When The Sky Seems Like It Will Fall

The Sky Is Falling

I’m going to say this to get it off of my chest and shoulders.

“I’m having a HARD time and I don’t see an end to it in the near future, which only magnifies the whole experience further!” 

You likely don’t know what I mean, do you?  Or perhaps, you do?  Maybe, you are also going through this Pandora’s Box of Troubles that has been set into motion and you don’t see an end to what’s been coming out and what’s coming next?

If you don’t understand what I’m talking about, I’m sure you will when I explain.  We all go through it if we let ourselves and dwell on it all.

I’ve recently been handed a truck load of issues that in all reality, are not truly my own creation nor, can I do anything about most of them.  In other words, they are beyond my control and, I recognize this much but, it’s doing little to stop that feeling of panic, upset and feeling overwhelmed.  Yet, I am doing all that I can or could have done at the same time and frankly, I know that I am.  I’m not oblivious to this fact.

Let me say this also though….I can be neurotic when I can’t solve something.

Yes, you heard me right.  I can tend to obsess over what is not going right and block out what is going well for me.  In other words, I focus on what I can’t do anything about as though they are the only things that are going on in my life and, for all intents and purposes, because I am fairly solely dwelling on those things, they are all that’s going on in my life…in my mind.  I literally can’t see anything else that’s happening which may be good because I’m so intently honed in onto the things that aren’t going well and I truly can’t do much about.

Take, for instance, the fact that I had a call-back for a repeat mammogram and breast ultrasound.  Instantly, I leapt to what we’ll call “The Worst Case Scenario”.  In my mind these thoughts ran through my head almost instantly after sitting down immediately to stop myself from falling over as I said out loud “oh my God, NO!”.

  • I’ve got breast cancer
  • I’m going to go through surgery
  • Chemotherapy is next
  • What will my husband do without me?
  • Will he handle the pets?
  • What if I never get to see my daughter again and I die, not seeing her?
  • What will she feel?
  • Will I be missed?

That was a few of the thoughts that ran through my shocked mind.  It’s only a partial list of things but, you get the idea, right?

Then, something happened that helped tone down the panic just a tad.

I realized that there was really nothing I could do about whatever might be going on or not going on.  I hadn’t asked for it.  I hadn’t done anything wrong.  I wasn’t in control of what was or wasn’t in there.  Whatever is, is and all of this fretting, mind-racing, horrifying thinking wasn’t going to change that fact.  About the only thing that I could do was to go back and get the testing done again then, wait for the results and see what may or may not come out of it.  At that moment, I was safe, I needed a hot tea and to calm down.  That’s all that I could do.  That’s what I did.

It wasn’t as though I wasn’t already in a state of panic though.  I was also worried about another two health issues that I’m dealing with as well as a plethora of other woes, fears, worries and seemingly, never-ending issues that simply never appear to be resolved.  Top that off with me being a sponge and taking on everyone else’s problems, emotions and issues like a sponge and you’ve got a recipe for a total break down.  I was already in a heightened state of panic or neurotic thinking patterns, anxiety, panic attacks and this, well…this added to that state to almost breaking point.

Do you recognize yourself to some extent or another in this type of thinking and behaviour patterns?

If you don’t….lucky you.  You’ve learned how to prioritize and put things into perspective one way or another.  Consider yourself congratulated by not only me but, every other person who can’t quite grasp that way of being.  You’re truly to be commended and can either keep on reading out of pure curiosity or can stop here if you like.

If you do recognize yourself in this scenario, you might want to keep reading on for a bit.  Something I say may help or at the least, hit home with you.

