You’re Not Everyone’s Cup of Tea

AUDIO VERSION: (For those who prefer to listen)

not everyone's cup of tea
No one is everyone’s cup of tea.  Accept it and learn that once you enter yourself publicly, you’re going to have to grow a thicker skin as you’ve opened yourself up to more criticism. 

You are never going to be everyone’s “cup of tea” no matter what you do or don’t do, say or don’t say.  Everyone will always have their critics as well as people who agree and love them as they are.  Why try to make everyone like you or why get angry when they don’t like you?

It doesn’t matter if you’re talking about politics or the brand of tea or coffee that you prefer, you’re going to run into people who will disagree with you and perhaps, try to tell you that you’re wrong because certain brands or types of the beverages are un-healthy for one reason or another.  It also won’t matter if you prefer a certain make of clothes.  There’s going to be people who are not going to take into account that you can’t afford Gucci, Prada or even Walking On A Cloud shoes and can only afford Walmart’s brand, George.  Likewise, there are going to be those who feel that money was wasted on the higher brand named clothing that could have gone elsewhere.  It could even be as simple as the fact that you’re Christian and someone else is Jewish or vice versa.  You may remind someone of their aunt who they can’t stand because you look like her so, they’re going to hate you, without even knowing you. The possibilities are endless for people not liking you.

Whether you talk a hot streak for an hour about a piece of lint on the floor or you’re the dormouse, hovered in a corner, not saying much of anything to be liked or disliked, there are going to be those who won’t like you.  The sooner we get used to that fact, the better off we’ll all be.

“You can please some of the people some of the time but,  you can’t please all of the people all of the time.”

I don’t know who truly started that saying but, I do know it to be a true statement.  However, what I also know is that once you have put yourself or your thoughts, feelings, opinions or anything else out there in a broader form, you’ve opened yourself up to a wider audience.  When one does that type of thing, one opens themselves up to more critics.  This is more true of those who are doing so on the internet or a media source where one can make themselves more readily available to many more people and especially, those who have had bad days, weeks or months and feel powerful behind their keyboards or even cameras where no one knows where they live without specifically pointing it out and being foolish by doing so.

“If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen,” is another phrasing that I have heard many times over the years but, have no one to attribute it to off the top of my head.  It’s another truth.  In other words, if you think that everyone is going to love everything that you’ve got to say or will do or have done and don’t like it when someone doesn’t agree with you, it’s obvious that you can’t take the heat and had best be staying out of the kitchen.  Don’t put your opinions, thoughts or otherwise out there for the public to see or hear.  You’d be better off on Facebook alone, with a closed wall, open only to friends whom you know think like you do.  Even then, you’d better be prepared for the idea that friends are not always going to agree with everything you say or do.  They may not attack you for it (or they may) but, having no opinions whatsoever, makes you a dull person who people will talk about anyway.  There’s simply no escaping criticism on the net.

If you think that you’re going to change people’s minds to a kinder version of you by attacking them, you’re wrong.  

The more that you try to counter attack someone for their beliefs about you, the worse you are going to make not only the situation for yourself but, the more that you’re going to distance yourself from that person.  What began as an opinion from that person now becomes a huge honking vendetta where they will amass people from the woodwork to defend themselves.  It’s certainly not going to make people like you more.  Actually, it will have more people angry and hating you more.  It’s not a smart move to have made to have verbally assaulted someone who doesn’t agree with you, your actions or points of view.  It bolsters and fuels the dislike or what wasn’t dislike but rather disagreeance, will eventually become full blown dislike and even hatred in some cases.

Once you’ve put yourself out there as a public figure or your opinions as open to everyone to see, you’ve essentially opened yourself up for taking criticism.  It’s that plain and simple.

If you’ve put your thoughts and opinions out there, in the public, you can be assured that you’re going to get those who love your points of view and those who hate it.  Depending on the subject, you could even get death threats (as I’ve had) but, one thing is for sure, you’re going to get feedback of some type.  It can’t be avoided and one should be aware of that fact before they make themselves and their opinions as part of publicly known figures and thoughts.  It’s inevitable and can’t be stopped.

“Me thinks thou does’t protest too much.”

When you’ve got people who go to lengths to do a search for themselves and tackles anything or anyone who says anything contrary to you while you rave and rant on, you’re essentially showing everyone and everyone that you’re afraid of those who don’t like you, your opinion or what you have done or not done.  The moment that you do that, you’re demonstrating your weaknesses and people are going to prounce on it.  In other words, now not only do people disagree with you but, you’re offending them.  That’s not going to open up a love-fest especially, when you’re on their stomping grounds, with those who agree with what that specific person feels, does or believes.  It’s akin to throwing down the gauntlet and saying, “gloves are off”.  You’re opening yourself up to more criticism.  Moreso, you’re offering up or baring your weakest spots.  Those who are so inclined, are going to leap upon it and take advantage of it.  If you think that you were angry before, you’re going to be even more angry once you’ve opened Pandora’s Box too.

Finally, there are people out there who are going to seek you out to slam you simply because you’ve opened yourself up to it.  Accept it.  Get used to it and expect it.   

The moment that you open yourself up, there are those who are young, immature, ready for a fight and feel invincible because they are anonymously behind a keyboard, able to say whatever they want with the feeling that there’s little that anyone can do to them.  It’s part of being on a public platform.  Politicians, columnists, discussion panelists and everyone else who is open to the public about topics with their opinions, thoughts etc., have long since learned to close an eye to this type of childish behaviour.  It’s one thing to have something intelligently stated as a rebuttal but, quite another to hurl personal insults.  An intelligent rebuttal refutes the points with intelligent points.  Personal attacks are not only infantile and show the mentality behind such people but, they also portray that person’s mental status as being unformed and severely unintelligent, lacking in common sense and any form of respect.  That’s telltale and not welcome anywhere or by anyone.  A warning or two will be issued but, if it persists, that person will be banned eventually in one way or another.  Be careful on where you go, who you say things to and how you say it.

Especially true is when you want people’s hard earned money so that you don’t have to work, you’ve now got money coming into your pockets from these people.  They are going to expect a lot more than something someone would create or manufacture without being paid for it.  There’s something to be said about asking for money from people for what you do.  Quality and accountability are wanted and expected once money enters the equation.  That’s opening one up to even more not only expectation but, also criticisms if it’s not delivered or one starts to slack.  It’s justified critiquing because people are paying for it.  It’s no longer a hobby or a vanity or ego thing.  It’s a service that people are paying for and you’re opening yourself up to more warranted criticisms.

From my little corner of life to yours, be aware that being out in the public, be it a book, a blog a video, an article, a product, service or otherwise, you’re going to take flack.  More to the point, not everyone will be liked no matter what they do or don’t do.  Accept that fact or get out of the kitchen.

Be well. Love and Light,

Have a great day or evening.

Published by ponderinglifetoo

I'm a wife, mother, artist, photographer and bookkeeper. I love writing out my thoughts in journals but, am finding my way to sharing these with others now.

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