People who don’t have children or estranged adults, couldn’t possibly know what it’s like to be walking in the shoes of someone who has estranged adults and it shows.
Theories are abundant as to how to raise a child and adult “child”. It’s uncanny how they tend to come out of the woodwork as though they somehow have found the Holy Grail to parenting when their own kids (adult or not) are out there, throwing temper tantrums or feeling that the world and everyone in it, somehow owes them something because they were born.
What is really happening with these theories and even Society as a whole, is enabling these adult children to believe that they are somehow special. They are “special” but, not in the way that they think that they are.
It’s been postulated that adults who estrange themselves have a “reason” for doing so otherwise, they wouldn’t have done it. I couldn’t agree more. They have a “reason” whether it’s been cooked up or not alright but, the reality is that in a lot of these cases, they have been well coached into doing it by psychologists, therapists, psychiatrists and even internet groups where one will console another.
Let’s face it. What “child” grows up with the terms, “narcissist” or “toxic” or whatever it is that they can come up with. If they have grown up with those terms, then it’s little wonder and not at all something that we’re talking about here because it’s possibly parents who have called each other or several others those terms with frequency and freely. It may well be the ex spouse during and after a divorce. One thing is usually correct is that the children/adults have been treated differently.
Take a look at your own situations. If you, as a parent, still have your children around you, it’s likely not because you’ve had some theory or raised your child according to it. There are parents who have children still around them who have been hauled off by the hair, slapped, punched, emotionally belittled and spiritually wounded. They haven’t walked off into the proverbial sunset on their parent(s). Why? Are these adults stupid? Are you calling those who never estranged from their parents “stupid”? Think about that for a second. What is it that is being said by you?
From my little corner of life to yours, think about the fact that if you still have your children with you, it’s not because you’ve done something that no one else has ever thought of doing. It’s because either your children are too young to walk off or because you’ve gotten lucky. That’s about it.
In other words, don’t go thinking that you have something or found a way that other parents haven’t tried or thought of. You’re not perfect and you couldn’t possibly know what it’s like to walk in the shoes of a parent whose adult “children” have walked away on them feel. Ok? Ok!
Love and Light!