If you’ve done a lot for someone or several or even many people, would it not follow that you’d be thought of too by these people?
One would think that would be the case but it’s not often true. Why? Read on to find out.
- People who are out to take from others, really don’t care about you. They care about themselves.
- Those who care about themselves, oftentimes don’t care what you’ve done for them but rather what else you can do for them.
- Things can include what you can do for them further. When you can’t do it, they’ve moved onto others who will do what they want or they will do for others instead of you. In other words, they are getting something from others, somehow without having to do anything or much in return.
I recently had an “ah-ha” moment where I was awakened by the fact that certain people in my life were only out to use me or what I could do for them.
Reality was that the moment that I was unable to do for them what I had previously done, they were angry, fought back or screamed like a child who was said no to in a candy store. Honestly, they disappeared off of the face of the earth. In other words, it was never me that they had liked or wanted around. It was what I could do for them that counted.
I’ve written a previous piece on this topic so if you haven’t already done so, now might be a great time to go and read it first then come back to read this one?
Anyway, the reason that this is all being said is because there are things that people want from us or out of us that we’re unable to give to them and people won’t like that you are unable to do whatever you used to do for them or with them. In other words, they have used you, like it or not.
What’s the solution?
Respect yourself! Forget them and respect yourself first and foremost. Never mind that you may be left on your own. It may be worse to have people surrounding you who don’t appreciate who you are than to have a whole realm of “fake people” who only want what you can do or give to them.
I know. It’s easier said than done especially when we need help ourselves. However, let’s ask ourselves this question. Have you ever done for others and asked for nothing in return, only to have no choice except to ask these same people for their help but be turned down? If you’ve honestly answered that question, put names to the list and see how many people would come to your aid then see who is left over.
Yes, of course, there will be some who will do for you but is it in the hopes of you doing again for them or is it because they will do it once or twice but not again after that? Do they make excuses as to why they can’t do it or leave it until they know that you have help in some way then offer “if you need anything” type of idea? Now who is left on your list?
I’ve also had the pleasure and I am using that term lightly (pleasure) of having spent a small fortune on someone who lives down the street from me along with hundreds of hours at their discretion or whim, say to me, “now we’re even” on a 3 minute drive to a lab for a test during a non-pandemic time. HUNDREDS of hours gone on a 3 minute drive without traffic of any kind? Uh-huh! The moment that I said “no” to this person, they were gone or flapped around like a chicken, clucking out falsehoods that were unbelievable and unheard of by most people around. It was all pathetic really but this story serves a purpose. It points out that I should have saved myself the hundreds of hours and money spent on this person from Day 1. Better yet, I should have asked for something done for me sooner and seen what they did. I didn’t.
From my little corner of life to yours, respect yourself or you can’t expect that anyone else will do it either. If you continually give or have given to others, see what that will do for you when you ask for something in return. It will likely net you nothing or that person(s) to disappear from your life. Are you worse off or better off if you have to do things in order to have people around you? Is it that they are there in your life because of what you can do or because they genuinely care about you? If it’s the former, dump them or simply say “no” and see what they do. Why jump an ocean when someone isn’t willing to walk over a puddle for you?
It’s better to be alone than to have a whole pile of people around you who only care about what you do for them and not you as a person. Respect yourself and you can’t go wrong. They can though!
Have a great day/evening/weekend or whenever you are reading this.
Love and Light!