How to get out of this type of thinking pattern

  1.   Recognizing what you can and can’t do something about is paramount.  If you can’t do anything to change what’s happening or what you believe to be happening, move onto something you can do something about.
  2. Decipher what you can do something about and do it then, leave it there.
  3. Stop WORRYING.  Worry is the most useless emotion you can have.  It serves no good purpose.  All worry does is to work yourself and your body up into a complete basket case state with chemicals such as adrenalin, cortisol and the like, coursing through your body to raise levels of panic.  Contrary to popular belief amongst the best of worriers, worrying doesn’t cause you to think better nor, does it prevent “bad things” from happening.  It only makes you feel like you have control where you still have none and oftentimes, screws you up so that you can’t act on what you can do something about by thinking clearly.
  4. Think about the “Worst Case Scenario”.  Is it really all that bad?  What is the absolute worst thing that could happen?  Think about that for a second then, ask yourself what you might do if you were to find yourself in that position.  Could you help yourself?  Is there a way out of it?  What could you do to deal with that worst case scenario?  In my case, death is the worst case scenario and as one wise older woman once told me, “you’re either going somewhere beautiful or, there’s nothing and you won’t know the difference.”  Simply put but, true.  Neither were so horrific that I couldn’t go through it especially, since no one is getting out of this life, alive.
  5. Find the “Now”.  Where are you right now? You’re reading my words, right? You’re likely somewhere that you’re used to being or you’re not in any immediate danger in the next few moments.  Ground yourself by looking around to find something that anchors you to the now.  Maybe, it’s the smell of coffee or you can look outside the window and see birds pecking a the ground, clouds floating by, rain coming down or (shiver) snow.  Perhaps, it’s the music you have on in the background or you think of some happy place or thought.  Maybe, you can’t think of anything nice around you so, you think of a movie or tv show that makes you feel good.  Whatever it is that makes you feel good, think of that and concentrate on that feeling.  Anchor yourself to the present moment and the fact that you’re likely doing something normal for you to be doing or you’re some place that you’re not foreign to in every single way.  In other words, you’re not in any immediate danger and you’re not on Mars.
  6. Move around.  I mean it.  All sorts of nasty chemicals run through our veins when we’re feeling overwhelmed, worried and even panicked.  Our bodies need to get the feeling that we’re “moving” to get rid of those pesky negatively charged chemicals.  Dance if you can or walk.  If you’re unable to do either of those things because you’re at work, get up and walk to the water cooler, make yourself a coffee, talk to a co-worker or just get up and stretch, jiggle your legs or anything that makes you move a bit.  Don’t just sit there, fretting in your own juices.  Dissipate the nasty little buggers from your body right now.
  7. If you feel like crying…CRY.  If you feel like shouting, scream into a pillow.  Talk to a friend or co-worker.  When you want to pound the crap out of something or someone, hit a pillow or your bed until you can’t stand up anymore.  Either you’ll be so fatigued that you won’t be able to pound anymore or, you’ll end up laughing.  Of course, that pillow may need to be thrown out or your bed re-made but, that’s simply more movement. Just don’t hold your emotions in.  Let them out.
  8. Listen to what other people are going through.  It’s guaranteed that someone will have gone through whatever you’re going through or is going through it.  Somewhere, there is always someone who understands or who has been through worse.  Put your situation into perspective.  You are not alone in anything you’re going through no matter what it is.
  9. Remember other times when you thought you couldn’t get through something but did.  Those are the times to draw upon and realize that there’s more to you than you thought and perhaps, even feel right now.
