Words Mean Nothing: Why It May Be Time To Quit Trying

The Script may already have been written. Give up.

Covid-19 with its issues, fears etc., protests and riots every night for George Floyd, my nephew having surgery alone, my car breaking down and needing another used one on financing because we couldn’t afford it, the sewers backing up into our basement (more stuff gone), water pipes bursting and a lot of electronics gone, secondary damages done by a restoration company sent in by the insurance company, our cat dying after thousands of dollars in trying to save her and the list goes on and on and on. Actually, I could go on all day but, I won’t.

As if to add insult to injury, I got 2 notes and a letter today by people who think that their issues are the worst in the world and that everyone should be bowing to them in one way or another. This is yet another list that I could go on about but, won’t.

Suffice it to say that everyone on this planet has issues or problems. No one is free of feelings, worries, troubles and even illnesses of some kind or another. There aren’t any human beings who haven’t had problems. Get these people to see that point though and it would be like trying to climb a mountain that is set at 90 degrees, without ropes or shoe grips. In other words, it’s ridiculous especially, when you know that you’ve been through far worse or are going through it yourself.

Those who think that I was put on this planet for them and their problems, have another thing that they need to think about.

These types of people need to remember that everyone has issues, troubles, problems and that their issues or problems may be worse to them because they think that they are but, reality is saying that while their troubles are theirs and feel bad, they aren’t the only ones who have and even had the same or worse. They aren’t exclusive people and I wasn’t put on this planet to serve them or their needs or wants. I have problems too, like they all have and so do many, if not everyone else on this planet. The world and I don’t need to go to them.

Once someone has a long-standing problem that others have tried to help with or at the least, give suggestions towards trying to help, that’s it!

I can’t count the number of times where I’ve heard the same troubles over years and years but, people do nothing about them to make it better. They simply complain and cry and whine about it all and expect me to somehow come up with something that will make them ok. My ears have bled with listening, my mouth has overflowed with my limited knowledge and suggestions and still the same problems keep coming up. Not the least of which, people expect that others are going to constantly chase them down to figure it all out for them when they aren’t willing to do a thing or can’t.

However, I am out of suggestions for a lot of these long-termed issues that get whined and cried about over and over and over again. That’s when the new problems get mixed in with the old that have been ongoing for years.

It’s not that I don’t want to help but, it’s more that I can’t help them any longer. There’s nothing more to say, do or try. In other words, that’s it. I can’t do any more and last time I checked, I wasn’t omnipotent whereby every problem that someone else has, I can solve. After all, I do have a life and issues of my own. I’ve tried and tried but, at some point, that halo that I attempted to put over my head, isn’t there because I was never the one who could have solved these problems in the first place. It was always up to that person or persons to do for themselves.

Just because I did try, doesn’t mean that I’m a doormat or will always bend over for anyone.

There are people out there who truly believe that I should continue trying no matter what they say or do, no matter how right or wrong they believe themselves to be. Have I got a news flash for them!

Not only can I not solve everything but, I also have a life and problems too. I wasn’t put here on this planet a doormat nor, will I bend over and keep taking flack or whatever it is that one wishes to dish out towards me. I only have 2 cheeks on my face and once one is being slapped with other things in my own life, I can hand someone else the other for a time or two. Keep trying though and those who think that I should be there for them, are going to find out that I’m not a doormat, won’t take on their crud from their own boot bottoms and that I’m not about to offer up yet another cheek. I’ve run out of them and I am not going to continue trying.

I give up on trying with anyone and everyone because what they believe is correct, they don’t see that others have points of view too.

Two men were brought into an ER one night.

One man had a broken little toe. He screamed, yelled, begged for pain killers and well…you get the gist.

Not 10 minutes later, a man was brought in with a horribly broken leg with several breaks, bones sticking through the skin, bleeding all over the place. He was in pain but, he didn’t want to be a disturbance to anyone.

After 15 minutes of the man who broke his little toe, groaning, screaming, yelling and begging for pain meds, the nurse walked into the waiting area and called in the man who had his leg broken in several places, bones sticking out through the broken skin and called him to come in and be seen.

Broken Toe: “Hey, I was here first. Why does HE get to go in?”

Nurse: “Because, Sir, he is more urgent than your injury is”.

Broken Toe: “But, I’m in PAIN! I need something NOW!”

Nurse: “Once I get this man under control, I will come back for you. It should be 10 minutes or so.”

A lot of shouting, moaning, groan etc., from the man who’s toe was allegedly broken.

Leg Broken: No, no, Nurse…please take him first!

Nurse: Why sir? You do know that you will likely have to have surgery and this man’s little toe is at issue, not his entire leg.

Leg Broken: I know but, HE seems like he’s in more pain than I am. I’ll wait.

