Thought that I’d simply vent here.
My house is still a disaster zone after water pipes burst earlier this year. I’ve had 5 surgeries and side effects from most if not all of them. My cat is diabetic and not eating as well. We’re waiting for her specialist to call back to talk to him. Even her urination numbers have gone up again. Our car has conked out though we’ve replaced parts and had a neighbour help us while we are still searching for another one. If Winter weren’t coming, I’d get a foot powered scooter at this point in time. My own health is not good and it’s likely due to so much stress. I can’t find a darned thing in my home because most thing are in boxes or tossed due to damages from water leaking everywhere. Headaches are painful as are my shoulders and, I may be diagnosed with yet another issue. Having been ripped off by someone else financially, we are living on a pension as hubby is retired and hurting badly for money and HELP. There’s no one around to do so though. Getting estimates has been like pulling teeth during the “busy months” as more than one contractor has said and proven. The ones that we have had, have caused even more damage by their work and we’ve had to eject them from the job. Thousands of dollars that we’ve had to borrow have gone out the window now.
What I thought I had solved or taken a step forward with, has only resulted in 10 steps backwards. Even my hair, having had it dyed recently, turned out to a nasty darker colour which I hope to get reversed but, I’m not counting on it at this point in time. I know, I know, it’s the least of my worries or concerns at this point in time except, I’m going white haired and there’s little left of it as it’s falling out at a rate that would make a wig for someone while leaving me balding. My dentist has been crabbing about my lack of ability to get to see her hygienist more often which costs me every time that I go. My doctor is waiting on test results but, I got ill before the booked tests and couldn’t go, cancelling in enough time they say. My doctor has been angry that this still hasn’t taken place. She can get in line as I’m a mess to say the least and this is only a partial list or, better said, tip of the ole ice berg.
I used to condemn my mother for her drinking alcohol but, at this point in time, I think that drinking might be better than what I’m dealing with. I’m only half joking as I don’t drink alcohol but, I may decide to take it up if this stress continues on.
Equally, I know that there are people out there who have far more serious things happening and, I know that my issues aren’t as horrific as those issues. Still, what little faith that I did have in some form of Higher Power, I’m now fully wavering in and with. The more I seem to try, the harder things seem to get. It’s much like struggling in quick sand to say the least. The harder one tries, the deeper one sinks. I am thinking that perhaps, giving up trying and simply floating through all of this is what will work best but, I’m feeling overwhelmed.
Would anyone reading this happen to have an island somewhere that doesn’t have a phone for the scammers and telemarketers who want to either put me in jail for some non-intelligible reason or want to clean my “ducts” every week? I say that with a chuckle because I’m soon to get rid of my landline. I’m paying for someone sitting on a computerized version of a landline and switching it up whenever they get too close for comfort to being caught. I don’t have the money for them to play around with.
Of course, many of you who will actually read this, will be sitting there, scratching their heads, wondering what in the heck I’m complaining or fretting about as they don’t have more than cardboard over their heads in a sense or, are using public wi-fi to read my whining. I hear you on that. It’s me, feeling sorry for myself and being in a constant state of anxiety. I’m tired of being upset and afraid. That’s all that this is.
There were 2 men who entered an ER at a hospital. One had a broken toe and screamed, moaned and groaned in pain. Another sat across from him, leg bone shattered and sticking out of the skin but, not saying a word. Both were in pain but, one simply showed it more and of course, had a far worse situation than the man with the broken toe.
When the triage nurse called in the man with the broken leg, he said, “no, please take the man with the broken toe. He seems like he’s in far worse pain than I am!”~Unknown Author~
From my little corner of life to yours, may you be having an easier time than I am right now. If not, may you not be the one in true pain. Perhaps, I’m simply the one who has the broken toe while you’re the one with the broken leg?
Be Well, Love and Light…I’m off to buy some alcohol and take up drinking it! Said with a chuckle but, I may.
Have a GREAT day/evening!