  10. Break down the steps you have to take into bite sized pieces.  In other words, if you’re going to get a test done, don’t try to think of the entire situation all at once.  That is overwhelming for everyone.  Start with simple things like, taking a shower, getting your clothes on, putting one leg at a time into a car or taxi or walking to the bus stop, getting in or getting out.  Ask yourself once there if you can lay on a table or sit down.  Yes, you can do it.  Can you follow instructions when given to you?  Yes, you can and that’s their job to tell you so, they’re experts at telling you what to do and when.  Just listen and follow their instructions.  Breaking things down into simple steps works on every single situation you are or may have to face in your life.  Most of what you will have to deal with are every day things when broken down into smaller tasks.  You can do it!
  11. When you’re uncertain as to what to do about anything, put it into an expert’s hands and ask for help.  Whether they give you instructions, opinions, advice or take it over for you, you’ve done something towards helping your situation.  If it’s something that you can do yourself, refer to #10 above.
  12. Accept that Life is uncertain.  None of us are certain of anything.  Life is filled with surprises and unexpected things happening.  Some of them will be good and some of them will feel not so good.  Whatever comes your way, have faith in yourself and know that no one alive has certainty about anything at any given time.  The only difference between you and someone who may seem like they are certain about something is that they have either been through it before or, they don’t worry about  it and have accepted that uncertainty is the only certainty in Life.
  13. Treat yourself as though you are a gem and you’ll begin feeling like one.  Rest when you need to rest.  Give yourself something to look forward to when you’ve completed a task.  Take yourself out somewhere and enjoy being out if you can’t do anything or you’ve done all that you can.  Give yourself a rest and a treat of some kind.
  14. Be kind to yourself.  Last time I checked, none of us here are gods.  We are not omnipotent nor, can we know it all.  Recognize that you can’t foresee everything and plan ahead of time, doing everything right or preventing what may happen from happening.  You aren’t that good and don’t have that kind of control.  None of us do.
  15. If you can’t do anything about a situation, accept it and move on towards other things that you can do something about or enjoy doing.  There’s nothing harder on you and your body than trying to achieve something that is not under your control. Enjoy what you have around you right now or move forward to something that you might want to happen and make that happen (things that you can control).
  16. Most things in Life means that the sky won’t fall in so, why are you fretting yourself into a stew?  Once you’ve done all that you can do, let it go.  I mean, tell yourself that you’ve done all that you can and drop it from your list of things to do.  Thinking it over and over and over again isn’t going to make it disappear.  Letting go of it is relief.  Let it go.
  17. Stop trying to control everything and everyone.  It’s not only a waste of your time but, it’s virtually impossible no matter if you have a Superman’s cape on under your clothing.  Even Superman was powerless over Kryptonite.
  18. Recognize that we all have limitations and crap will happen to us all once, twice or many times.  None of us will escape that fact.  It simply means that you’re part of the human race.  Doesn’t that feel good to know?
  19. There’s nothing to fear but fear itself.  Remember that one.  It’s true.  Nothing is as bad as your own fear.  Don’t believe me?  Think of a time when you were ready to crap your pants with fear.  Did you make it through it?  You’re reading this, aren’t you?  Fear was the only thing that needed to be feared, right?  Think about the one a bit longer and it will come to you in your own way.
  20. Last but, not least, when you’re already down there, weighted down by your own problems, if you need that energy to deal with or cope with those things, do NOT take on other people’s problems too.  Deal with your own first and put your own oxygen mask on before taking on other people’s problems.  Often enough, they’ll figure it out like you are, on their own.  Unless you’re a specialist in something and it’s part of your job, look after your own needs first.  There will always be someone in trouble to help later when you’re feeling like you’re on more secure ground.  Mind you, there’s something to be said about helping others when you’re in trouble.   If you can’t do anything further with our own issues, help someone else with theirs if you can help them out and they are asking for help.  Not only does it get your mind off of your own troubles for a bit and onto someone else’s but, it’s gratifying to help others all around.  And, who knows?  They may be able to help you out too, even if it’s only a cup of coffee and an ear or shoulder for you.

