Estrangement, Feeling Alone & Why Would You Want Them Back

Why would anyone want someone back who is so self-centered and states that there is no time for them or shows it by ignoring parents?

What is it going to take for younger people to know that ignoring the words of both governments and parents is giving them some rights but, at a cost somehow or in some way?

Forget the pandemic. These adults don’t believe that it exists, is politicized or it won’t affect them. They can do whatever they want without consequence. Lining up for hours at a testing facility for this virus doesn’t matter to them nor, does it matter who else their inconsiderate actions and choices displace. All that counts to them is the idea that they can do whatever they want and utter an “ooooppppssss,” later on. In other words, they are taking care of themselves and don’t care about anyone else. Will they learn from that experience if they’re lucky enough to escape it without harm or take into account who else they’ve either inconvenienced or even killed off? Nah.

Why is it so hard for parents to believe that their now adult children have estranged themselves then? Take one look at the mentality of those who do this type of thing and is there any pause that needs to be taken to understand why they’ve walked off into the sunset on us as they have and why numbers of this have increased and are increasing by the month?

It’s called “I have the net and can look things up. I take everything that’s said that I like and suits my purposes as Gospel Truth.”

Honestly, the type of adult person who does this type of thing is not one that may be wanted by many people. How is TOXIC spelled…E S T R A N G E D A D U L T. Do people who think and feel this way have a place in lives who have experienced more life?

Let’s take a look at a friend of mine who has been taking online courses. She’s found people half her age in these courses and frankly, their experiences in Life are limited due to their ages (all adult by the way). Not only is she far more mature in her attitude but, she’s had a plethora more experiences than others in her group/classes and let me say that she’s old enough to be a sister to me, not my age equal.

However, she has run a bricks and mortar store as well as doing things online now. She’s had far more experiences than most others in her classes and that includes losses/deaths. The most that she’s encountered with classmates are the deaths of their hamsters. It’s a tiny bit of a stretch of imagination to compare someone who has had a loss of a hamster which they really didn’t get attached to because they were out with friends and had parents doing the work of cleaning and feeding them, to a person’s life of someone whom you were close to. Sadly, if these people were lucky enough to go on in Life, it will take them for the ride of their lives.

This leads it all back to those who will walk away from others at the drop of a hat and in particular, those who are no longer needed at the moment or aka, parents.

What about those who they work for if they are able to maintain a job that is? How is it that they are able to put up with a friend’s issues or a spouse’s, friend’s or girl friend or boy friend who are more likely to both use and abuse them? Bosses are notorious for this type of thing. So are spouses.

Why is it then that these people can be put up with while parents can’t and are told that they are imperfect or need to change while these adults will run around, slapping labels on their parent’s heads like these adults have their field work as well as degrees in psychology to do so? The answer is simple.

  1. They no longer need the parent but, they need their spouses or friends or bosses. Yes, they like money or what their roommates provide for them
  2. They believe that they are somehow better than their parent(s).

If you’re finding yourself alone during this pandemic and wishing that you could have your adult as part of your life again, take a hard look at those who do have their adults as part of their lives and what kind of a thin ice or eggshell dance the parent(s) are doing to have this. Are they babysitting (yes, I know these people well)? Are they bowing to their offspring’s wishes to save an argument? What are or have you observed? Are you willing to do all of that now to keep them around you? Do you truly believe that they’re going to be there for you if or when you want and need them with attitudes like they have displayed or expectations of or from you?

If you answered “yes” to that, think again.

People who are only around for what it is that they can get and have you dancing on strings like a marionette, aren’t going to be around for you when you want or need them. They will do what they’ve already done. WALK!

Once someone who is used to getting all that they want from someone and it’s no longer given to them or can’t be, these same types of people are gone and out of your life. More key here is the idea that they are used to getting something. Stop it and see what happens. Don’t believe it, try it. Not on a single try though. It has to be consistently done to give it a real trial. Remember that once or twice is not necessarily something that they want but, if you’ve done enough for them, try asking them for something and see what they’re reactions are to you.

If you’re still reading this, you know what it is that I’m speaking of and why. That question asked, I’d also have to ask you to ask yourself why you’d want someone in your life who is only out to get what they want or need from you?

There’s an old song that states that “I’d love to if I could find the time….”

Time? Everyone has time to do things. Perhaps, it may not be right at that moment but, at some point, no one is that “busy”.

While it’s possible to understand things that lead to busy-ness, the reality is that when it’s offered up as a “reason” over and over again, one has to question it’s sincerity.

From my little corner of life to yours, we make time for those who matter to us. If someone can’t find that time to think of you and at the least, pick up a phone to you, they’re not worthy of your concern even if you’ve previously been more than generous with them with yours. Whether or not we’re washing dishes, a tv program, movie or twiddling our thumbs while watching paint dry on walls, it’s our time and energy. If we could accept them and do for them and they don’t try in return, why would we want them as part of our lives?

Think about that.

For now, stay safe, be safe,

Love and Light!

Published by ponderinglifetoo

I'm a wife, mother, artist, photographer and bookkeeper. I love writing out my thoughts in journals but, am finding my way to sharing these with others now.

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