Writing Letters Doesn’t Solve Anything Nor Does Continuing To Take Flack

Are you being stupid by writing, hoping, waiting, being slapped in the face over and over again?

It’s been an interest of mine as to why people do the things that they do. Most of it comes through their own imagined issues with someone else, several others and, or through or with someone else’s help. In other words, they see what they want to see instead of what’s really there and what suits them most.

The question of “why” things happen or people reacting as they do or don’t rarely has a direct answer. Most of that is because it’s been rehearsed in their heads and minds as to what something or someone should be like. More often than not, it’s done according to what they believe that they should have happen or not. In other words, they’re written their own scripts for everyone around them and heaven help them if things don’t go according to what they expect or in spite of someone having told them that they weren’t going to do something. That person may have stuck to their word and the other person didn’t like it so, there was excuse after excuse made up in their minds as to why. It all matched their internal stories. It had to otherwise, they couldn’t justify it.

Do not write something to someone and expect that it’s going to make a world of difference. It’s not. Actually, it may do completely the opposite to what you’ve intended it to do.

Did that get said strongly enough? I hope that it did because the written word when trying to either scold someone or explain why something happened or didn’t happen, can lead to more and more anger. If someone is truly wanting to repair something, a good old fashioned phone call or face-to-face with that person may be what is required. Words in writing can be taken in a totally different light because voice intonations, explanations instantly cannot be written out. It doesn’t work that way and gives the other person time to dissect what you’ve said or someone else has said in their own time and way. Remember that people get upset by even putting in emoticons or “LOL’s” or whatever other ways that you can think up of doing or trying. It also gives that person the leeway to read it as they want to read it. Some things cannot be repaired but, to try via the written word…nope. It rarely even comes close to helping. Use that cell phone to truly make a call with. That’s why they call it a phone believe it or not.

If inflammatory words or phrasing are used, forget it. You’ve lost that battle right there.

In using inflammatory words or phrasings, you’ve effectively lost right there. If you were expecting that person or people to react in a favourable way, you have likely driven nails into that scenario and can kiss that person(s) goodbye. The written word or even that spoken cannot be taken back and once it’s been heard, it’s been heard or read. All of your talking or all of theirs, isn’t going to change your mind or theirs to a better station, is it? It’s only going to incite the issue right there and then.

There’s only so much understanding that anyone can do

At a certain point, there are only so many times that someone can ask you or hope for you or anyone else for that matter, to understand. Their minds go blank and so does yours. That’s especially true, if it’s said in words over a screen or on paper. One can only take so much before they blow up, get angry and stop trying to comprehend what may be going through yours or anyone else’s minds. Eventually, people will stop trying to understand and won’t attempt anything further. They can’t do it. There’s only so long that someone can understand and then, it’s over and done with. Don’t expect that anyone will endlessly try to understand the “why” behind anything.

People aren’t stupid or fools

If anyone thinks that other people are stupid or that their way is the only way, their thoughts are the right ones, they may need to think again. Other people have lives, troubles, issues and so-on. The world doesn’t revolve around one person forever, even if they’ve consistently been able to get their way or get by in Life with excuses. Pathetically and sadly, other people have ills as well. They’re not the only ones who have something nor, will they be the last person to have it either. It doesn’t matter what one can think of to call out or cry out with, the thing is that other people are not ignorant and can see through guises, excuses, reasoning and everything else that one can think of.

If someone is constantly saying “yes” to things, doing for you etc., it could be that they are getting something out of the relationship but, it doesn’t mean that it will always be the case. Putting up with something because it’s always been that way, doesn’t mean that it all hasn’t been seen through. People have minds and thoughts too and if anyone were to think of them as “fools” one would have to also ask themselves how foolish they’re being for thinking that they are right and others are stupid.

Wishing someone else ill will is akin to being stupid. STOP!

Most people don’t wish others bad luck or illness or what have you. However, there are times when people get angry at something (usually their own wants or needs) and think that the world and everyone in it should be at their feet, begging to do their bidding. Wishing anyone ill will other than in a momentary state of anger then, taking it back again with an “I didn’t mean it that way” is the same as being stupid.