With all of that said, it’s not that I have it all put together either.  None of us do.  I’m still waiting for my test results and yes, I am still concerned but, I know that as of this moment, I am here, writing this piece and hopefully, making sense to someone out there, reading this.  No, I still haven’t gotten my daughter back into my life but, I can’t do anything more than I’ve already done in trying so, I have to let her go until or unless she wants to change something in her life.  No, I still don’t know whether I want to sell the home I’m in now and move or where to move but, I’m looking around and I’m thinking about it.  What I can do is to call up a Real Estate Agent and have her/him show me places.  If I decide to stay here, I will have some renovations to do and the first thing will be to move out of here and into somewhere else while they do it.  Where the money is coming from to do it all will require a trip to the bank but, at least there are steps that can be taken and broken down into manageable pieces.  I know that I can sit in a chair and listen at the bank or get in and out of a car to see homes that I may like or not like.  That may make up my mind right there for me.  I can control those things.  Or, perhaps, my test results will tell me something different and make that decision for me.  Whatever  it is, I am doing all that I can do in every direction.  The rest…well…I kind of have to let go of because I’ve done all that I can.  It’s no longer in my hands and I have to somehow, accept that much.  I will.

From my little corner of Life to yours….

Be well. Love and Light.

Have a great day or evening.

 

10 thoughts on “When The Sky Seems Like It Will Fall

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  1. Btw I love the Doris Day saying and didn’t know that Doris sang it until I read it in your comment. I remember singing it in Kindergarden and feeling a sense of calm. Even singing it now I feel a sense of calm.

    If you notice, the most successful people are sometimes a bunch of fools that have applied the Que Sera, Sera anthem in their daily lives… maybe that’s what we are missing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am lucky and unlucky because I do not think of anything anymore. I am single, no children and no real desire to hold on to life. I am not suicidal or depressed but I am bored with my life. I do not have a job, no resources to create a new venture or implement my creative idea. I just have 2 bachelor degrees in healthcare and a masters which means nothing to people in my society( I live in the middle east and yea they do not deserve to have capitalized first letters to certify their existence). I used to have so much purpose in life, I was aiming to be a ceo, be a successful business woman, marry a great man, have cute kids, and maybe migrate legally to a western country (I love the culture, people and environment)… the whole shebang of a great life. But now, I feel as though I have no future, no purpose in life and its mostly because I have never seen any opportunity come through for me or even for my mom. I am trying to gain opportunities but I am at the brink of hopelessness. I have so much potential and knowledge about almost everything in my field and about running a successful business but I can’t apply my talent anywhere. Everywhere I have worked, I had managers that literally take all my ideas and projects and present them as their ideas. Also, living in a society that doesn’t value respect is very difficult and is the reason why I left my two last jobs. Not only do employers disrespect employees, employees also naturally disrespect customers. This applies to the health care field as well.

    About worrying, as you said its a useless activity and I applaud you for giving great guidance about how to deal with it but I have to disagree with one point. Talking about your problems with others makes you worry more especially when the main aim is to vent out (like what I did in the beginning of the comment lol, such a hypocrite I am). I read a really powerful quote a few weeks ago and have tested it out a few time since then. The quote went something like this “do not give up your power of control by discussing your problems with others”. This doesn’t apply to people with mental issues but it applies to people that are so wrapped up with gossiping, venting out and listening to everyone’s judgement. Giving up the power of control means you are wasting your time rehearsing an issue with people that may not necessarily give you proper guidance (even if its a medical issue). I am a very intuitive person and have noticed that venting to people and then accepting or applying their guidance usually deters me from listening to my own intuition. Intuition is a very delicate sense/ feeling, or emotion, I am not sure what it exactly is but that judgement that you have that was internally created gets lost. Also, as Ralph always says (I hate to quote him but this is something that I agree with) ” we are living in an information filled world”, which means you already know most of the answers to your question so why do you want to talk about it. Most people even your closest friends and family members are not completely listening to you. If they are, then you are lucky. But from what I noticed from almost all societies is that people do not really care to listen to your every need. That’s where God comes. I am a Muslim but I am also a Christian and a Jew so please do not judge me. I love all the religions and find so many faults in all of them But I believe in God and having faith that things will work out. For some reason when you release yourself to god, things work out even faster. I am still working on that as it is sometimes hard to let go when you have so many responsibilities.

