Estrangement Reasons: Are You Giving Your Kids Too Much

Think that this looks wonderfully right? Read on

If mothers didn’t exist, there wouldn’t be any one of us on this planet. Did anyone get that point?

If fathers didn’t exist, there could be as many women in the world as one wanted but, without sperm there would be no human life.

How grateful is one for the idea that all mothers aren’t worthy of being here then? What about fathers?

Are you ungrateful of having life? is there something wrong with you having a breath to take, your heart beating or the ability to think even if it is warped, high or otherwise?

Do you believe that all parents are out to hurt you because it’s fun or to make you do things that you may not want to do?

I hated having to go to bed at a certain time but, I was told to do so. What would this world be or come to if every parent simply let their children make up their own bed times? Wouldn’t one be calling their parent or parents “bad parents” no matter what was done or not done with them by their parents?

I didn’t want to clean or go to school or do things that normal kids are doing or have to do and yet, if I didn’t do those things, I was scolded. Should I have been let to do whatever I wanted to do and my mother and father left to do as they wanted to do?

What would have been said by each child or adult if that were to have been the case?

Well, I could tell you one thing. I would have gone to bed and gotten up whenever I felt like it. I may have fallen asleep during classes and not done any homework. The house would have fallen apart because my parents wouldn’t have done laundry or cleaning, the grass would have grown until city by-laws sent us messages about what may be lurking in that grass and frankly, I wouldn’t have eaten more than peanut butter on a slice of bread for 3 meals a day or until it ran out because my parents wouldn’t have done the shopping for food. Oh yes, they may have done as they pleased, skipped the dishes and prep work as well as the clean-up from meals but, then again, they wouldn’t have wanted to have worked either so, there would be no money coming in for restaurants or groceries or cars or anything else that I wanted or them.

If a parent tries to get a child, especially a grown child, out and with others because all that they did was sit around the house, they’re considered “bad parents” as the kids, adults or not, would have continued watching tv or playing video games. When they couldn’t function in the world because they had no skills with which to get jobs, work wasn’t provided for them by parents, or whatever the case may have been, they were considered to be “bad parents”, toxic, narcissistic or “owing”.

Personally, while I’ve long since seen those who have had it all, calling parents “bad” because parents didn’t do as they wanted them to do or when, I have to laugh over those who will tell other parents “yeah, you OWE us. We didn’t ask to be born and you took away our rights”. That has always given me quite the chuckle. Why?

Let’s take a look at Susie and Johnny who got together because they felt like misfits and stayed together, blaming parents for everything that they don’t like about their lives.

Now, let’s also look at their parents who provided everything that both of them wanted other than each other while having troubles in their own lives and being unhappy with things as they are. While everyone has their issues to deal with in Life, Johnny and Susie only had themselves to cope with and their own wants and issues. Parents be damned and blamed. I heard one of them utter (amongst many other complaints) that “all grey hairs” were stupid.

However Johnny and Susie live or wish to live, it requires work and working. Even if Johnny is provided with a job by his parents and, was made to do things that Johnny grumbled about having to do, or as ordered by his parent(s), the point is that Johnny has been provided with a job by his parent(s) and a way with which to live the life that he wanted.

Susie wasn’t provided with a job as her family didn’t have one to offer her however, they did pay for her to go to a university and get a degree, along with help, support and whatever else that her parents could provide, including a car for her to use.

Neither Susie nor, Johnny were happy though with either set of parents because their parents weren’t exactly the way that either of them wanted their parents to be.

If we were to take a giant step back in time though, we’d be able to see that both Johnny and Susie were provided for by their parents way past the ages at which a lot of parents would have told them to get a job and move out and onwards. Their parents did provide for them though until Johnny and Susie met.

Neither of them were capable of being normal people with normal lives though they thought that smoking and doing other drugs was the way. Someone had to pay for it though. That had to be Johnny and Susie. In spite of Johnny having been given several jobs within the parent(s) business to keep him in work, Johnny managed to grumble and so did Susie moan and groan, gripe and complain about not having what she wanted from her parents either.