There WILL come a day when those who have thought that the world revolves just for them, regret that thought

Try it for yourself. Go ahead and think of someone that you’ve taken for granted because they’ve always just been there, doing for you. Now, think of bad words that have been spoken by that person followed by a walk-off. Does one stand there, waiting for that person to return to continue doing for them? Only if that person has no regard for themselves or their own lives or, has defined who they are by what they’ve done for that person who has insulted and walked off.

While it’s ok to accept a slap or two in the face as we all do, once someone has given the ultimate slap, it’s time for the recipient of those slaps to move forward. Staying to take more and more of the same or waiting for them in the same spot does no good for them or that other person. There’s a point at which things have gone way too far to be accepted any longer and that’s a signal that it’s not in anyone’s best interests to continue standing there, waiting for more. It also means that once someone has taken and taken, they are likely not going to be around when needed or wanted. There are price tags attached to every choice or decision that gets made no matter how correct one may believe that they are. Carried on for too long and under certain circumstances, they may turn around only to find no one behind them or doing their bidding for them anymore. What then?

Who made that person a “god”?

We are all only human. Each one of us has flaws, faults and warts but, the biggest one is to bite the hand that’s fed you no matter how right one may feel that they are. It’s an illusion. No one owes it to anyone else to stay and take the flying garbage that gets tossed in their faces. If there’s truly something to atone for, then do it. If not, that person is not a “god”. They are fallible human beings too and not “gods”. They will have Life’s curve balls thrown at them too. If they believe that it’s already happened and no one else but them knows what it feels like, they need to think again. They are not “gods” and no one can be around taking their flack, crap, imagined and scripts forever. It’s time that they learned that much but, it’s also time that everyone else learned that as well.

Are their “ideals” worth it?

Really stop and think about this one carefully. Is or are the people that you’re pining over, setting out ideals that are self-intentioned? If so, then there is only one answer that be come up with.

If they truly believe their own agendas or someone else’s stories, then they are the foolish ones.

Fighting others for what is believed to be their own ideals will change over the years, days, weeks, months or whatever. No one’s ideals stay the same unless they will not give them up and even then, Life has a way as do others in Life, of getting others to change their stances on things. What was once believed may become a non-issue further on down the road or, Life will cause it to be less important than once believed by those who believe it to be real.

Stupidly, if the idealists were caused to have to let go of their ideals, price tags attached as we all know that there will be in one way or another, they should not be able to return to Life or us as they once did. Things don’t work that way. Therefore, it’s only fitting to ask someone if their ideals were worth it all. If they truly believe that they were, then you or I or anyone else couldn’t have changed that in them. If, on the other hand, they realized that hanging onto that ideal wasn’t for them and wasn’t meant to be forever as most things aren’t, they are going to have a hard time if others that they had previously relied upon had found their own lives and moved on.

When in doubt, ask but, if you’re getting answers that don’t make sense to you or no answers at all, there are likely reasons for that feeling

If you’ve asked why something has happened and are getting what you can see as answers that tend to go towards other’s needs or wants or, you get vague answers or responses, or even harsh ones, it’s time to accept that there are people who believe in their own needs and will justify it in one way or another. A lot of that reasoning is concocted rather than being real however, they haven’t even given you or anyone else a chance have they? Their own imaginations or belief in those who have done it for them and justification for their actions or lack of them will do it for them.

If you’re getting the sense that someone else has come up with false reasonings to justify something or you’re simply getting vague answers, either someone else is helping them because it can be done and they’re willing or, they want what they want. You nor anyone else is going to change that in them. It has to be up to them. If they never see it, are you not better off in getting yourself and your own life into order, leaving these moronic actions and thoughts in someone alone?

From my little corner of life to yours, if you are taking slaps in the face by someone, either they have an imagined and created version of things in their own minds, their own agendas in mind and held close to their vests or, they aren’t as interested as one would hope that they’d be given all that you’ve tried or not tried. It’s time to focus more on your own life and issues than theirs. In other words…time to move on.

Best wishes, stay well,

Love and Light!

Published by ponderinglifetoo

I'm a wife, mother, artist, photographer and bookkeeper. I love writing out my thoughts in journals but, am finding my way to sharing these with others now.

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