    PS. I have always wanted to create a necklace that’s has the symbols of all religions…. but that’s just the fashion designer in me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dearest Yasmeen:

      First of all, it makes NO difference to me what religion anyone is. We are all part of this Universe. We are all people/human beings first and foremost and therefore, will all go through very similar issues at the core of our beings. No one is exempt from problems no matter what their wealth, job, religion or where they live in this world. We all have problems and we’re all trying to deal with those problems. I agree with you wholeheartedly on many things that you’ve said about exposing your troubles to others.

      “The grass is always greener on the other side.”

      That’s an old saying that my grandmother taught me when I was a child. I never understood the reasoning behind that saying until more recent years. A lot of people (or, let’s say most people) think that they and their lives would be better if only they could….(fill in the blank).

      Have you ever noticed wealthy people who are miserable and unhappy in spite of having everything that they could possibly want in Life? They’re simply more able to buy drugs, drink alcohol and go into a rehab facility to get help when they run into big trouble.

      By comparison, I have seen homeless people with nothing but the shirts on their backs and a few other personal belongings, far happier than those who are wealthy. They may be physically and mentally ill but, a lot of them have made friends with others in a similar condition. They laugh and while i hurry to get in out of the rain and cold, they are out in it because they have to be, laughing, talking and generally, seemingly happier than those I’ve met who have everything.

      I think that there’s a difference between telling everyone, everything about your life and having a few, select and trusted people in our lives who listen to our problems and care. Support groups are great for that in my area of the world. They may not care about me when I am not talking about the same problems that they have but, I am part of a group, part of their lives etc., when I am talking about what they are also hurting or in pain within their own lives as well. That may be where you and I may differ because of the countries that we live in and the cultures? I am unsure.

      One thing that I do know is that we can never simply “give up” totally. While we may take a rest from trying, we can’t totally give up on our dreams nor ourselves. It’s a matter of reformulating how we are going to deal with Life and ourselves.

      You are correct that most people are far more concerned with themselves than they are with other people’s problems. This is especially true of those who are going through tough times in their lives. They are focused on their own problems and as I’ve said before, no one is without problems no matter what their age or religion, culture, age or anything else that may separate us into categories. We all have one thing in common. We all belong to The Human Race. We are all human beings. We all bleed when cut and we all hurt at one or many times during our lifetimes.

      I wish that I were as “smart” as Ralph Smart and knew all of the answers. Sadly, I do not. I am human as well. I wish that I had no need to talk to others about my problems but, I do. You see, I know that by keeping everything inside, we often can feel alone, powerless, hopeless and as though we are the only ones with the problems that we have. What I, personally, have found by talking to others, is that I am 1) not alone 2) someone always has something to say that may not give me the answers but may start me thinking in a different direction that will lead me to a solution. At the least, talking to others is like “brain storming” when we ask for help. People will either 1) share their experiences in what works or doesn’t work 2) make comments that strike something within me that sets my own thinking into a different direction. That’s why I, personally, believe that talking to others, helps. Of course, we need to be able to trust those we talk to and, we need to be able to know that no one will have all of the answers for us but, they may say something that does trigger our own thoughts and lead us in the right direction.

      Have you ever stopped to think that perhaps, God answers us through other people? Just something for you to ponder as I’ve pondered that for many years. Think about that one and see if it may help you in some way to come to some sort of realization of some kind, somehow. It did for me. Let’s see if it works for you too. 🙂

