To Both EAC’s & Parents of EAC’s

I can walk away too

It never ceases to amaze me what it is that people come up with. There is no pleasing everyone. As a matter of fact, there is no pleasing all of the people, all of the time to coin an old phrase said by who, I don’t know at this moment. What I do know is that a lot of people will read what interests them in here and toss out the rest. Oh yes, they will write out their comments with reckless abandon anonymously as though they have it all right and know everything. Yet, they will barely read another word written in here on any other topic. The above statement is talking about a topic that is part of my experiences in Life. Estrangement.

So, why does this phenomenon floor me? It’s because these “adults” either think that they have the “Holy Grail” to parenting and it will never happen to them because they feel that they know you and especially me. Secondly, it tells me that they are looking for articles to back or support or justify their reasonings for estranging, these “adults” have done something like estrange themselves and anything that doesn’t agree with them or their thinking is rubbish while they hope that there is an article that they can rest their laurels upon and most particularly, they are still looking for answers that make them feel better about their choices even if they feel that they’ve done the right thing. The point that they have to voice their opinion over it all, is note enough to me that they are not at all sure that they’ve done the right thing by estranging themselves and are possibly feeling guilty about it all. Will they read this piece? Likely not. Why? Because they will be far too busy looking online for ways to justify their decisions. They won’t read this and if they do, they will call me or many of you parents “narcissistic, toxic, psychopathic or telling me that I delete anyone’s opinion that doesn’t agree with me. Would they be right? Yes, of course they would be if they’ve done so with a rude, lewd or mean streaked comment. I don’t delete but rather my filters do and yes, those that are left in by filters have to be okay’d by me so as not to publish any links (yes, I get spam on here too). I don’t get to read or even publish comments every day. None every single day. I have a life too even if I appear to have none to these types of people.

Let me ask something here to those who will do this type of thing. Do you think that you are 100% correct or are you still searching for back-up to your decision to estrange? Now who is hurting? Who is afraid that they’ve taught their own children what it’s like to estrange? More key here is who do you think that you are? This is the net and anyone can say anything about themselves. I don’t know you and neither do others who read and will read your comments so make them respectful or don’t write them at all.

Now to parents of Estranged Adults. If you’re not going to speak up as many have done in my now defunct YouTube channel, thanks to glitches during a pandemic, then I nor anyone can help you. If you prefer to stay to yourself and “hide”, then that is what you’re going to do. Again, no one can help you with your situation except tissues to cry into or whatever it is that you’re going to do. Poor pillows for getting pounded out of anger.

That being said, if you are an estranged adult, think twice before you write out an “anonymous comment” like a keyboard warrior. If this isn’t for you, it isn’t for you. Ignore it. No one has a gun to your head and you need to ask yourself why you’ve read this far. Of course, I don’t need to tell you that you’re not over it all or you wouldn’t be reading any of the articles written upon estrangement.

If you’ve been truly beaten or abused or neglected or even if you believe that you have been by your parents and have estranged, think about what that will do to your own either children or future children. It may have the effect that you’re so desperately trying to hide.

From my little corner of life to yours, if you’re the parent of an estranged adult child, go and get yourself a good box of facial tissues or a pillow to pound on because if you aren’t with me, voicing your opinion, you’re going to need those things. And, that’s the last thing that I’m going to say about this topic unless I see more parents (not estranged adults) asking for more.

Have a great day/evening/weekend.

Love and Light!

For Parents of Estranged Adults NOT EAC’s

There are so many younger adults who come into read pieces on estrangement who colour all parents with the same “crayon” or brush that they’ve coloured or painted their own parents and assume that every parent must have done something wrong for their child(ren) to have estranged. Let’s get one thing perfectly clear here. There are those who feel that they are “setting boundaries” while completely abandoning parents, perhaps, they have re-written their histories or many other things like estranging from EVERYONE from their pasts. Their reasonings for having estranged are as varied as they come. That’s not to say that true abuse doesn’t happen but it’s to say that histories DO get re-written and as soon as I hear the label of toxic or narcissist slapped upon me or other’s foreheads by these EAC’s I KNOW that there is some type of influence at play in one way or the other such as a website, book (sold by everyone who can put one out), someone else who pays their bills (ie: husband, wife or other parent who wants to use money as a pawn or other things).

Remember that there is a difference between setting a “boundary” and abandonment. That is especially true when someone is able to estrange themselves via some means other than walking away or talking it over with a “counsellor”. Even the “elite” professionals tend to give out some pretty wild advice/opinions based upon one side of the story and let me tell you that the side presented does not often resemble what really took place. More key is that most therapists have only one hour or less of classes on estrangement throughout their entire journey and are only hearing one side of the story. They are not hearing 3 sides of it..the parent, the now adult child’s story and somewhere in the middle is the “truth”. That’s what they don’t hear. The EAC won’t usually permit it to happen or will blame the parent(s) anyway.

