AUDIO VERSION: (Transcript below for those who prefer to read but,…it’s a bit different than the Audio Version)
There is so much empathy out there for many spoiled/entitled children that society tends to place blame on the parent first versus the child. After all, it has to be the parent’s faults, right? It can’t be the child’s. The child is more often than not, believed before the parent is believed. To not see the flaws in how Society has been party to how our children were raised, how these kids were given praise for poor behaviour by multi-million dollar studied school systems that later proved to be garbage and withdrawn, spoiled attitudes of the children who were treated as though they could do no wrong but, everyone else could, their music, their friends, the television programs and movies, the entitlement feelings because of all of the previous points and having been given rewards for even simply showing up or making even a half-assed attempt at most things, parents giving their children everything they could possibly give them in these times, even going without things for themselves, treating their child/children like royalty and so much more, is like throwing the baby out with the bathwater and proof of a warped, unbalanced society and set of “professionals” whose only real source of education has come from text books with theories that will likely be proven wrong or at the least, updated down the road because they didn’t work.
With so many children out there, reading crap sites, filled with garbage and becoming armchair psychologists because of these YouTube Videos or articles written by “experts” who have more time and money than they need, these kids will diagnose their parents with mental disorders that don’t fit and don’t exist in their parents. What’s next? Medications like anti-depressants for both the estranged child and the parents? More psychobabble that doesn’t work but, brings patients back and back to line the therapist’s pockets and fill people’s heads with more garbage that will likely make things worse rather than better between everyone in a family?
If I have done anything wrong as a parent, I have asked my adult child, over and over again only to be met with the inability to be answered. I’ve recognized that it’s because my child cannot figure out what it is or it’s unrelated to me as a parent. I’ve reached out so many times now that 3 therapists have told me to “cut out trying” as it’s “useless” to continue trying now.
The net and book shelves are filled to the brim with whining, complaining, entitled, spoiled, adult estranged children, voicing their woes as to the way that they are and were parented with “woe’s me” so thick that it makes me want to vomit or laugh or both. When I read most of this stuff, I want to scream. Pretty much all of it is so pathetically superficial and selfish in nature that it doesn’t even warrant reading. It’s actually, laughable to say the least. Yet, there is little out there for parents of estranged children who are hurting, grieving and in the dark about why this has all taken place. Why? It’s not because of the parent. It’s because Society, the media, the net and so many other sources have implanted these kids with the idea that somehow, saying “no” to something means that their parents are somehow bad parents and to blame for whatever negative these kids feel. Society and higher educational systems have also set this type of thinking up for these kids to feed off of, let alone one another and commiserate with and over.
If we want to know what’s really alienating our children from us as parents, it’s pieces like the ones that over flow on the net, written by so-called “experts” who take the sides of these entitled feeling young adults and bolster their gripes. They’re making a living off of this type of thinking and writings because the target age group are the 18 to 49 year olds. If it meant another dollar in their pockets or a medical or psychological journal article, they’d be having parents down on their knees, begging their child to step on them, wipe their feet and walk off with the idea that they are right and the parents are or were wrong.
I have NEVER told, wanted or even insinuated that my child leave in any way. I have been here for my child through thick and thin. The real issue with my child? A partner who has both a mental issue as well as a drug addiction and now gotten her into it as well. Lies, finding weak spots and using them within my child, telling her how to think and feel about everything are to blame. Before he came into her life, we had a family and a child as part of our lives. Now…she’s gone and professionals such as this one, who wrote this piece are also party to the distance.
I wonder what would happen were the shoe to be on these psychologist’s or media author’s foot and it were their child or children who were doing this to them or were to do so in the future? What would they be saying then? Would they say, “it was all my fault. I was a bad parent and I need to reach out first and apologize to my kid?” Or, would they change their tunes? Now that would be interesting to see and hear, wouldn’t it? Of course, they’d likely never let it out in public, would they? That might mean having to admit that half of today’s psychology is full of bull droppings. They can’t make money off of doing that, can they and isn’t that what they want to do? How many of these “experts” are really out there to help others through crises like this instead of making money? The answer is simple. Ask any or all of them for free sessions because you truly want to know what went wrong and can’t afford their fees. You’d soon find out that most, if not all of them would have a reason why they couldn’t do it. You can buy their book or watch their DVD or download copies for a fee. That is less money and will help.
Being a parent in this situation isn’t easy. It’s painful, hurtful and troublesome to our lives. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy but, there’s a tiny part of me that wishes that some of these know-it-all “experts” would experience this to simply get a taste. Maybe, they’d quickly change their minds on what they say, who they believe first and how they deal with it. Or, maybe, they’d keep it all one huge secret in order to go on making money or a name for themselves?
Either way, from my little corner of life to yours, if I were a betting, drinking person, I’d be placing my bet and drinking to the idea that these so-called professionals would carry on as they’re doing now no matter how right or wrong they were proven to be. Of course, I am not a gambler and I don’t drink or I would be out there, doing it.
Be well. Love and Light.
Have a great day or evening.