      Nothing in this world is “perfect”. There is no such thing. People follow others who have the appearance of having it all put together and all of the answers. In reality, they are putting on a “show”. It doesn’t matter what religion, country, culture, ethnic background or belief system we have, nothing is perfect. There are flaws in everyone and everything in one way or another. It’s when we express our concerns that we find that others are in similar boats, trying to get to shore or safety. We are all trying to cope with life as well as our own expectations of what should be, could be, might be and what we want. Oftentimes though, what we want, may not be what we need at that time. We may see that point through experience and others may say something that will point that out to us. Some of the most well learned experiences that I’ve had in my lifetime, have come through other people, their situations, stories and opinions. We may not even agree with their ways of dealing or coping but, we gain something out of it. We learn what doesn’t hold true for us. There’s a lesson right there, in and of itself. In spite of losing some of that information that I’m giving out, I don’t believe that it makes me vulnerable or weakened. I believe that it has opened me up to The Universe/God. In essence, I AM talking to God when I talk to others about my thoughts, issues and problems. In my particular life, I find that I gain answers to my problems by hearing and listening to others while sharing my own experiences, troubles and life. Of course, you are correct that no one wants to hear every single little detail of our lives nor, every problem. Everyone is struggling with their own issues. However, sometimes, while it may not appear to be so at the moment, something you say, may also help them too. God works through you and your struggles as well. 🙂

      As for your future and your dreams. Let me ask you a question. While you’re struggling right now to find your way, do you believe that it will always go badly? Do you not think or believe that there is hope for you? Sometimes, we remain “stuck” because we, ourselves, won’t let go of our plans, thoughts and issues long enough to see that perhaps, our plans are not working out for us because there are better things than our original plans? Have you ever thought that perhaps, there are other things in Life that are meant for us and they come in the order that they are supposed to come rather than how we think or plan that they should? We need to be open to that possibility as well. Despair, depression and even feelings of failure are part of Life for all of us. None of us have a smooth ride through life with everything happening as we’d like, want or even think we need for them to happen. Life is filled with “curve-balls” so to speak. We all get tossed many of them throughout our lives. It’s all part of our experiences in Life and things that make us who we become. We can choose to let them defeat us or we can choose to cry for a bit, dust ourselves off and get back up and try another way, path or simply put our troubles out there for others and ask for help. There are more than one way to cope with these types of things. It’s up to us to find them. Who you are as a person right now, is partially because of your experiences as well as your own willingness to adapt or go around what you’ve been given to deal with. What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger.

      Can you imagine that if you didn’t admit that you needed a job and stopped putting out applications, resumes etc., only sitting at home, praying to God, how slowly it would go in getting a job? The same holds true for most other things as well in Life. Tomorrow, you could talk to the man of your dreams and your future husband but, if you don’t talk to someone, you’ll never meet him, right? Well, every single problem that you have in Life, is the same way. You have to get your intentions and issues out there for others to be able to know that you need and want something before they can offer you up help in any way. As I’ve said, ask yourself if you believe that God can work through other people. 🙂

      NEVER GIVE UP HOPE! NEVER STOP TRYING!

      This is a LONG response to your comment so, I shall end here for now with a HUGE HUG! XO

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  3. I guess I’m one of the lucky ones. I deal with today and not tomorrow and I rarely worry. I guess I saw how my Mother worried about everything and it was usually for nothing. Things that I have no control over I give to God and get on with my life. I want to enjoy my days and worrying about tomorrow takes my joy away from today.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’ve got it down pat then Cathy! Congratulations!!! I mean that with all sincerity as one who is trying to learn how to do what you are and have already been doing. Can you pass on some of your wisdom as to HOW to do this?
      What did your mother’s constant worrying teach you and how?
      How did you achieve this inner peace and quit the worrying when you’d seen it from your mother (i.e.: did you realize that it did no good?)
      Please share! I want to learn and I know that readers will want to as well. 🙂
      HUGS! XO XO XO

