In watching actress, Heather Locklear say this, I had to sit back and take wonder.
“A new person is only new for a day then, they’re just people”. She was saying this to an older daughter who wanted to run and move because of a boy and do so in a way that her mother had done for most of their lives. In other words, they were all used to “running” away from things that they didn’t like and met new people, never settling down anywhere for more than a lease could hold them.
That statement set off alarms in my head and mind. We can all run but, we cannot hide from ourselves.
There’s another statement that’s been made which is older but oh so true. “Wherever I go, there I am”.
In other words, we all have to face up to whatever it is that is our problem or whomever it may be. Running away from ourselves, thoughts, feelings etc., is not an option. It will only bring more problems to us on top of the ones that we already have.
Don’t get me wrong. Moving is a good thing if it’s done with the right intentions in mind. If, for example, you’ve got few, if any people or things around you to stay for and there’s a place that better suits your needs and wants, go for it. In my particular case, I wish to move from where I am because I’m fed up with being part of a big city with tons of congestion, traffic jams wherever I go and while I cannot downsize more than less than 1K square feet, I wish to have at least a powder room on the same floor that I am on. In other words, it’s not downsizing as much as it is that I hope that once this Pandemic isn’t as much of an issue, I will find a home where what I need and want is more or less on the same floor, same area, even if there are bedrooms upstairs. Once a day is better than having to climb stairs for washroom facilities multiple times, right? It’s not that I’m trying to run from myself as much as it is that I’m trying to get a place closer to what I wish it to be.
What would be wrong in a move would be that someone thinks that their problems and issues will all be solved if they change everything or to spite anyone. It never works because wherever you go, your issues and problems go with you. Nobody can run from themselves.
The one reason other than it isn’t what you want or need is because you’re wanting to remove reminders of your past from your life and there is no one left around anymore. That’s reason enough but, remember that the thoughts will go with you no matter what. You will remember them in time. So, do it with the thought in mind that you’re getting a fresh set of surroundings and perhaps, it will help with those thoughts. They will still be there though.
If you’re an estranged parent and, or grandparent, keep in mind too that while people have different ideas of what is a good life and what isn’t, you were a person before you had your child/children and if they have any, they are going to be obliged to keep that in mind as well. Nothing and no one stays around forever as much as we’d love to think that they will. Even neighbours below me and beside them, are and have selling or sold their homes. They are moving and along with them, the memories will go with them. The wife had her parents living beside her for decades and grew up in one home. Hubby had the house next door to them with his parents. When all of the parents died, one of their 3 children bought the home that used to belong to her grandfather and was right next door to her parents. At this point, all of them are selling and moving. Along with them will go their memories of all 3 houses and the lands. People do move on but, they cannot forget their pasts, good, bad or indifferent. There is no indication as to where they all are going or would go but, there are memories that will stick to them like glue.
From my little corner of life to yours, keep in mind that whatever it is that you decide to do, even staying where you are right now, new people become simply people and memories are always with you no matter what you choose to do or not do. Also keep this in your thoughts, there are telephones and emails even during a pandemic. Do whatever it is that is best for you to do but, don’t try to outrun the past. If it hurts now, it will hurt whatever you do.
Wishing you all of my very best,
Love and Light!