Estrangement: Professionals/Experts…STOP IT!

Letter to the “experts” on Estrangement

Dear Expert/Professional:

It has come to attention that your either well-intentioned or perhaps, even sales pitches for your books, articles, or whatever you have put out there, are nothing but huge pushes which aim adults to leap upon the “Estrangement Bandwagon”. You’re not helping anyone. You’re hurting thousands upon thousands of people with your “advice”. Essentially, you’re handing out both the impetus, methods, reasons and licenses to estrange, if not giving out, “How To-Manuals”.

It’s high time to stop doing this type of thing. Do you not realize the amount of damage that you’re doing to not only those you are proclaiming to help but, those who are looking for ways with which to justify their own needs or wants?

Whether you are well-meaning or think that you have all of the answers or perhaps, trying to sell a book or yourself because it hits the marketing age groups, you are doing damage to families in many ways. Why? Why are you doing this?

For some, it may be to line your own pockets because estrangement sells. It’s a fad or a trend. For others, it’s because they no longer need their parents because they have someone else or can sustain themselves on their own. No matter what your intentions are, you are hurting people, many of them, more than anything else. Is it worth it?

As a “professional” you should know that you’re only hearing one side of the story in most cases. People are mental health challenged, liars, have distortions in their thinking and perhaps, have read a great deal on the internet towards building themselves up towards the idea that they “need to estrange”. You above all, should recognize a compulsive liar or one who has been able to take an instance and turn it into a constant thing. Did your courses only cover 10 to 60 minutes in classes on this topic? Do you not know what to do with it all? Were you really only out to line your pockets with office visit charges? What was your motivation for it? Think that over for a moment because you are destroying people and families with it all.

No one would argue that if someone is being physically, emotionally or mentally abused or neglected on any real or constant basis, they have the right or need to gain distance from the person(s) who are doing this sort of thing to them however, one needs to be absolutely certain that this is happening before one utters phrasings, labels or otherwise. To do so goes against Hypocratic Oath where one is to “do no harm”.

With “Dr. Search Engine” at the helm in a lot of cases or forums or whatever, do you not realize that by writing a piece, article or whatever one has placed upon the net, these “kids” are taking it all in as though it’s gospel truth. As one practitioner has told every single patient who walks through his door, “you know just enough to get yourself into trouble but, not enough to get yourself out of it”. How true that is. Many are finding themselves sitting on cell phones, tablets, laptops and other methods whereby they will take whatever you have to say about estranging themselves out of context and attempt to turn things to their advantage or self-diagnose the need to walk away on family, friends and others because they “read it on the net”. Be careful in what you say or don’t say. You’re writing out a prescription for estrangement essentially and you’re doing more harm than you are good to people which goes against all of your training or lack of it.

Please stop handing out prescriptive messages of “walk away” like it’s candy. You don’t truly know the situation and you’re likely causing more harm than good by doing what you’re doing.

One last thing. If you are trying to line your wallet or pockets with sales of any kind or extra visits and billings, you are on a bad path because you are actually harming people and families. Again, you need to ask yourself what you’re doing and at what expense are you doing it? Think about how angry you’d be at someone like yourself who has created a silence or rift within your own family. Don’t think it can happen to you? You’re too good a parent or a son or daughter? Think again. There are dozens more like you out there who can overturn any good that you’ve done like you’ve done to others. Be aware of that fact.

Those Who Have Been Hurt By Your Practises

Published by ponderinglifetoo

I'm a wife, mother, artist, photographer and bookkeeper. I love writing out my thoughts in journals but, am finding my way to sharing these with others now.

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