learned that spending money to suit my own needs (not Generation B’s) is ok c) the generation before me, left little money so, everything I have was earned by me d) I’m stuck on not racking up debt that will be taken care of with the monies from my estate when I leave this planet even if there’s nothing left to go to Generation B who has had little to nothing to do with me anyway.

I constantly worry about my future if I have one that is, because I know that Generation B will not be there to take care of me.  Someone has to do it eventually and should I live long enough so, I know I will have to deal with that both financially as well as with insecurity where the generation before me knew that I would be there for them.  It’s a whole new society to live in now.  The next generation simply doesn’t have the same principles that my generation did.  Yet, I want to have some fun while I still can.

My grandmothers both worked their entire lives for what they had.  They did without a lot, rarely went on vacation, never bought new furniture unless absolutely necessary and I used to get upset, thinking that they should spend some of their money to have what they wanted/needed, within reason of course.  They never did.  The outcome was that my parents passed away before they did and their estates went to others, unintended. Neither they nor, my parents got to benefit from the fruits of my grandparent’s labour, struggles and sacrifices.  Not only that but, both of my parents looked after their own parents and when my parents passed on, I took over that role, never receiving so much as a thank you gift.  What had it all been for not only for me but, for my parents and their parents? What good did it do them all in the end?

As the Generation B that I brought into this world, took care of and loved more than my own life and self has deserted me, I am wondering what I am doing by not having what I need and want.  Did “doing the right thing” do any good for any of the previous generations I took care of?  Maybe, there’s something to the idea of looking after self, putting self first and yes, even becoming a little “selfish” so to speak?  Perhaps, Generation B, along with lessons from the generations previous to mine have all taught me something?

Be A Little Selfish And Let Society Take Care of Itself?

Pretty much everyone I know in generations beyond mine have learned to figure out what they want, who they are and how to live for the moment.  If there’s time and energy left over, perhaps they will take care of our generation?  If not, we are on our own and will have to take care of self.  However, we’ve not learned how to do that still.  We’re still stuck in caregiver mode, even if it’s to Generation C now.  However, one thing is for certain, we need some fun time finally.  None of us are promised a tomorrow.

So, is it time to be a little more selfish and let Society take care of itself?

Answer: Absolutely!

Reason: It will do so anyway.

From my little corner of life to yours, if you’re a Generation A, take the time now to learn from Generation B.  Take care of yourself first and foremost and let other generations deal with our care when it’s needed.  Have some fun now while we still can.  Forget obligations that no longer are needed and were put there by previous generations that no longer are on this planet.  Take that vacation.  Buy that new furniture.  Build or obtain that house or places of residence that you want even if it is wintering somewhere warm for the winters and downsizing for the summers where you live.  If that means credit and debt, so be it.  When you don’t remember what you did 3 minutes ago down the road due to Dementia or Alzheimers, who cares what debt load you’ve left behind as long as you’ve had fun in the moment? After all, we will be Generation B’s or C’s obligation as well as the society that we took care of all of these years of our lives and heaven only knows that Generation C is going to turn out to be?  It could be even more self-centred than Generation B.

Enjoy your “Now” as that is all that any of us have to enjoy.  The Past is gone and the future is un-promised to any of us.  Stay wise if you can but enjoy what you can today and in the right now.  Just BE.

Be well, Love and Light

Enjoy your day or evening.



Published by ponderinglifetoo

I'm a wife, mother, artist, photographer and bookkeeper. I love writing out my thoughts in journals but, am finding my way to sharing these with others now.

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