Stop Trying. Stop Trying. Stop Trying!
If you haven’t gotten it yet…I’ll say it again…STOP TRYING!
Why would I say that?
It’s because “people pleasing” is a false sense of security for anyone to have. It never works entirely or it works only as long as you’re doing or giving whatever it is that people want. The moment that you’ve outlived your “use” to these types of people, you’re done. Unimaginable things start happening in their minds and you’re not allowed or supposed to say either “no”, “can’t” or especially, “I don’t want to…”.
Talk about people who want something from you, these types of people are only out to have you as part of their lives as long as YOU serve some type of purpose for them or you think as they do. The moment that you can no longer do or think as they do, that’s the moment when they are going to get good and mad and drag your name through the mud or completely disconnect with you. Others may do it too because they are out to please that person or they believe them. What’s that saying about these types of people? I’ll let you do the math and come to your own conclusions. I needn’t tell you, right?
Take the person who you’ve tried to please so hard. Their minds race when you say that you “can’t” or “no” or even worse, “I don’t want (fill in the blanks)”. The result is a concocted reasoning that you nor anyone else can dissolve or change. Stories galore will run through their minds about you. The fact is that had you continued to please them, give them what they want or do as they wish, they’re your ally. They are with you and won’t leave your side. Don’t believe this? Try it and see for yourself. Say “no” once in awhile or many times and see if that person is still around you.
A wise therapist once said to me, “you’d do anything just to have a warm body beside you.” She was correct. As a matter of fact, she was so right that I’ve often found myself wondering what it was that I did “wrong” to someone. The point was that I finally stopped giving them what they wanted or I disagreed with something that they’d said or done.
A lot of people will be scratching their heads right about now or perhaps, they are angry because I’ve spoken what they don’t want us to know about them or because they don’t believe that they’ve done what this piece talks about. The reality is that they have and you or I are of no use to them since we cannot or are not providing what it is that they want. They don’t recognize it.
More key is the fact that a lot of people will disappear from your life if they want something that others may find not them. They simply don’t recognize that fact. I’ve had enough of that in my life thus far to prove that much.
The scenarios that they come up with are about as far from what really happened as it sounds and it’s often left us and those who “people please” scratching their heads in total disbelief as to how it is that they came up with these thoughts.
As you know already, it’s angering and even deflating to say the least when you or I or anyone reaches out to someone who has their minds in this type of scenario. Why bother trying any longer?
From my little corner of life to yours, set up “boundaries” for yourself. If you’re finding that you’ve tried on one or more occasions but find yourself even further behind the 8 ball so to speak or perhaps, you’ve found yourself twisted or bending, you may be a “people pleaser” and need to stop trying. People will make up their minds and once they’ve done so, you aren’t going to change those stories no matter what you do or don’t do. Give up the trying! For heaven’s sake…give up trying!
Have a great day/evening/weekend and….
Love and Light!