When coming home with groceries last night, our dog happened to get out. He was quickly grabbed and put onto a leash where there is no way for him to reach the sidewalk. A woman walked up the street and stated gruffly that we “should have him on a leash”. Guess what? He WAS on a leash/lead. It wasn’t as though he was free or running amok.
Don’t mess with me
My husband was conciliatory and he stood their stunned. I reacted right away and told the same woman that he WAS on a leash and couldn’t get to her, what more did she want? Him indoors for her to waddle her rear past? Again, she stated rather abruptly and rudely that we should have him on a chain/lead/leash. One more time, but, this time, without much thought, I asked her if she was hard of hearing as she’d been told not once, not twice but, 3 times now that he WAS on a leash. Of course, she snapped back something that I understood in a language that isn’t my native tongue, thinking that I didn’t comprehend. It wasn’t polite. Let me simply say that much. That’s when I lost it and knew that she wanted a fight. That much she got and, I was in a good mood too. You don’t want to cross me when I’m miserable. Trust me.
No one has to figure out your problems
Later on, as hubby was wiping down/disinfecting packages that we’d bought, it dawned on me that Life is about treating others the way that they treat you. It’s not our jobs to figure out what may be going on in their lives or, within themselves for instance. It’s more related to how it is that they treat you. If they treat you nicely, they’ll get the same in return. However, treat you as though you’re beneath them and they should get it back in kind. There is no understanding whatever they may be going through because heaven only knows, there’s no one on this planet who is troubles free. No one. That said, what gives them the right to treat others with disdain because they have problems? If they aren’t about to explain it to you or you hardly know them and they’re not mentally challenged (ie: Down’s Syndrome etc.) then are you or anyone going to take the time to figure out what is bothering them? The answer is likely a “no” and I finally get why that is the case. After all, who has the time to figure out someone else you don’t know and they’re not about to explain their lives to you are they? The only answer is to treat them as they treat you and in return.
Why not to use others as doormats to wipe your feet on
I know someone who thinks that everything she has is the worst case scenario and nobody has it as bad as her. Worse than that, while she knows about your issues, she’s got it into her head that somehow, her problems are far worse than anyone else on this earth has ever experienced and the world should bow down to her. I’ve even gotten shouted at that I thought that the death of her father some time ago now was being ignored because the man was nearly 90 years of age. How so untrue that was of her to have decided as number one but, number two was the fact that her father passed on at the same age that my father-in-law passed on. So what? It wasn’t exactly like no one else has ever had to deal with it or that people don’t pass on at some point or another, was it? Her mother passed away near that age as well. Where are the violins? I think we need them right?
She actually had the nerve to be angry because her “brother NEARLY died” when nearing or at 60 years of age. The key word here is “nearly”. He didn’t die. However, it made me wonder why it was that she thought that her brother “nearly” dying was somehow worse than my own brother who passed on at the age of 53 years of age, or my mother at 53 or my father at 66? How exactly does this work? Oh yes, she has had it worse than anyone else on this planet. There’s no doubt there and her offspring is married, not estranged and sees her regularly to where (not just during this pandemic) she’s always called the shots of when she wants him to come by and her daughter-in-law or when she wanted to speak to her father, brother and even mother. There’s an entire story that goes along with her but, I’ll leave it out here.
Fast forward to last night with this woman. It’s given me pause to think.
Normally, it’s best to think about others and what they may be going through before reacting. However, that’s not to be the case when:
1) You don’t know the person or their circumstances.
2) Someone is treating you badly for no known reason.
3) Another person simply wants a fight. Give them one if you can be bothered.
4) No one is without issues/problems in their lives so, what gives anyone the right to treat you like dirt beneath their feet or you prostate yourself on the ground like a doormat for them to wipe their feet upon.
5) If you have issues, don’t treat others with a gruff exterior or words. Go to bed as they should do or meditate.
If you let them, they will do it
This may be contrary to what you’ve been taught or think but, if you allow or permit someone to run over you just once, they will likely do it again to you. Do you want to know why? It’s often because they know that you’ll be their punching bag or their doormat. They’re going to pummel you over and over again or each time that they have something go wrong with them in their lives, never taking into account that you may be having something going on in your life as well.
Secondly, nothing is new in Life. They aren’t the only ones who have it as they do, even if they believe that to be the case. Many, many people have it far worse or have gone through it no matter what they believe. It doesn’t give them license to treat others the way that they are treating you. Did they bother listening when you’ve told them what it is that you’ve had to deal with or may be dealing with? Did they even think about that fact? Your issues don’t mean that they are less than someone else’s and vice versa. They may or may not be different but, it’s something and that should give you license to treat other people rawly, right? No, it doesn’t so, why allow someone else to do it to you?
Using and being used
No one is here on this planet to be anyone else’s punching bag. If someone is to treat you like garbage and you know what they’re going through, it’s one thing to push their reactions aside as long as they’re not too horrible a couple of times. Beyond that though, giving them love and forgiving them constantly, giving them a place to be or a shoulder to cry on is about as useful to both them and you as a moth is to eating through a plant that you treasure. They will quickly come to know you as the one to run to when they need something or want to whine and cry on your shoulder. Giving them constant love, thought, attention and your time and energy no matter what you may be going through is the same idea as giving a dog a treat for tearing your garbage bin open and leaving pieces strewn all over the house for you to pick up and clean up after. In effect, it’s akin to training them to disregard your feelings or issues and load you up with theirs.
Where are they though when the good times hit? They’re with other people who haven’t allowed this to happen to them and have gone on with their lives. These earthly creatures aren’t about to include you in anything. You’re just the doormat.
From my little corner of life to yours, while I could go on all day and no doubt, the spirituals of people will chime in, calling me or this writing as wrong and garbage, I will leave it here and them and go on to say that allowing anyone to treat you like yesterday’s news or a doormat, is not correct for you or them. You are a person too. Be the squeaky wheel, get that oil or don’t let them away with it. Having problems or being in a bad mood because of something or someone else or even your own thinking, doesn’t give you or anyone else license to treat you horribly. Don’t put up with it and please, oh please, forget The Bible passage where it’s said:
Do unto others as you’d have done unto you.
It doesn’t work and The Bible has been written decades to centuries after the fact as well as translated into many different languages. It’s not meant to be taken word for word no matter what anyone tries to tell you.
Switch that around to:
Do unto others as they do unto you.
Love and Light!