The next time that someone doesn’t want to come back or read anything else that I’ve written on several different topics that don’t involve estrangement, it’s telling me that they are still convincing themselves that they’ve done right and get angry at me or any other parent who comments.

When an EAC goes in search of any information concerning estrangement and dislike it or spout off at the mouth, it’s likely because they want back-up in their arsenals for estrangement or are unsure that they’ve done the right thing. When they find pieces on estrangement that go against their “weapons” they get angry and want to revolt against me or any other parent or person who agrees. It is a sure sign that these EAC’s are looking for information that will help them not go against them but there are reasons why they are looking and reading/have watched my blog and YouTube Channel (which seems to have been caught in a glitch with the pandemic. No explanation was given and I’m still waiting on it?).

That said, we all need reinforcement of some type. Parents/grandparents need it too so, this blog is for those who need help in that manner and NOT for those who have estranged and are looking for backing.

Have a GREAT day.

Love and Light!

For Those Unable To Move On Because Estrangement Is Freshly Done

****Please note: My FILTERS catch most comments that are nasty so if you have something to say, say it nicely or don’t say it at all. I will NOT publish those who have nasty things to say, say it crudely and lewdly (yes, look that word up if you need to do so) or anything of the sort. And, yes…I do NOT look at comments that have gone to trash or even every day so, don’t go spouting off as this is about parents/grandparents and NOT estranged adults. Be warned!*****

Why is it that a majority of “Adults Who Have Estranged” only do so when they can do it or because someone else has influenced them into estranging or they can afford to do so?

If you were allegedly so “bad” to your child, why is it that they mostly have waited until they could do it while others are still around their parents, family and friends who have been less than stellar in their behaviours? Never mind whatever it is that they allege you’ve done or not done as a parent, look back at their younger years and why it is that if you’ve been as abusive to them they haven’t left before they could?

Usually, it’s taken someone else to stir the pot so to speak and give them reasons as well as money. Oftentimes, they, themselves have either cut ties with their own families or friends or they wish to keep control over your “EAC” and you are their target because you are perhaps, what’s considered a “threat” to them and their grasp on your “EAC”.

To some parents, it will come as a complete surprise that these EAC’s have done the act and a lot of parents don’t know why they’ve done so. Even when they’ve asked for an explanation and been given one that a parent knows never happened, there is doubt left behind by the EAC. The reason may be because the EAC doesn’t truly know and it’s easier to blame parents than their own failings or issues as an adult. They find it easier to blame the parent/grandparent or family members or whatever and so do their “influencers”.

Ask yourself one simple question in this event.

“Was I that bad or my EAC’s father that they only just did it or needed it pointed out to them? How bad was I really for them or that of family, friends and perhaps, even service providers?”

If your answer is a shrug of the shoulders because you don’t truly know as I’ve said before, then look WAY back at your now adult child’s life, personality, previous experiences with them, where they are now and when it happened. Do you see a pattern here? If you can say within yourself that you have done everything you could as a parent/grandparent then it’s a question of “why now?” “What’s changed”?

Oh yes, I get all types of responses from all sorts of EAC’s that are nasty/angry in nature. However, I don’t let it stop me from saying what I want to say or doing what I wish to do. Some are so fraught with anger and denial that it’s quite easy to see that they’ve been influenced or have an agenda and it’s not me and it’s not you. It’s them. That’s assuming that there’s been no true abuse or neglect. What they consider as abuse or neglect is either of their own making in their minds, personalities, pasts or from excuses given by someone who has influenced them. Remember too that there are books and entire videos or courses on “How To Estrange”. There are people out to make money off of anything that they can and your Adult Child has fallen for it all. It’s a “trend” that’s been going on and on and on.

In the case of an “influencer”, there is likely an agenda of “control” that’s going on within this person and if your now adult child sees a chance to live or be comfortable with this person’s excuses, they are going to go wherever they can go and whenever.

Can you get them to feel differently? No. They have to want to do it on their own. If they don’t, do you really want them around you “as is” so to speak? Can you get them back to the way that they were? NO! Are you the person that you once were as well? NO! As I’ve said before, one can “forgive” but one cannot ever “forget”, right?

I’ve been writing this blog for well over 9 years now and I can say with all of the research and experiences as well as therapists galore that from my little corner of life to yours, look back at your EAC especially their personalities and who they are with now. It may net you some sort of “peace” about yourself as a parent. Sometimes it’s just a trend. Other times it’s because they can do so now. Still at second glance, it’s an “influencer’s agenda” that causes more problems than it’s worth.

