Joan moved in with John over a decade ago. Joan used to be bright minded, full of life, wanting to be social with everyone she met. John on the other hand had always been somewhat of an anti-authoritarian. Refusing to go to school or work, John was tossed from his family’s home. John roamed the country, working odd jobs that he really couldn’t keep. In all honesty, John couldn’t keep a job for long though he’d word it differently to anyone who asked.
Along came John’s family who owned a family business. Out of pure fear and guilt, they gave John a job within the company. Though John would proclaim to all who listened that he “saved the family biz”, the truth was that John’s family had given him a job in order to keep John from the streets. More key was that this position afforded John not only his parent’s wealth, financial help each month but, also a position that offered John all sorts of perks. By the way, John even drove while on this substance and still does.
Once Joan moved in with John, John saw the opportunity with which to kick up a fuss with his family about having to work a few hours on a Saturday morning. After all, John truly didn’t have to rely upon his family quite as much since he now was getting his bills paid for by Joan perhaps, half and half. Reality was that Joan was drowning herself and her life by moving in with John the moment that she did it.
Long before Joan moved in with John, Joan didn’t like John. She wasn’t even attracted to him and told him to shape up or ship out. John on the other hand, used his substance use and got Joan onto it as well. Joan was now hooked and systematically, through control and manipulation that are inconsequential to this topic, John managed to pull Joan away from every single person from Joan’s past to live what Joan had once declared was a “Frat Life”.
At the age of nearing 40 years of age, both Joan and John are now hooked on having to have a substance as part of their daily lives. Though advanced in age, neither Joan nor John have changed much about their lives. They are still attending concerts with regularity and generally living life through a haze of the same substance that John got for both of them. Video games, Pay Per View fights such as UFC, watching programs downloaded from the internet, eating and some smaller almost teenaged things were all that both of them have done in over a decade.
Concluding Joan and John’s story here, Joan had been sucked into a vortex, become an enabler and was unable to see for herself, the mental illness and control that John had over her and everyone that she knew, including everyone except those that John had deemed as “acceptable” to him. Little did Joan realize how devastating this was to her life but, she also couldn’t see how under the belt that both John and his substances had become to both of them, their lives and relationships with all others. Life had become about these substances, how to obtain them, use them, possibly combine them, her as an enabler and both of them had dropped the idea of how to grow up. In sort, Joan had made her once larger and open life, closed in and dependent upon an obviously mentally ill, substance abuser and had become one herself due to his influence over her.
It May Not Have The Withdrawal Symptoms That Alcohol Does But, Any Substance Used Daily or Regularly Is A Dependency At Minimum Or Even An Addiction
When people live getting stoned or high most of the time to every single day, it’s akin to needing to see Life through the haze of some substance. In other words, that person(s) cannot see living without some sort of aid in order to be happier or to simply live life. What is that saying about Life, the person(s), those who become ill with them and whatever it is that they do with their lives.
It doesn’t matter if it’s coffee, sugar or whatever it may be. It’s all natural. Coffee beans, sugar cane, even tobacco are all natural. There are many more substances that people use and even abuse but, the argument of “I can’t stand this because it kills” while saying at the same time and being high, “it’s all natural. I’m good!” Being an all natural substance is a poor reason as many substances are considered natural, including alcohol. What’s even worse is that if someone has to live their lives through the haze of a stimulus or downer of some type or another, one is literally “hooked” on that feeling and they cannot tolerate life without that substance no matter how innocuous it may seem to them. Not having a hangover of sorts doesn’t mean that it’s any less “addictive” or a “dependency”. It’s a dependency in order to live life in a fashion that one has become accustomed to having, feeling, seeing and being.
If one proclaims that something is “natural” and therefore, harmless, one would be wrong. Declaring that it only enhances one’s life, makes it more interesting or whatever it is that they can claim that it does for them, is essentially saying that they cannot stand life without having some enhancement factor. What is that truly saying about the person then? It’s saying that they have some sort of disorder whereby they require something on a daily basis in order to be able to live their lives otherwise, it would appear boring to them or out of focus.
“Ooooo…colours seem brighter, music sounds better. The higher that I am, the better life seems!”
In other words it’s the same as saying that Life, in and of itself, music or whatever it is, including the company of a partner or friend is not as exciting without that substance clouding their vision or making it all more vivid or exciting or whatever it is that they proclaim that it does for them and therefore, life and everyone in it. This is especially true if those around them also have the same affliction. Worse than that are those who will only surround themselves with others who accept or do the same thing as they do.
Add to it that even If one has to use it on an all day, daily basis, even if an alleged natural substance that has some sort of psychological change associated with it, one can say that one is “hooked” on that feeling to say the least. In short, they are unable to function in life without it to change or alter their visions and experience of life. In other words, it’s a psychological crutch that they cannot get past doing. The longer that they do it, the more entrenched they become with and in that lifestyle. At a certain point, that substance is no longer enough. More are added until it gets to a point where there is rather little time in a day when that person is not using that substance. That’s a problem for many reasons but, suffice it to say that everyone around them in this world as well as the world itself, may be unsatisfying for them unless that substance is part of their lives. What a shame.
