Moving On From Those Who Want Something From Us

Saying goodbye is never easy for anyone yet, if one were to want others to know that it’s not ok for them to walk all over you like a doormat, it’s necessary no matter how difficult it may be to do. That means death and estrangement as well as other things too.

Once a person has out of you what they wish to gain or you can’t say and do what you used to anymore or they plain and simply have lost use for you (no matter what the time frame may be) they will turn you into some sort of monster in their minds and you’re stomped on in all sorts of ways, not the least of which includes walking off into the sunset without care or at the least, showing it.

Does that have you scratching your head because you want that person back or does it make you think to yourself….hmmmmm. It should be making you ask yourself why keep them as part of your life. Why? Because they’ve tossed you to the side so it’s ok for you to do the same to them.

Many of us will ask ourselves why this has occurred, what did we do, are we to blame and should we feel shame? Should we apologize? Is it ok to keep letters of love and gifts going their way? Will that make them come back faster or at all?

Let’s ask ourselves if we’d continue doing this with someone who is not estranged from us but has treated us as these people have. Would we send them notes of love or gifts? The likelihood of us doing that may possibly be but that would then go towards us needing to ask ourselves seriously if we have self-esteem issues. It’s not ok for people to treat us with mud-slinging and expect that we are going to magically either produce what they want or change into what it is that they think we should transform ourselves into is it?

Never mind how “alone” we may be feeling or think that we are, the point is that these types of people wouldn’t be around for us if we truly needed them anyway unless we paid them to do it for us and even then, there’s no guarantees. If whatever it is that we give them runs out, there is no doing anything for us “from the goodness of their hearts”. It’s over and the sooner that we face it, the more quickly we can get on with our lives and being ourselves.

Let’s also not forget that it’s showing them that we have a weakness for them and even though we are able to give them what they want, that will change or it will become our jobs. None of it is a pretty picture is it that is being painted but it’s the truth and sadly, as much as we wish it could be some other way or no matter what we’ve done for and with them, it’s all gone by the wayside through their own imagined images of us.

As hard as this may be to do, letting people like this go, no matter what their intentions are or were and however much they’ve used imagination to make 2 + 2 =4 about us, the reality is that these types of people are like leaches who will drain us all dry then move onto someone else to give them what they want or what that person has made them believe that they need.

Whether real or fabricated, needed or wanted, you are going to end up being blamed in one way or the other. Why? They do that so that they can justify doing what they’re doing to us. Oh yes, they will also use that tactic to flush out that we still care or love them when they have moved on. In other words, we’re showing them a weakness of ourselves that they can use to gain more and more of what they want from us.

If they’ve cut off all contact with us, it’s more likely because we’ve run out of what they want, can’t give it to them any longer or won’t change into what they think that they want us to do. However, it’s more than likely that if we were able to give to them or be who they think that they want us to be, not only will we be “people pleasing” but, when it goes sour or badly for them, they will either blame us or turn us into the devils incarnate to again, justify. We cannot win. Let them think as they will think while we let go.

From my little corner of life to yours, letting go in order to accept that things are as they are and people can and do these types of things, doesn’t go against hoping in some way that they will see the light. Unfortunately, many will never see it or won’t until it’s too late for us and them. Do we wish to live the rest of our lives, pining for them or shall we move on? It’s your choice no matter what you choose to do or not do.

Love and Light!

Published by ponderinglifetoo

I'm a wife, mother, artist, photographer and bookkeeper. I love writing out my thoughts in journals but, am finding my way to sharing these with others now.

One thought on “Moving On From Those Who Want Something From Us

  1. Wow, Lou Ellen! You must read my email to you of this date! My poor brain has been torchered to thax by my 2 out of 3 adult kids and their dad, his goal remains to drive me crazy so he brainwashed them! I have wonderful professional help at this time in my life! Love you & your words!

    Liked by 1 person

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