Look back and you may find answers. The more you do so, you may find that your estranged adult(s) have weaknesses…not you!

Best wishes!

Love and Light.

We’ve Moved On

Even with estrangement having been in the works and background, I think we’ve (husband and I) have learned a lot from raising a child to a fully grown, adult. Now, we can do no more. It’s one of the hats that we have worn and tried but there’s nothing left for us to do in spite of us and especially, me being called a “narcissist” by commenters who possess no further education to be able to call me/us that or slap labels on our foreheads as such. They are not psychologists or psychiatrists and they didn’t even watch entire videos or even more than 30 seconds of it if they did at all. How is that they have the authority or was it self appointed? Likely the latter.

So, how does anyone get their estranged adult back into their lives? They don’t. These adults have made up their minds as to what you as parents have allegedly done even if it was re-writing or justifying their own reasons and calling everyone who doesn’t agree with them or their stances “toxic, narcissists” or whatever their hearts desire to say. They have no qualifications and I have been through test after test by 3 different therapists to say that I’m NOT. So, what gives them the right? It’s plain and simple. They want it. They’re mad/angry and they really want to get back at everyone who says differently even if they never watch or listen or read. Oh heck, can they even read an article? That’s the question that I have to ask. Title it “Ralph Smart” though and they read it. Better yet, they want their parents to change to suit their needs or wants at this moment. Oh yes, these needs and wants will likely change (and remember that loads of adults who were beaten and had addicted parents are still with their parents but that’s not what we’re talking about here…though lots of adults who have estranged will not read this far into this article.

So, having said that much…I’m giving up on the entire thing now. Let sleeping adults do as they will. I’ve worn the hat and I and husband/father has too so now it’s up to the estranged to do as they please. They will anyway and frankly, I’ve tried and gotten back what amounts to a reason…justification for doing as they are doing. Give it to them. That’s what they want…or think that they do…give it to them and wish them well while you’re doing it. That’s it. That’s the entire crux of the matter. Hand them their walking papers and don’t look back at what they’ve done. You and I and everyone else has raised a child to adulthood or have raised several of them so now it’s up to the estranged adults to live their own lives for whatever their reasons which only they will have in mind. I’ve tried and so has husband. Give up trying now and put it down to your past like you’ve done with so many other things that you’ve done in Life. It was a choice and job that you’ve done. Walk away from it all now. No one can make them see what they will not see or want to believe. Why try…unless you’re a glutton for punishment and being called names or walked off on again and again.

So…this blog will change topics as will my methods. Enough with the estrangement aspect of my life now.

From my little corner of life to yours, as with Harry and Meghan…your adults who have estranged are NOT your issue anymore. You’ve done your job whether they liked it or not or feel free to slap labels onto everyone’s foreheads or whether they watch, listen or read anything. It’s not up to you or I or anyone else. They are as they are and you’ve done your work as a parent. You’ve raised them to adulthood and given them life. Give up now and walk away. They have! Why not you too and me?

Best wishes and stay safe!
Love and Light!

Estrangement Happens Even In The Wealthiest Of Families: Meghan & Harry Vs The Royal Family

Who wears the pants in this relationship?

It’s not that I don’t believe Meghan Markel was suicidal or had suicidal thoughts. Perhaps, she did. However, not to know how to curtsey to the queen and Harry giving her lessons upon getting out of a limo just before she met the queen? Not having searched what it was like to live with the Royal Family but search for lyrics to the U.K. national anthem? What about the idea that Oprah (whom I don’t believe does heavy hitting interviews anyway) said one good point. “You (to Harry) have lived in that family all of your life. Were it not for Meghan, would you still be there?” Harry’s answer, “Yes I would still be there”. What is that saying to you?

Add in that I’ve been where Markel claims that she’s been, in having suicidal thoughts and nearly doing it. I am neither doubting her but I am not agreeing with her either. Everyone and every situation is different of course.

I’m not out to make a case here one way or the other but in my mind, Markel is as White as she is Black. As a matter of fact, unless she was using the rather trendy trend of getting points upon racism, no one would have been the wiser as to her race. By that, I mean, just looking at her, doesn’t tell me anything nor, should it you if that’s what you are thinking.

What does it mean that Harry and Prince William had been doing charity for Mental Health and Meghan allegedly couldn’t get any help and was denied? What is that telling you if you believed her side of the story?

Did you know that it was Markel, herself who had Piers Morgan FIRED because she didn’t like what he had to say about her? Yes, you’ve heard me right. An investigation into the matter was done and it turns out that it was on behalf of Markel that she, herself, had put in a demand that Morgan be fired from his job because she didn’t like what he had to say. What’s that saying to you?