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      1. I think that seeing my Mother worrying all the time about everything God forbid this and that. I realized that we have no control over what might happen no matter how much we worry. and how much time she wasted worrying about things that never even happened. She could never understand how I went to sleep if my kids weren’t home yet. She would say God forbid an accident and I would say someone will call ,it would drive her crazy. I don’t put negative things out in the universe ever that’s asking for trouble. I just deal with things as they happen and try my best to do all I can do for the situation and then let it go. If it is a health issue I do my research and take control of it and if my Dr. does not listen to me I simply change to a new one. So I guess in the end you have to change the way you think one day at a time with baby steps and start letting go of negativity in your life. ( like worrying about not seeing your daughter before you die so why worry about it now hopefully that won’t happen for a long time deal with it at the time ) I think that is why I have inner peace, control what you can and let go of what you cannot. Also get involved in your hobbies it is like meditation you get so involved with the project that your not thinking about anything else. I wish that I had the writing skills that you do. But I hope this helped some.
        Love you Girl

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Thank you so very much Cathy for all of this.
          I’ve just been thinking about what you were saying. It’s all about CONTROL isn’t it? We all want it for the most part. We all want to know what we can do about things and be able to do it. We’d control every situation if we could…to OUR satisfaction.
          Unfortunately, The Universe has its own ideas and no matter what we do, it’s going to do what it’s going to do. Worrying isn’t going to change that no matter how much of it we do. When we have no control, we have no control and it’s learning to recognize when we don’t, letting it go as you’ve said.
          I grew up in a family that not only worried but, actually caused it as well. There was always a Life or Death Situation to deal with. I say that with sincerity. It literally meant death if the right decisions weren’t made and done right. Both of my parents toyed with deadly actions and unfortunately, both of them died young though, not for the reasons that they were giving one another. I learned from a young age to parent my parents to keep them alive but, in the end, they died from issues that were totally unrelated to what they had me worried about. I’ve carried that type of reaction along with me my entire life and treat every situation as though if I don’t do my best about everything, the world around me will crumble. For the most part, it has in a lot of ways but, I can’t say that it’s for lack of trying on my part to turn it around. It just IS. All of the worrying in the world isn’t going to change what will be. It’s like the old Doris Day saying, “What will be, will be”.
          Hopefully, other readers will join in on this discussion now too. The input and ideas are greatly appreciated.
          Thank you, Cathy!
          HUGS….as always! XO
          XO

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    2. Hi Cathy and Ponderinglifetoo,

      My mom is the exact same way and because I am the only child and live with her, her way of thinking effects mine especially when she says her issues out loud or when I can sense tension. Her thoughts easily transfer to me but when I leave her surrounding, I just say to myself, whats the worst that could happen? I will go to jail, die, be fined, get sick…. why do those things scare us if we are good people and have a place in god’s arms? I think fear is a natural emotion especially with all the changes happening in life but faith is also natural but were not all taught to have faith. I have a Muslim background but my mother never taught me to have faith in God, Jesus or any god figure. She actually would always curse God and throw tantrums as if he is a person. She is a great person at heart and helps so many people by giving them money, helping them in their personal life, etc. She has even taken two massive loans to help her sisters and their kids and never asked anything but love and respect but unfortunately she was deceived. The issue is she is seeking love and validation from humans rather than from God and that’s why she is overly stressed and never lets things flow. She also gives more than she expects, god never asked people to give more than their capacity in order for him to give back. He will give you when he wants to and giving back should be done at the level of your capacity.

      Worrying is also due to impatience, patience is the hardest skill to practice and with the world moving forward so fast, its getting harder to master this skill. You think everything is evolving so fast for everyone, but everyone has spent time mastering and executing their plans. We only see the fruit but we never see the branch, the bark or the root, the stem…etc.

      I have always wanted to exchange thoughts and opinions with people but it is so hard nowadays especially when everyone immediately wants to criticize you and then act hypocritical.

      Anyway ladies I hope you have an amazing day and I loved reading your posts.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hello Yasmeen My Friend:

        I find it wonderful that you’ve found a way through God, to deal with this crazy life we are all going through. Having faith in something helps so much to get us through the tough times. I’m so happy for you that you’ve found that faith in God, trust in Him and believe in Him.