Once something has gone too far, it’s gone. I’ve been “The Broken Leg” and have let the broken toe guy go ahead of me. Why? Because that’s what I’ve always done. However, if I try once and even twice and there’s only this righteous indignation, I’m now done. I will try no more. Why is that? Because trying does no good. It only makes me seem like I’m more of a doormat or grovelling. Once one believes that they are worse off than you are, they aren’t going to believe anything else. They’re already written the script for themselves with you as the dunce and them as the hard done by ones. They have already written the ending for you and it involves you doing a lot of bowing to and for them. In other words, your trying doesn’t do a thing since they’ve already decided that they are the ones hardest done by and you are the one who either did it or should take their crap. Therefore, I’ve given up on trying now beyond what my word has said. If they don’t believe me at my word, that’s their problem, not mine.

Just because you have in the past, doesn’t mean that you have to keep doing the same things.

If you’ve always been one to run to someone’s aid, once you’ve been kicked or slapped, stop! Learn from your mistakes like other people do even if you’ve always been that way.

Oh yes, you’ll likely lose a few people but, the question always remains, WHAT did you lose and at what cost to you did you lose it? In other words, did you really lose anything if you think of what you’ve had to do to keep something or someone?

If you’re about to try to say, “yes, but, I’ve always been there for everyone and I can’t stop now,” ask yourself two simple questions. “At what cost to me and my life” and “did it change anything or go the way that I’d hoped it would go?”

At what cost to me did I please everyone else and did it work?

Answer yourself honestly. Think back to what you’ve tried and how many times you’ve done it. If you can answer that it hasn’t netted you anything or that you had foregone a bath or eating or going out or whatever it was that you had to give up, you’ve more than done your part.

I believe it was Einstein that said that “doing the same things and expecting a different result” is the definition of insanity. Frankly, it was and is. Have you learned your lesson or do you wish to go back for Round 1026?

Time to change if you’ve done anything and everything to have a warm body beside you.

That above saying came from a therapist. Sadly, she was correct. I’d have done just about anything to have a warm body beside me. It’s gotten me nowhere good. Those who have loved me for who I am (a human being) and not expected more out of me than being a normal person, will always be around me in some way or another. People who believe that they should be “served” are usually the ones who are most miserable within themselves or, who believe you to be beneath them. Both are delusional ways of thinking. Does anyone really need or want someone like that around them? If you answered “yes” to that one, you’re not ready nor, have you learned any lesson yet.

Believing that you can make a difference in their thinking is not correct either. Even if someone has concocted something in their own minds, if they believe it to be true and don’t bother to try to find out the reality behind it, you’ve wasted your time, energy and breath in attempting to change anything within them or their lives. It isn’t going to happen. Give up trying to “straighten things out” so to speak. You can lead a horse to water but, you cannot make them drink. In the same way, no one can make someone else see other people’s points of view or problems once they’ve convinced themselves of something or they’re ballsy enough to think that only they have issues, troubles, problems and even “illnesses” that are decades old or aren’t really illnesses but rather manifestations of some other reason.

From my little corner of life to yours, if you’re finding others full of contradictions, made-up reasons or pre-written what they believe is “the truth”, try once to make them see your point of view and that more has happened since your last attempt if it has. However, once telephone conversations have gone from that to text messages or other forms of communication, walk away. You’re not going to win this as they’re taking the chicken’s way out of things and honestly, it only makes me madder than anything to see the distortions in their words, thoughts and actions or lack of them.

On that note, be well, stay well,

Love and Light!

Published by ponderinglifetoo

I'm a wife, mother, artist, photographer and bookkeeper. I love writing out my thoughts in journals but, am finding my way to sharing these with others now.

4 thoughts on “Words Mean Nothing: Why It May Be Time To Quit Trying

  1. Eight years ago I attempted to write a blog on WordPress, I began with the words Thirty seven years down the drain, now what comes next. I realized and decided that it was not worth my time and effort to bother putting down on paper all those things I lived through during my sixty-two years on this day. So, I never did. As the internet began to evolve, more people were predisposed to share ‘how we feel’ on social networks. I realized then too, that no one really gave a damn about my problems and issues, so I stopped down that too. We grow up. It’s what we have to do.

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    1. Hi Laura:

      How do you know that your experiences in Life may not help someone else even if that’s to let them know that they are not alone in how or what they feel? People are all different but, the same at the same time.

      Try it. Growing up means that we never get anywhere unless we try. No, you or I may not be making any big differences in this world but, in all honesty, if our words hit just one person, it’s worth it, right?

      Like

  2. I’m really ready to give up, like you said, do I want someone like this in my life, no, I don’t, but now she has cancer, and my son expects me to make up with her, although she ignores every effort I have made, I’ mdone with her, but what do I do, my son says I haven’t tried enough, he doesn’t know what she has put me through, and never will, unless his son does the same to him, what do I do?

    Liked by 1 person

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