Then we have the idea that Markel and Windsor were actually married 3 days before the actual ceremony? I question whose idea that was. I’m sure that Harry didn’t care but Markel did. She admitted it in the interview. Who wears the pants in that family and who has done the influencing to the point of estrangement?

The “poor” kids? Nah…they have the money that Diana left behind and live down the road from Oprah…a multibillionaire. What’s that saying about them being “poor”?

Charles not taking Harry’s calls at that point where they’d broken off from the Royal Family? Was it because Harry kept bugging Charles for financial support? Poor little rich kids who had to live temporarily in Tyler Perry’s home with paid security? Did Harry want The Royals to pay for their home and security costs? It certainly seems that way since Markel herself seems to have mentioned it several times throughout the interview as well as Archie not being given the title of Prince Archie.

Racism crept into the picture as well. It wasn’t allegedly Elizabeth or Phillip who said it and they wouldn’t name the source. Who was it that mentioned the baby’s skin colour? The Royals knew about Markel’s possibilities and until a big deal was made out of it, they didn’t make one. Was it someone from “The Family” who did or was it either all concocted through Markel’s mind or was it a passing comment? We’re likely never to know since The Royals have said very little about the circumstances. However, what timing they all had in releasing this as Prince Phillip is in hospital and everyone worried?

From my little corner of life to yours, what I see having happened with the timing of this release is that Oprah stood to gain even more publicity and money for herself. She needs more money like a hole in the head but I digress. Harry and Meghan stood to garner publicity for their projects of which there was/is that of Netflix and others. Markel did a half baked job on “Suits” and it’s that which she needed the money. She had NO intention of staying in the role that the Royals had bestowed upon her or even in that country. She stood to gain more by leaving it. That she did.

If there’s anything to be taken from this it’s that Estrangement happens in the biggest of families and the wealthiest. What is Charles or anyone else for that matter, within that family to say to Harry now? There’s nothing to be said except for a good and much needed scolding which won’t do any good anyway.

Best of wishes!

Love and Light!

How To Estrange Yourself Properly

Think you’re invincible and want to walk away? Think about what you’re doing first.

So…you think that you wish to estrange yourself from your family/parents/friend(s)? Think before you do it, please.

***By all means, IF there has been TRUE abuse (not made up by you or someone else to justify your own wishes to estrange yourself or of their own wishes) then perhaps, you may wish to estrange yourself. Check with a proper therapist before you do though.***

Abuse is where I think that everyone is getting caught up, along with labels that are being stamped onto foreheads. “Toxic”, “Narcissist” and such are given out by TRUE DSM testing and psychologists/psychiatrists. They are NOT net prescribed nor are they for you to deliver to anyone especially if you don’t know the person or their lives in spite of what you think you know. Ok? Ok!

Going a bit further, since most people tend to buy “How To Estrange” people and doctors, therapists and such so readily, let me give you one for free.

If you wish to estrange from your family, parents or friend(s) be sure of a few things first and before you do.

Be sure that you’re estranging for the right reasons. Do NOT go by anyone else and don’t make up things within your mind or that possibly happened once or twice. You’d be wrong to do so.

Make sure that the person you are listening to, has their own lives and relationships in order and for the right reasons. If they don’t or aren’t in line with whatever it is that you think about your parents/family/friend(s) could be because they, themselves have an agenda and will let you down eventually too. What then? If you think that you’ll get along without this person or your family…best of wishes to you.

What will you feel or do when the person(s) that you’ve estranged yourself from wants nothing to do with you or they die (heaven forbid)? If you think that you’ll be joyful, think again. There are plenty of people who feel that they would be better off without (fill in the blanks) as part of their lives forever only to wish that they had that person back in their lives in some way or another.

If you think that what was said in the above paragraphs is full of bull and believe that you’ll be fine….think again about it all. Life can hand out some pretty nasty things and you may need someone who you’ve cut out of your life to help you through. What if you’ve thrown them away? Have you thrown the baby out with the bathwater? If so…why have you done so? Think about those reasons and ensure that they are solid, of your own mind and not someone else’s (the influencer’s mind).

People’s feelings and lives are on the line here. Be SURE that you NEVER wish to have part of them ever again. Remember that what you feel right now may NOT be how you feel as you go along Life. Worse than that is that if you feel that #3 is full of bull and you’re going to feel fine if something were to happen and they were never part of your life again, think on it some more first.

NO parent isn’t a person first, complete with life experiences, pasts etc.. They may be parents but they do NOT owe you anything! It’s contrary to say, “but you had me so you owe me and I want things my way. My brain is developing so you owe me.” If your brain is just developing, how is it that you have the mind and capability to make such a dangerous decision?