Enter the idea that had neither set of parents given a damn past the time that they were both 16 years of the age of being able to leave, both of them would have nothing. It was their parents who allowed Johnny and Susie to have what they have.

Also part of the thought was that were either set of parents to have NOT done everything that they could, both Johnny and Susie wouldn’t have been able to be alive, let alone, be together. Both sets of parents had done more than enough for these now adults.

What if they hadn’t have done as they did? What then?

It’s far too convenient for both Johnny and Susie to blame parents for not being as they wanted them to be. What if their parents hadn’t done as Johnny and Susie wanted all along?

You’d have guessed right. Johnny and Susie would have been blaming their parents for not being parents to them even though they were past the age of 16 years of age. Had either set of parents not provided what they have and had given to Johnny or Susie and gone on with their own lives, or even divorces, Johnny and Susie would be up the creek without paddles.

Would they have met at all?

Likely not. The reason is as visible and plain as the nose on your face (hopefully, you have one that is as this is just an expression to have used). They would have blamed their parents for not doing enough as they were and are doing right now.

You see, there is no way to have pleased either one of them. Parents were damned if they did and damned if they didn’t. It’s as simple as it gets.

The real problem is that both sets of parents tried to give both Johnny and Susie whatever it was that they wanted in one way or another and within reason. The parents did however, manage to give both of these now adults, whatever they could give in whatever ways.

Today, Johnny and Susie aren’t speaking to 3 of their 4 parents. Why? Because the parents aren’t following what Johnny or Susie wanted them to do or be for them and frankly, Johnny and Susie have worked up reasons why they shouldn’t bother with 3 of the 4 parents. Johnny will eventually be without the 1 parent he is barely speaking to and who provides his job. He’s ticked off everyone else around him and everyone involved in his life for the most part. Those who are or were closest to him, he can work up a way to grumble about them. Susie concurs with Johnny because she, herself, can’t think on her own or thinks that Johnny is right. In actuality, he’s nothing but a “Jimmy Jones” type cult leader who uses drugs instead of cyanide laced Koolaid as was done in “Jones Town”.

What makes this all worse than anything else is that Jimmy Jones there or Johnny, truly believes that he’s a deep thinker while being stoned or high 95% of the time or better. Five percent of that time, he’s asleep, wrappers from chocolate and half drank glasses of stuff around him while both he and Susie take turns, sleeping on a couch.

Sadly, Susie thinks that Jimmy Jones or Johnny there is right and cannot be wrong in spite of neither of them having more than co-workers (Johnny less than Susie) as “friends” or those on Social Media. What’s ironic is that Johnny has few friends if any and Susie has dropped everyone from her past because of her beliefs and Johnny’s incessant ramblings, mumblings and groans. Susie can only see herself with him. Not parents. She’s effectively been led to estrange herself from everyone that she ever has known so that Jimmy Jones there or Johnny has control over her and her mind. If that doesn’t work, he’ll ply her some other way and she will fall for it.

From my little corner of life to yours, it’s not Johnny or Susie’s parent’s faults that these 2 are as they are. It’s Johnny and Susie’s ball to play with and drop on each other. Sooner or later, all that they will have is themselves to look at as parents die off and without them as part of the picture because no one in the family will put up with it all or even tell them.

Be glad that we’re alive. No one ever has asked to be born and while parents owed us to raise us to a certain age, they only owed us the necessities of life for that period of time. Everything else was simply icing on a cake and a cherry on top of it.

Think about it and what you’re doing for and with your children, adults or not. Are you giving them far too much or what they want, hoping that it will buy you loyalty by them? Ok, go ahead and do so while hoping that it works and you’re not part of the estranged from parents. Don’t think it could happen to you? Think again.

Best wishes!

Love and Light!

Published by ponderinglifetoo

I'm a wife, mother, artist, photographer and bookkeeper. I love writing out my thoughts in journals but, am finding my way to sharing these with others now.

3 thoughts on “Estrangement Reasons: Are You Giving Your Kids Too Much

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