Control Equals Lack Of Trust In Others

Control over others is saying, “I don’t trust you! I have to control you so that I can gain trust in you. I need to control everything and everyone around me!”


When someone has a control issue and feels the need to oversee everything that others do, it’s considered a lack of trust.

Besides being childish and immature, it’s plainly stating that one person doesn’t trust others to do as they want them to do while seeing that they do. In other words, in the controlling person’s mind only, other people need watching.

As an example, take Mike. Mike is mad at his neighbours through both delusional thinking as well as a plot that he’s cooked up in his own mind. Of course, one of his schemes is partially true but, the 100 other things are not. Not by a long shot. As a matter of fact, Mike is so far off base in everything else that he’s stated that his neighbours see him as being mentally unhealthy and have ignored him. Actually, Mike has been reclusive most of the time that he’s lived there and hasn’t bothered with other people in the area in spite of decades of having lived there. Neighbours have become used to this sort of behaviour from him so he’s of little bother to any of them so, they have ignored him because they know that there’s little use in trying to even try to befriend Mike for more than a short period of time if that much.

Sally, on the other hand, is considered to be Mike’s wife. Mike rules her too so, Sally makes up things to tell Mike. Mike then takes what Sally has said to him and churns it around until he comes up with 2 + 2 equalling 5. That makes both Mike and Sally immature and silly people in this example, doesn’t it? It also says that no one in Mike’s world has a back bone of their own. They all rely upon Mike and Mike revels in it.

Mike doesn’t waste any time though. He loves drama so, he tells Sally what his thoughts are on the topic as though it were all true. Not only that but, Mike tells whomever will listen to him about the “Evil Neighbours” and a story to go along with it all that others could believe partially because Mike wants control over everyone he allows into his life.

Meanwhile, “The Evil Neighbours” have felt sorry for Jane who is Mike’s former live-in wife. Though what Jane and Mike do is not of concern to them, they’ve tried to show Jane that they still care about Jane the same as they always did. Jane however, has listened to Mike’s whining and blathering on about this 5 that she’s come up with in adding up 2 + 2. She believes it and to make doubly sure that Jane doesn’t do what Mike doesn’t want her to do, Mike feels the need to usher everyone out and come to watch them all leave which is something that Mike has never done before. The “Evil Neighbours” (in Mike’s mind only remember) could care less now. Both Jane and Sally in their minds, are brainwashed by Mike and they really don’t have feelings one way or the other about what Jane or Sally believe from Mike’s own rather imaginative mind.

It’s clear to the imagined “Evil Neighbours” that there’s an extensive cell phone network that has happened in Mike’s world because Mike has gone onto a rather unused large porch within seconds of someone arriving or leaving. There are calls when they about to arrive and Mike escorts them out as well. The “Evil Neighbours”, sitting on their own front porches due to a Pandemic that’s happened simply laugh at the lengths that Mike has gone to as well as Jane, Sally and who knows who else. What Mike hasn’t realized yet though is that “The Evil Neighbours” aren’t about to do anything or even wave at anyone who leaves or goes into Mike’s home. What makes it even more obvious as to what Mike is doing is that he’s coming out right before someone arrives and he’s standing on the formerly unused porch to do unneeded things such as looking over the railings of that oversized and under utilized front veranda, plucking leaves, pulling at them or re-arranging something on that concrete pad then going indoors when there’s nothing else to do out there. How could there be? No one uses that “lanai”.

The point is that everyone around them sees them as no one to react to with the reasoning being that they all know that Mike and Sally as well as Jane are not people that hold any power over them or their lives. They do find Mike’s antics pathetic though and we won’t bother getting into Sally’s or Jane’s or even Elizabeth’s and Joe’s.

All of this was to say that there is control. Mike is at the helm and the rest have to follow Mike’s theory that 2 + 2 equals 5. Why? It’s more than likely because Mike seems to hold the keys to their lives. He will also tell them all what they can or can’t do, when and how. Their lives would be different if they weren’t to listen to Mike’s incorrect blatherings. For anyone else though, watching this happen, it’s comical to say the least.

Control 1 and others nothing.

Why?

Mike didn’t care about anyone else or their feelings. He was out to prove that 2 + 2 equaled 5 and that’s what they believe because Mike said so, phone strapped to head and all. What Jane doesn’t see is that “The Evil Neighbours” can see through Mike’s story and can’t be bothered if she doesn’t bother with them. The same holds true for Sally. If she’s naive enough to believe Mike’s theory then that’s up to Sally. It’s all about Mike’s control over a small number of people. Others who listen to Mike truly don’t care one way or another about “The Evil Neighbours”. It doesn’t concern them because they had nothing to do with them anyway.

That kind of CONTROL is about CONTROL. Mike seems to need to control something or someone or a few someones. It’s all akin to saying, “I don’t trust you” to Sally or Jane or anyone else that Mike has enlisted into his plot to convince them all that his theory is correct. It’s all to gain control over others so that they don’t find out that 2 + 2 actually, equals 4 and not the 5 that Mike has theorized it adds up to.

When someone feels the need to control everything and everyone, not only is it impossible if they have back bones of their own but, it’s telling that person that they are untrustworthy.



*GASP*

Who knows what else Mike has concocted in order to keep control over others?

The bottom line is that while it first may have mattered, it no longer does. It’s not worth worrying or fretting over in any way. Mike can go on with his little escapades, trying to keep control and Sally can continue doing as Mike says because she has to live with Mike but, it’s wearing thin on her and soon, it won’t be of any issue to anyone other than Mike. Jane still gets things from Mike and so, Jane will believe Mike until it no longer suits her either. Anyone else who believes Mike either doesn’t care or they’re only out to get what they are out after anyway. Mike controls them as well and they know it but, will continue to follow Mike as long as it suits them to do so. The rest, well, “The Evil Neighbours” have nothing to do with anyway so, it only matters to Mike who simply wants control over anyone and everyone who will listen to his idea that 2 + 2 equals 5.

From my little corner of life to yours, be aware when control is really saying, “I don’t trust you or me and I need pull over you.”

Be well,

Love and Light!

Published by ponderinglifetoo

I'm a wife, mother, artist, photographer and bookkeeper. I love writing out my thoughts in journals but, am finding my way to sharing these with others now.

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