Abuse does NOT mean that your parents won’t allow you to do as you please. Nor, does it mean that you can walk off into the sunset, never seeing or talking to that person(s) ever again. They may have moved on or worse, died if you need them or want them again. Never say “never” when it comes to people and needing them. Remember that you may be surprised by what an “influence” or your want/wish to do something may bring to you down the road. Think about it long and hard before you wander off permanently on them. A card on special occasions isn’t enough to do neither is a text or email. It’s a beginning as long as you follow up with a face to face talk through.

Give solid reasons as to why you’re estranging. This is an important step that MUST be thought through extremely carefully. You’d need to give actual reasons and not made up stuff by your own mind or someone else’s. Give point by point reasons that are TRUE. Not made up reasons or vague. If you can walk off on someone, you have to have reasons concretely from your own mind or memories. Those you walk off on have remembrances of incidents too so, giving them from someone else’s thoughts or faked or false or whatever will be seen through quite quickly. Remember this point well.

If you think that your parents or other family members have done you dirt, remember that others who either will be or are already in your life will too. What then? Do you walk away from them too or do you put up with it all? Could your expectations of those you have walked away from be correct? Are you that wise? Have you had experience in your life? Isn’t that a double standard to those you’ve walked off on? Do you do this to anyone and everyone whom you don’t like or do you put up with it because you wish to?

Addictions or usage of any substances that makes you feel good doesn’t cut the mustard for most other people. If you feel “good”, so what? Others are or could be hurting. Be SURE that your reasonings are about your reasons and not those coming from that substance or someone else. Feeling GOOD doesn’t mean that you cut off everyone who doesn’t fit with YOUR (other someone else’s) criteria. Otherwise, you’d be alone and with no job or other means to support yourself. Bosses can be more nasty than those you’ve cut off.

Back to “abuse”.

If you think that anyone is going to agree with you 100% of the time, that’s falsely assuming that someone is abusive to you. No one is going to agree with you all of the time. Not even that person that you’ve left for will. At some point or another, they are going to disagree with you or even physically hit you or whatever it is. Ask yourself if you are being manipulated by that person or a boss or whatever. It is likely that you are.

Abuse is not simply something that is done a few times but represented by everything that they do and often will involve the other person. Physical abuse is one thing, mental and emotional abuse has to be defined properly because everyone, including that substance that you’re so used to calming you down will turn on you at some point or another. Nothing and no one isn’t fallible. Remember that parents or family or friend(s) are human too and guess what? You aren’t special. You are a person too who will come to the realization one day that you are.

Parents/family/friend(s) are people. No one, not even you, are perfect nor do you hold the keys to being the only one or the person you are with, being the only one who is livable with. There are plenty of others too. By them giving you praise, checking up on you with text or calls or whatever it is that they do with any regularity does NOT mean that they care about you. It could be that they want you in their lives because they cannot make it on their own, they are mentally unhealthy, they have blown all of their other contacts/relationships and need you and plainly or simply, you are being manipulated or played. Parents, family, friends aren’t the only ones (at least in your mind).

By the way, if you are taking the word of a doctor or psychologist or other therapist, remember that they have had little to no training in your decision to estrange and MAY give you a reason that you’ve taken out of context on which to justify your decision. They likely, had you not taken it out of context, would have gone further with it.

If after all of this, you still want or wish to estrange yourself from others who were part of your life, do so but trust that there could come a day or time when you wish them to be part of your life again in some way and they’re not going to be there for you.

Whatever you do, make sure that you are truly and the term, TRULY does apply here, mean that you wish to have it this way forever because there may not be another chance ever for you to go backwards.

Best wishes, stay well!

Racism And Prejudice Exists But Not Just For Blacks

Prejudice exists within even the Black Community and everyone feels it at some point or another.
Prejudice exists everywhere, including in the Black Community

I know that racism exists but if one were to think of their own circumstances, it’s not just against the Black population. It’s everywhere for all sorts of reasons.

Yes, I know that there a ton of Black Lives Matter activists and a whole pile of people who will scream out about this topic and at me for having said what others are thinking but the truth is that if one were to look at a 20 something year old and upwards who shouts out the “RACIST” titles at others, they need to do some home cleaning before they go shouting this title out.

Once upon a time, I owned a store with a business partner. The sentiments that came from others was totally disgraceful and tell-tale of a society that screams out racist at every turn. Add to it the fact that Black people would NOT do business with a White person yet would pay far more for the exact same things and spit into our store and you can see what I am saying.

