Are You Afraid Of Speaking Up And Out

Are Parents Afraid of Speaking Out About Estrangement? 

Everyone is an individual.  Circumstances are different.  In other words, no 2 people are alike just as no 2 estrangements are the same.  What is of an issue though are the questions of:

1.  What if my adult or someone I know, know it’s me reading and talking about this issue?

2.  I can’t comment because I’m fearful.  What will this do to my estrangement issues?  Will it make it worse?

As stated above already in the opening, it’s purely individual and, I am not a professional.  I will give some food for thought though on the estrangement issue.

First of all, no one should freely talk about personal issues by using their real name or geographical location on the net.  There are far too many out there in this world, on the net, to distrust in regards to personal information.  If you’re wise, you’ll use an alternative name, email address and even change up certain criteria to ensure that you’re not picked out and recognized.  In other words, make up your screen name and have an email address created solely for the purpose of using it on the net no matter what the topic.

Secondly, ask yourself if you truly believe that keeping quiet totally, even with a concealed identity, is going to change your situation for the better with your estranged adult(s).  A good percentage of parents have been estranged from by their adult “children” now for years and in spite of biting their fists, tongues, keeping quiet, not saying a word, their adults still remain estranged.  Is it going to change your adult’s mind by you keeping quiet until you’re 6′ under if they don’t want to be part of your life?  Only you can answer that for yourself but, look at the odds and situation and think that answer over carefully.  Be honest with yourself, not simply how you think it should be but, how it has been all along.  Has it made any difference for you as a parent and perhaps, grandparent?  Think about the answers you give to yourself.

Thirdly, even if people you know, are indeed, following your every move online and even those who have the latest technology and may be able to detect that it’s you somehow in spite of your covering up, think about what it is that the person is truly doing and why.  Someone who spends as much time as they are, tracking your every move, has a vested interest in doing this.  Remember that it takes time, energy, effort and perhaps, even money for them to do this.  Ask yourself why they’d be doing that, let alone being so interested in you.  Were it to be your adult child, there’s some care there in them as to what you’re doing even if it appears to you to be negative in tone.  If it’s someone else in your life, they’re up to no good and they’re going to get you one way or another.  Does that mean that you should never, ever speak a word out lest someone else twist and turns you, your words, your actions, your buying power or whatever it is that they’ve chosen to focus on against you and you’ve bottled it all up inside because of that person?  What’s that doing to you, as a person?  Where are your rights as a person to be a person or are you a silent puppet?

Writing to me is great.  I truly enjoy and like it when commenters write to me.  That’s why I put up my email address for everyone to see on YouTube.  However, I will say that while I respect everyone’s rights to do as they feel best doing, I do have issues with those who proclaim that they read or watch every single thing that I do or say but, cannot comment on anything lest they are found out.  In other words, if someone has never commented, liked or been actively involved in their own circumstances or issues, how can I help them?

While I have trouble getting around to everyone who comments or emails me, let it be known that I do read and take what everyone has to say into account.  It’s the timing for me, what I’m trying to do or not do in other ways (remember that my only or sole purpose in Life isn’t to convince other parents or grandparents what they should do or shouldn’t.  I do have a job and other things as well as people in my life as well who all need some of my energy and time too as well as simply to put up my feet at times too and watch a good movie or two as part of my mental health and physical health).  This all goes to say that if you aren’t commenting or taking part in anything that I’m saying or doing, please don’t expect to have the white glove service from all of this either.  I can only hope that what I have already said has been enough to help in some way or another.

Let it also be acknowledged that if I write a piece in this space (which I have been doing since 2012 by the way), do a YouTube video and take the time, energy and effort to do so, even with having to borrow a camera and having even borrowed a computer but, are only getting a couple of hundred views in spite of having done over a year and a half’s work at writing this piece, I’m not going to do it forever or for everyone and for free.  I get NOTHING from Facebook posts, emails, YouTube videos, Twitter or anything else that I do.  I do it because I care.  End of story.  If no one is watching, reading, liking or few of you, I’m not going to continue doing it.  That would be stupid of me.  I’m wasting time, energy and effort that I could be turning onto other things.

That being said, I do care about what’s going on with everyone who has been estranged from.  I simply want to hear from those who are in this situation even though it is under an assumed name with circumstances changed.

On that note, I will end here and allow you all to decide what helps, why, what you plan to do or not do and I’m about to go on with making dinner.

Be well, Stay safe,

Love and Light!



Published by ponderinglifetoo

I'm a wife, mother, artist, photographer and bookkeeper. I love writing out my thoughts in journals but, am finding my way to sharing these with others now.

3 thoughts on “Are You Afraid Of Speaking Up And Out

  1. Yes, honeyandpapa, I recognize that many parents are truly afraid of commenting on the topic.

    I see that much.

    I will say though that I’m about at the end of my “opinion” on the topic though and I’m finding other things to go on with now as well.

    Thank you so very much for your comment! I won’t necessarily be stopping this altogether but, I will surely not be putting up as much about it now.


  2. I read every one and you have helped me so much! But I am one in many who are reserved at commenting.

    Thank you for bringing the his topic to the front lines along with your extensive research.

    Liked by 1 person

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