Natural censors that everyone should have are totally removed by certain substances which renders that individual capable of a great deal of damage to not only themselves or anyone living with them but, also to other people who plain and simply don’t feel the need to partake of that substance. It can even lead to downright insults and false accusations towards others. That’s angering to say the least as no one wants or needs to be insulted by someone who is using a substance in order to be this way. Disagree with that usage and others are in for being ousted from the user’s life unceremoniously to boot.
There’s a huge difference between someone who has a bit of the substance every once in awhile however, in most cases, those who not only use it daily but, proclaim it to be a cure-all for everything that ails them. That’s a red light for others. It’s a defence for the substance that these people have come to love the feeling of doing. How many of us can say that we know someone who is truly addicted or dependent upon something say a line like, “I can quit anytime that I want to. I just don’t want to quit”? Most of us can say that we’ve heard it a million times from those who are hooked on something or other.
“I’ve been doing (blank) every day for 15 years. At first I thought it was fun. Now, I’m finding that I have no friends, no family and my only aim is my addiction every day.”~A User’s admission~
“Continuous heavy use just isn’t healthy in every possible meaning of that word. I’ve been around 24/7 stoners and it’s not a pretty sight. Their motivation is shot. All they want to do is lie around getting stoned and talking like Dennis Hopper. Other people have contempt for them—and rightly so. They’re like alcoholics. Weedaholics. Deeply pathetic.”~Another Daily User’s Admission~
“Mentally, it will most likely sap your motivation and replace it with a bunch of paranoid ideas, which you will embrace as revealed truth, believing you’re an independent thinker when actually you’re easy prey for any conspiracy theory going around.”~Anonymous True Story, Heavy User Admittance~
“This is my own opinion and it is not based on anything more than how they both (blank psychelics) affect me. Using both of them all day, every day, as I have done for many years in my younger days — is downright dangerous and stupid. Being a drug addict is a sure fire way to destroy your life, make you feel bad about yourself and make every aspect of your life — relationships, jobs, driving, time management…etc — worse. Period. End of discussion.”~Heavy Former User’s Experience And Opinion~
Take a good look at some people’s lives as well. There’s a clue to it. If someone hasn’t moved forward with their lives, are doing essentially the same things as they were years ago, haven’t grown up with the rest of their friends in terms of moving forward, are stuck in the same surroundings, can’t seem to keep friends other than those who agree with them and their lifestyle, one has to also say that this person is stunted emotionally, mentally and socially. It’s likely that they will not move beyond that level of living either. Once that person has been stuck for years in the same position in Life, one can see that the person has a mental/emotional issue that needs addressing at the source which happens to be themselves. Sadly, anyone who also joins in with them is not only enabling them and their lifestyle to remain as it is, their mental unhealth to go unchecked or repaired in some way but, that person has also become ill as well and not recognize the control that they have had exerted upon them by the sick person. It all happens so slowly that the unwitting victim can become as mentally unhealthy, controlled, manipulated and use the same substances as their counterpart. In short, they become enablers to the original user.
As in the story of Joan and John, Joan had become John’s enabler. Sadly and pathetically, Joan is not only enabling John to continue on with his habit by joining and condoning it through her own usages but, she’s kept John from getting the real professional help that he needs in order to get healthy. It may not be possible for John to get well but, as long as Joan continues on with her stance with John, John only becomes stronger with his lifestyle, mental and emotional unhealthy ways as well as Joan having become ill now herself as well. No one can help either one of them at this point in time because they’ve become entwined in a life and substance use issue that they don’t see as a problem. Everyone else around them may see it as such. They may also only have those who are as ill as they are surrounding them but, then again, it doesn’t seem to matter. Both now have issues with John having a mental health issue. If Joan doesn’t see this now, she won’t until or unless she finally wakes up and wants a different life for herself. John at nearly 40 years of age now, likely won’t ever come out of this without proper help. He won’t seek it and neither will Joan as she’s proven. It’s pathetic to see because both Joan and John have lost a lot of people who may have once been part of their lives but, have moved onwards, grown up, have a life of their own and are growing up in a natural way. Joan will never have that now that she has John and his substance use issues as well as his mental health issues.
In case you are still wondering, which I’m sure that you’re not, the substances that I’m referring to here are psychedelic drugs, which started off as simply weed and has escalated from there to others within that category and in Joan and John’s case, more than Joan will know. Many may and can come from the drugs that are spoken of such as LSD, MDMA, Ayhuasca, DMT right on up to possibly Heroin and beyond. Suffice it to say that once one becomes addicted to living their lives under the haze of a substance, there’s little chance that they will be able to live life any other way at a certain point.
From my little corner of life to yours, please don’t make the mistake of thinking that because something is considered “natural”, it’s ok. It’s not. Joan and John are demonstrations of even though real people with names changed to protect my legal rights, that substances used on any regular basis is a dependency to downright addiction no matter what is said or not said. More key is that there’s a mental health issue behind that usage that requires professional help if one can see it and wants to go for it.
As vague as this may all sound, it’s the sad reality of people. Don’t make that mistake. Get help!
Love and Light,
Have a GREAT day or evening!