Naively, I went into having a store and believing that all people were equally treated. Not so. If one wasn’t of the same culture or race or weight or whatever one can imagine, they were let know that they weren’t welcomed into the area. Did it simply involve the Black population? No! It came from every culture, colour, race, creed, religion, financial group etc.. However, suffice it to say that I didn’t ask for the colour of my skin or anything else that I have to spite them especially those who would be the ones who screamed and cried and spit into our store which sold what that community was looking to garner. Frankly, I’m fed up with paying for whatever it is that they want. It’s not me who has done this to them nor, is it me who is holding it there. It’s them. They are the ones doing it and quite honestly, I’m fed up with being one who takes it all because of the colour of my skin, my car (which is not fancy by any means of the word) nor my country of origin. More clearly, let me say right here and now that I did not enslave others and I am not going to take blame for something that I didn’t do and never would. I may be White but I am about as far from slavery as the 30 something year old who is standing with a microphone or bull horn, calling on police to change or be defunded. It was never my choice to enslave people nor was it or is it those who stand out in protests about slavery and never have met someone who was a slave.

Though it’s more than likely that I will receive a lot of flack about this piece from the Black community…think twice before you set off on a keyboard to call me names. I am NOT talking about Blacks only here. I am talking about everyone who holds any type of a grudge against someone else’s lot in life. Got it? No? Ok, read on.

Lest anyone think that they are perfect or following a fad with the “Black Lives Matter” groups, think again. Are YOU perfect? Do YOU have NO prejudices? Does it bother you to see those who have better cars or houses? What about their religions? How about you judging others because you are one way and someone else is another? If you can answer any of these questions then you need to think about your own issues because you are “racist” too.

If anyone thinks that they hold the keys to having racism under their experiences, think again. Everyone has felt it at some point or another. Every single person walking this earth with some sort of experience under their belts can say that they have also felt some sort of prejudice or another. If not…go live your life more before you stand at a protest.

I have felt racism at every turn of the word. I have been on the other side of things and let me say that the Black Community is as prejudice as any other in this world. I am not a tiny woman nor am I rich by any means of the word. Even my religion has been picked apart by those of a different religion. I have been picked upon by others while statues have been toppled, splashed with paint and names of streets have been considered being changed to suit groups who can loot and shout loudly.

In short, I am tired of being called a “racist” because of the colour of my skin. I was born with it. Live with it.

That said, I won’t even say what I’d normally say at the end of each piece that I write because EVERYONE has experienced some form of prejudice in one way or another at some point or many in their lives.

If someone or several want to leap upon me for having said it, I’m calling everyone around, including the Black population, “prejudice”.

Marketing Gadgets Can Cause Money Loss

Has anyone ever bought something off of a tv informercial because it all appeared so easy to do that it seemed like some sort of dream gadget?

It’s not such a “dream gadget” in most cases. It’s simply great marketing of it.

Does anyone know how many studies and pitches marketing people go through in order to sell their products? Let’s say that it’s millions, including psychology. Yes, they will even learn how to pitch an item via psychological conditioning and study the studies done by polls and other ways to preach the holy grail of sales to the masses.

If it looks easy, it’s going to save you and others time, right?

Hold the horses here. Right here. It’s never as simple as they show it on tv or commercials/infomercials. The pitch person has not only practised this or these items over and over again but marketers and manufacturers who hire marketing firms will lie to you.

How do they lie?

The edit the everliving crap out of how things turn out. Sometimes, it’s not the once that they’ve had the finished product produced but because of many takes. There are even times when the end product is not at all from the product that they’re selling. It can be clearly seen that it’s not the same thing. Where does all of that footage go that they’ve taken? They’ve hit the delete button on many occasions. Take one look at YouTubers who flip something in the air and in “bloopers” or at the end of the video, while it may look like they’ve done it in one try, the truth is, there are more takes than one cares to think about and it’s all been edited together to look like it’s been tried only once. Don’t believe me? Watch YouTubers who admit or show bloopers that they had to try 40 or 49 times before they got a shot the way that they wanted it to go. The same holds true for those who do beauty stuff or artists do in what seems like one shot, have you ever tried it and said to yourself or someone else “they make it seem so easy on the video!”. Little do people know (until they try it for themselves) that the person who taped it all, has 400 pieces tossed somewhere off camera that weren’t exactly what they wanted to show.

The same thing holds true for marketing.

Have you ever been down the aisles of hair care products and wondered what the difference is because there’s so many of them? You’ve walked off angry, frustrated and perhaps hot, only to hear someone who is trying to sell their own products tell you that drug store stuff is bad for you? How about makeup and high names or entire stores devoted to say, makeup? Has your wallet gone dry or been stripped as well as your bank account because you’re convinced that the more expensive stuff is the best? In some cases, yes it is better but in most, it’s not. It’s marketing. You’re paying for the name and store and fancy retail clerks not the product.