        Of course, I cannot know the answer to this question and likely, no one else does either but, I’m just going to put it out there.

        Could your mom be doing God’s work, without knowing it? That’s something that I was pondering when I was reading your response. Like I’ve said, I’m sure none of us can answer that question. It’s simply one that I had as I was following your thoughts here.

        You don’t have to answer this in public if you don’t wish to but, could it be that your mom was raised in a home while growing up where she had to be quite adult before she was supposed to be? By that, I mean, did your mother perhaps, take on more than she should have in worrying at a young age?

        The reason that I’ve asked that question (whether you ask her, answer it to yourself or to everyone here…makes no difference) is because I was raised in a home where my parents were unable to live a truly functional and happy life. I was dumped with their issues, problems and everything else as well that a child should not have to go through. Unfortunately, that led me to WORRY about everything and everyone. In my case, it was always made to appear as a “Life or Death” situation between my parents. In other words, one would die if I didn’t do what was needed, wanted, expected or not expected by them. I gave and gave to them until it became a lifestyle pattern that became ingrained into my being. Sadly, I recognize that in myself and where it comes from but, it’s extremely hard to erase old patterns of thinking like that. I, like your mom, have given until I cannot give anymore. I worried endlessly and yes…I even prayed to God, asking Him to help me as the burdens became far too much in every direction of my life.

        Sadly, my parents and one of my brothers, passed away at very young ages in spite of my best efforts as well as my prayers to God. Worry, took the place of God because I figured that God wasn’t doing anything to help me or anyone else for that matter.

        I have raised my daughter in the opposite way. She is a grown adult now and no longer lives with me. I instilled both religion as well as how to be herself and enjoy life. I did not want her growing up, having to feel what I did while growing up. I wanted her to enjoy her childhood years, teen years and provide a good education for her. I’ve also helped both my deceased brother as well as my youngest brother (still alive) but, one died and the other has been in trouble in one way or another for most of his life. I have given money until I was unable to pay my own bills. I have been shut out of people’s lives and don’t understand why. I’ve been there for all of them in their times of need and well beyond. I’ve gone beyond what I really should have done as well. And, most of all, I prayed and asked God for help and left it with Him.

        I’m happy to find that you, Yasmeen, have found a path that makes you feel secure. Worry is useless. It does NO good. As a matter of fact, it only gets one into trouble with others. We do have limited control over our lives for all intents and purposes. As Doris Day sang, “what will be, will be.”

        I grew up with Christian religions (Anglican, converted to Catholicism) and lived beside a Mosque believe it or not. We were 2 doors away from it. I’ve learned a lot from religions. I think they all lead to the same path and destination in the end but, that’s my personal opinion only. It doesn’t make me right, of course as no one truly knows for sure except those who have gone from this realm and, they don’t come back to tell us about it.

        One story does touch me. Jesus (in Christian religions) was said to have done God’s work and be His son. Yet, Jesus was shunned by others, deceived, betrayed and ultimately, murdered/executed for being so. God did not save him and though it’s said that he wasn’t saved for a reason (to prove that Life goes on beyond this one), I have to ask if perhaps, your mom, with her wonderful heart but, misguided intentions, might be doing something like Jesus did? She is, after all, Human. She will have to let off some of the pressure of her troubles with someone and unfortunately, you are the one she has chosen to do so with. Perhaps, you are strong enough to handle it? Maybe, your faith in God makes you stronger? Whatever it may be that’s happening, I do believe that you and your mom are BOTH part of God and doing God’s work but, in differing ways. Your mom sounds as though she is suffering and you are able to offer her some comfort. You, on the other hand, are learning “balance” by putting your faith into God. Your mother needs you, you need her and God and yet, both of you are likely acting through God and doing his work for Him. Both of you are doing God’s work in your own ways.

        Love and Light Always…. XO XO XO

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