To Both EAC’s & Parents of EAC’s

I can walk away too

It never ceases to amaze me what it is that people come up with. There is no pleasing everyone. As a matter of fact, there is no pleasing all of the people, all of the time to coin an old phrase said by who, I don’t know at this moment. What I do know is that a lot of people will read what interests them in here and toss out the rest. Oh yes, they will write out their comments with reckless abandon anonymously as though they have it all right and know everything. Yet, they will barely read another word written in here on any other topic. The above statement is talking about a topic that is part of my experiences in Life. Estrangement.

So, why does this phenomenon floor me? It’s because these “adults” either think that they have the “Holy Grail” to parenting and it will never happen to them because they feel that they know you and especially me. Secondly, it tells me that they are looking for articles to back or support or justify their reasonings for estranging, these “adults” have done something like estrange themselves and anything that doesn’t agree with them or their thinking is rubbish while they hope that there is an article that they can rest their laurels upon and most particularly, they are still looking for answers that make them feel better about their choices even if they feel that they’ve done the right thing. The point that they have to voice their opinion over it all, is note enough to me that they are not at all sure that they’ve done the right thing by estranging themselves and are possibly feeling guilty about it all. Will they read this piece? Likely not. Why? Because they will be far too busy looking online for ways to justify their decisions. They won’t read this and if they do, they will call me or many of you parents “narcissistic, toxic, psychopathic or telling me that I delete anyone’s opinion that doesn’t agree with me. Would they be right? Yes, of course they would be if they’ve done so with a rude, lewd or mean streaked comment. I don’t delete but rather my filters do and yes, those that are left in by filters have to be okay’d by me so as not to publish any links (yes, I get spam on here too). I don’t get to read or even publish comments every day. None every single day. I have a life too even if I appear to have none to these types of people.

Let me ask something here to those who will do this type of thing. Do you think that you are 100% correct or are you still searching for back-up to your decision to estrange? Now who is hurting? Who is afraid that they’ve taught their own children what it’s like to estrange? More key here is who do you think that you are? This is the net and anyone can say anything about themselves. I don’t know you and neither do others who read and will read your comments so make them respectful or don’t write them at all.

Now to parents of Estranged Adults. If you’re not going to speak up as many have done in my now defunct YouTube channel, thanks to glitches during a pandemic, then I nor anyone can help you. If you prefer to stay to yourself and “hide”, then that is what you’re going to do. Again, no one can help you with your situation except tissues to cry into or whatever it is that you’re going to do. Poor pillows for getting pounded out of anger.

That being said, if you are an estranged adult, think twice before you write out an “anonymous comment” like a keyboard warrior. If this isn’t for you, it isn’t for you. Ignore it. No one has a gun to your head and you need to ask yourself why you’ve read this far. Of course, I don’t need to tell you that you’re not over it all or you wouldn’t be reading any of the articles written upon estrangement.

If you’ve been truly beaten or abused or neglected or even if you believe that you have been by your parents and have estranged, think about what that will do to your own either children or future children. It may have the effect that you’re so desperately trying to hide.

From my little corner of life to yours, if you’re the parent of an estranged adult child, go and get yourself a good box of facial tissues or a pillow to pound on because if you aren’t with me, voicing your opinion, you’re going to need those things. And, that’s the last thing that I’m going to say about this topic unless I see more parents (not estranged adults) asking for more.

Have a great day/evening/weekend.

Love and Light!

Published by ponderinglifetoo

I'm a wife, mother, artist, photographer and bookkeeper. I love writing out my thoughts in journals but, am finding my way to sharing these with others now.

7 thoughts on “To Both EAC’s & Parents of EAC’s

  1. Amen! I am with you and just as passionate about it. I have been criticized by my AEC for talking or posting publicly about my pain and grief. Why should that bother her unless she feels guilty because her conscience knows how undeserving I am of her estrangement. Keep your posts coming. I, for one, do try to take time to read materials from both sides. I often find the AEC posts to lack experience in anything other than being an entitled spoiled child, and I cringe for their future children and the behavior/response to challenge, that these AEC”s are modeling for them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Misty — An alternate theory might be that your daughter is upset at your pronouncement that you are undeserving of the estrangement. I have yet to meet a single EP that knows both why they are estranged and that it is deserved. Even the parent that admitted she threatened to take her son and DiL to court for ‘grandparents rights’ or the mom that admitted to slapping her adult son multiple times in the face or the dad that cornered his DiL, admitted to berating her and made ludicrous demands of her and his son in regards to their childcare arrangements. They all complained that they were being treated and labeled as abusive unfairly and were good/loving parents. The only people that buy those tales are other EP’s in denial of their own abusive behaviors and attitudes or their enablers.

      What EAC are “modeling” for their children is, “No one, regardless of ‘title’, has the right to abuse you.” and most of us think that’s a powerful/good message.

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      1. Hannah…you’re playing fast and loosely with the term “abuse”. Hitting someone once or twice, taking them to court for “grandparent’s rights” or whatever else you can come up with is NOT abuse. Please…STOP! Think before you hit a keyboard and utter such statements. Thank you.

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        1. And BTW Hannah…YOU are being “abusive” with your comments to me and other parents who are hurting. So, please take them to forums where you belong. This is NOT “free license” for you to go mouthing off at everyone who disagrees with your stance/opinion. Now who is at play here with “abuse”?

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        2. PL — I am absolutely certain that had the EAC called the police and reported the assault on him by his ‘mom’ that she would have been arrested for battery/assault. I’m pretty sure that a criminal act (striking another adult) IS abuse. The fact that you don’t see that as abuse says a lot. Abuse doesn’t get more clear cut then that.

          Ahhh yes… Onto the DARVO. I know you believe that someone not agreeing with you 100% = abuse to YOU. I do not agree with that equaling abuse. I agree that we have very different views of what does and does not constitute abuse.

          Of course some people would like hitting their child (at any age) to not be abuse/assault because if it was counted as such it would automatically make the parent an abuser and therefore their child the victim. It’s impossible to garner sympathy as a ‘poor estranged parent’ if you admit to hitting your child/being abusive. So even an obvious abuser (the parent who admitted to striking her 27 year old son multiple times) is not from your world view. Of course you and most EP’s don’t believe that your child (and most EAC) were “truly abused” if even hitting your child simply doesn’t count as abuse.

          I mean, I haven’t hit anyone here and hitting is not abuse, so obviously I have abused no one here!

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