I was in both a drug store and I’ve been down the aisles for instance of a hair care store. Let me tell you that I’ve read more labels and ingredients than I care to read. They ALL, including the fancy smancy and pricey shampoos and conditioners. They all contained similar ingredients or the same. I was about to pay for fancy packaging and don’t get me started on the natural stuff. It’s code for expensive with no real benefits beyond the labelling of the products or plant based ingredients. Remember that terming something as “natural” doesn’t mean “without risk”.

My underarms from “natural” deodorants smelled horrible after half a day and my hair laid and even stood on end no matter how much I tried to slick it down, in a matted state until I washed and conditioned my hair with normal shampoo and conditioner.

I’ve paid over $90.00 Cdn at a hair salon for their fancy shampoos and conditioners and realized that my drug store brand at $14.00 CAD was and worked far better. That also goes for beauty supply places that hairdressers get their original formulations in while in 5 gallon drums and pour it into bottles, marking the price way up on it so that they make a ton of the greenbacks on your credit or debit card.

Did you know that Ponds for instance that has been around since our grandmother’s times, was the cleanser and people would lather it onto their faces as a moisturizer? It does as good a job as any of the higher priced products that line the shelves beside it. It wasn’t until it was discovered that if they labelled it differently, they could sell 2 products instead of one. If one were to look at the bottom shelves, beyond the $49 or $75 or more products, one will find it.

I also found that not only did VO5 provide leave in conditioning and did the job of several products in one but, it left hair shiny too. I feel horrible that it’s gone now as they no longer make the product that was in the men’s section and worked better than anything else on the ladies aisle.

If you’re hooked on say “Mac” products…keep in mind that you’re paying for not only the name but the stores, the fancy packaging, clerks and marketing but so much more too. Whoever thought of “real Italian pizza” with Italian songs etc. on commercials then went on to hear “by Dr. Oetker” has a few cells missing if they believe that crap. Thankfully, the product is good and cheap but it goes to show that anyone caught up in something and believing that it’s somehow better is caught up in marketing, not the product necessarily.

From my little corner of life to yours, realize that marketing whether it’s by an individual in saying “buy my book(s)” or “course(s)” will also come to the realization that marketing comes in many different forms but isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be and that you could be being fooled into buying something because it looks so authentic or the person selling it to you seems so nice. Think twice, please.

On that note,

Have a great day or evening or weekend.

Love and Light!

So This Is Christmas…What Has 2020 Done

2020 Stole Christmas Too?

First of all, in case I forget to say it, may your days be as merry and bright as they can be right now.

Let’s get right to the meat of things then shall we?

2020 was a horrible year for atrocities and mental health as well as deaths and so much more, wasn’t it? It’s really curbed most people’s not only financial abilities but more key here, personal capabilities. How many hours of tv, Netflix, Meditation or simply staying away from others can a person or people be expected to do? HINT: I’ve done all of mine now. I’m ready to punch a few politicians in the head. I say that with a laugh because I’m not going to do it but push me far enough and I may.

Just as we are to get a vaccine which could for many, mean months, there’s a few questions that I have about this stuff.

