There is nothing as irrational as attempting to understand irrational thinking with rational thinking.
~Pondering Life Too~
I’m sure that someone at some point has already said something like that, if not those exact words. That being a great possibility though, I mean that with everything in me. If you’re wondering what I’m talking about here, I’m speaking of the idea of estrangement as well as that of addictions and mental health issues. It may be all of them or one or a combination but, the reality is that behaviours like these are not necessarily coming from a rational mind, healthful thinking patterns nor a properly thinking brain. In order to understand that fully, we also have to come to the conclusion that anyone who tries to counter irrationality with rationality is going to lose out that war or battle.
When anyone tries to figure out why someone else would or wouldn’t do something, one cannot use rational thought or thinking because in the cases of estrangement, adult child/children’s abuse, their possible addictions or any combination of those things, one is battling a giant without a weapon of any kind. It’s much like trying to compare apples to a slab of cement. They can’t be compared. That’s the simple truth.
More key here is that we don’t know what we’re playing with because in spite of our best efforts, we cannot think like our estranged adult’s minds. They may think that they have it all figured out but, short of true abuse on our part rather than the imagined abusive actions or words that they will often blame parents of having done to them, slapping labels upon our foreheads as they go along, we cannot think with their brains or influences.
As sad as it is to say, many of us have nothing that needs to be changed within us. Our estranged adult children will see us through the haze of a mental health issue, someone else’s mental health issue or influence, bitterness or hatred of us or because they, themselves simply want someone to blame for their failures within themselves or their lives. Parents are oftentimes, the easiest thing to blame and shame.
Whenever a parent of an estranged adult child tries to figure out what they’ve done wrong that may have caused the estrangement, we risk falling prey or victim to their shame peddling. Why? Because we cannot think as they do, with their clouded minds, thinking patterns or perhaps, dulled intellectual abilities due to either mental unhealthy or warped thinking nor, through those of someone else, their motives as well as possibly substance usage or abuse. It’s impossible for parents to be able to see what their adults see if their minds aren’t working on the same levels. A parent’s brain is not and yes, they will lay blame on that aspect of things as well. We can’t let them do it to us any longer. They’re no more people than parents are people. No matter how much they balk at us and attempt to place their woes upon parents in general, they also have flaws, faults and warts the same as they try to place upon everyone else while both polishing and straightening their own crowns or halos.
If you’re trying to understand what the heck your estranged adult child is thinking, why, how and attempting to straighten that thinking out in them, think again because you’re not able to think on the same path or level that they are. Again, that’s impossible and it’s not possible to think as they do. It’s akin to trying to think with a cat’s brain when you’re not a cat.
From my little corner of life to yours, be aware that there are many factors that make up today’s estrangement fad, trend and epidemic. Trying to figure out the reasons for it is like trying to compare apples to a slab of cement. You’re never going to be able to do it no matter what you try because you’re not them, don’t have their brain and more often than not, it’s them, their influencers, mental health issues or substances which cause their thinking patterns and therefore, choices.
On that note, be well, Love and Light,
Have a GREAT day/evening!