  1. What if the Ct values or amplification is too high or needlessly high? When they leave it up to each lab to decide what magnification to use (at first or even now) how is that a Ct beyond 20 cycles proves more? 20 cycles tend to show that there is an active virus and no, I am not a virologist but I’ve listened to many.
  2. Does it do anyone any good to get a result of “yes” or “no” back from these PCR tests back some days after the virus if one were to have had it? By then, are people not already past the infectious stage?
  3. Why do more PCR tests and “bank” them when it’s not possible to do them all and have thousands which have no results to them to those who went through it all?
  4. Who is monitoring that labs for contamination?
  5. Why is it that airports are STILL taking in people internationally who are travelling and doing so without proper monitoring?
  6. Lock everyone who is locked down and loose businesses or jobs based upon rising numbers that only get more numerous due to testings that are done upon symptoms or non-symptoms?
  7. Produce a so-called “vaccine” that has never been made or used the same as any other vaccine to date then lock everyone down as hopes get raised on them, tell them that there’s an even faster spreading variant and that the lockdowns need to continue or be put into place?
  8. Waiting several days to a week to place areas or regions into lockdown don’t make any sense at all. It only crowds more and more people into places before it happens. Wouldn’t it make even more sense to either poop or get off of the pot?
  9. If Lab workers and doctors, nurses etc., are tired out after 10 months, why are there even more loaded onto their shoulders while some take vacations during a pandemic and other places were already laying off staff and in financial trouble to begin with?
  10. Let’s take into account too that there is something called “human error” when things get so far into the game of being tired out and burned out. Again, why load even more and more onto them? Is it more to fix broken systems that were losing money Pre-pandemic while others have already gone under?
  11. We have found out that BIG (and I mean BIG) box stores were already on the edge and this just tipped them over. Why? Why too when we’re talking about hospitals? Something doesn’t make sense to me here but someone will tell me that it was bound to happen later and Covid simply accelerated it all. Does money make the world go round?
  12. Why is it that big shots like Dr. Birx can tell everyone to stay put and yet, go on vacation for Christmas with her family and 3 generations? This has happened with big shot politicians too. What is that saying? Do as I do, not as I say? That’s what it’s saying to me. Whatever happened to what’s good for the goose is good for the gander?
  13. How much do politics and money play into this virus and the pandemic?
  14. A lot of money seems to have been given out by governments. Is it really a lot or are they simply posturing because in the end, we’ll all be taxed more than we could believe?
  15. Hold onto the days in our homes because we’re about to become homeless? Is that why construction during lockdowns is still allowed to occur? Build more apartments and condo buildings?
  16. Put in alleged “laws” that truly aren’t enforceable? Why is it that a restauranteur was not only visited by police and by-law officers allowed to remain open for a full day and into a second one with the customers not told to mask or physical distance and why was it ok for this owner to shun the so-called “laws” without so much as a ticket being given out during a “lockdown phase” and only be slammed with charges because he had NO business license for two locations? How enforceable are these laws?
  17. Why, when dozens of people have called in to complain about illegal gatherings has nothing been done? I don’t want to hear that it’s because there aren’t enough by-law officers around when it takes them days to get there and everyone is gone so they can’t catch them in the act. Please don’t insult my intelligence by telling me that people without jobs couldn’t write out tickets. If one can write and is given a pen as well as the tickets on which to write out names what would it take to have a few day seminar to teach them Covid laws? There are hundreds of thousands of people without work during this pandemic. They don’t need to know other by-laws and we’ve already had the knowledge to physically distance, wash our hands and wear masks drilled into our heads. Does this make any sense to you?
  18. Today, they’ve announced that no one can “sue” either the governments nor Pfizer or Moderna for making the vaccines. If you have a life-long or even troublesome event from these things, you’re on your own buddy. The best one can hope for is to use the workmen’s comp or other insurances that your employer can provide for you. That is, all up to $50,000.00 per year that they can give you. Again, does this make sense to you or the fact that an employer CAN tell you that either you get vaccinated or you’re terminated?
  19. Does it also add up for you that it’s said that you aren’t obligated to get this shite put into your body no matter how hastily it’s been developed but if you don’t get it, you could find yourself being excluded from places like movie theatres and so much more? While it’s considered voluntary…is it really? Do we have a choice if we wish to live any type of normal lives?
  20. Why did the stock market go up and why did big box chain stores find ways to do business in spite of having BIG profit margins? Why did big box chain stores get to sell books for instance and clothing while smaller local stores weren’t even allowed to stay open at whatever capacity the governments wanted them to be at?
  21. If masks are required everywhere and this is so rampant did stores stop mandating numbers in stores, up and down arrows that no one needs to be able to read and employees not have to follow the protocols either?
  22. Why did some hospitals have outbreaks that were “employee” related? Shouldn’t they know the rules by now like the rest of us?
  23. Let’s talk about storage units who will rent out spaces to practically anyone and yet, these same people who rented them from the vendor will throw lavish get togethers allegedly, secretly and charge cover charges to get in? Shouldn’t the self-storage places be shut down too to new rentals or anything that’s outdoors?
  24. What about those who are traveling during the holidays? Millions of people in the U.S. are flying even within the country and Canada is doing the same. Why?
  25. If there is even the remotest of chances that the more spreadable variant of Covid is or will be spread to places like Canada or the U.S., why are plane loads of people still coming in daily without checks or balances and the same holds true for politicians who use the airports this way?

It’s natural that I could go on and on all day with huge question marks over all sorts of things Covid related but I won’t. Why? It’s because I’d hope that you’d have your thinking cap on too now like I do.

From my little corner of life to yours, there are many questions and confusion surrounding this tiny unseen virus from wherever it came from but it’s also of little to no use in ringing in 2021 as it’s likely to be a continuation or worse than 2020.

2020 was the year that didn’t exist and 2021 is shaping up to be the same way.

In the meantime, while ALL of us are down and gloomy about the future, let’s try to have at least a day in which we celebrate the things that we can. Forget about the gifts and stuffing or whatever is your favourite meal to have each Christmas. Feel lucky to be alive still. Keep on trucking because 2020 has brought me more questions than answers and lessons than I care to think about right now. It’s all about money and saving it wherever possible.

Be well!

Love and Light!

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