Words Mean Nothing: Why It May Be Time To Quit Trying

The Script may already have been written. Give up.

Covid-19 with its issues, fears etc., protests and riots every night for George Floyd, my nephew having surgery alone, my car breaking down and needing another used one on financing because we couldn’t afford it, the sewers backing up into our basement (more stuff gone), water pipes bursting and a lot of electronics gone, secondary damages done by a restoration company sent in by the insurance company, our cat dying after thousands of dollars in trying to save her and the list goes on and on and on. Actually, I could go on all day but, I won’t.

As if to add insult to injury, I got 2 notes and a letter today by people who think that their issues are the worst in the world and that everyone should be bowing to them in one way or another. This is yet another list that I could go on about but, won’t.

Suffice it to say that everyone on this planet has issues or problems. No one is free of feelings, worries, troubles and even illnesses of some kind or another. There aren’t any human beings who haven’t had problems. Get these people to see that point though and it would be like trying to climb a mountain that is set at 90 degrees, without ropes or shoe grips. In other words, it’s ridiculous especially, when you know that you’ve been through far worse or are going through it yourself.

Those who think that I was put on this planet for them and their problems, have another thing that they need to think about.

These types of people need to remember that everyone has issues, troubles, problems and that their issues or problems may be worse to them because they think that they are but, reality is saying that while their troubles are theirs and feel bad, they aren’t the only ones who have and even had the same or worse. They aren’t exclusive people and I wasn’t put on this planet to serve them or their needs or wants. I have problems too, like they all have and so do many, if not everyone else on this planet. The world and I don’t need to go to them.

Once someone has a long-standing problem that others have tried to help with or at the least, give suggestions towards trying to help, that’s it!

I can’t count the number of times where I’ve heard the same troubles over years and years but, people do nothing about them to make it better. They simply complain and cry and whine about it all and expect me to somehow come up with something that will make them ok. My ears have bled with listening, my mouth has overflowed with my limited knowledge and suggestions and still the same problems keep coming up. Not the least of which, people expect that others are going to constantly chase them down to figure it all out for them when they aren’t willing to do a thing or can’t.

However, I am out of suggestions for a lot of these long-termed issues that get whined and cried about over and over and over again. That’s when the new problems get mixed in with the old that have been ongoing for years.

It’s not that I don’t want to help but, it’s more that I can’t help them any longer. There’s nothing more to say, do or try. In other words, that’s it. I can’t do any more and last time I checked, I wasn’t omnipotent whereby every problem that someone else has, I can solve. After all, I do have a life and issues of my own. I’ve tried and tried but, at some point, that halo that I attempted to put over my head, isn’t there because I was never the one who could have solved these problems in the first place. It was always up to that person or persons to do for themselves.

Just because I did try, doesn’t mean that I’m a doormat or will always bend over for anyone.

There are people out there who truly believe that I should continue trying no matter what they say or do, no matter how right or wrong they believe themselves to be. Have I got a news flash for them!

Not only can I not solve everything but, I also have a life and problems too. I wasn’t put here on this planet a doormat nor, will I bend over and keep taking flack or whatever it is that one wishes to dish out towards me. I only have 2 cheeks on my face and once one is being slapped with other things in my own life, I can hand someone else the other for a time or two. Keep trying though and those who think that I should be there for them, are going to find out that I’m not a doormat, won’t take on their crud from their own boot bottoms and that I’m not about to offer up yet another cheek. I’ve run out of them and I am not going to continue trying.

I give up on trying with anyone and everyone because what they believe is correct, they don’t see that others have points of view too.

Two men were brought into an ER one night.

One man had a broken little toe. He screamed, yelled, begged for pain killers and well…you get the gist.

Not 10 minutes later, a man was brought in with a horribly broken leg with several breaks, bones sticking through the skin, bleeding all over the place. He was in pain but, he didn’t want to be a disturbance to anyone.

After 15 minutes of the man who broke his little toe, groaning, screaming, yelling and begging for pain meds, the nurse walked into the waiting area and called in the man who had his leg broken in several places, bones sticking out through the broken skin and called him to come in and be seen.

Broken Toe: “Hey, I was here first. Why does HE get to go in?”

Nurse: “Because, Sir, he is more urgent than your injury is”.

Broken Toe: “But, I’m in PAIN! I need something NOW!”

Nurse: “Once I get this man under control, I will come back for you. It should be 10 minutes or so.”

A lot of shouting, moaning, groan etc., from the man who’s toe was allegedly broken.

Leg Broken: No, no, Nurse…please take him first!

Nurse: Why sir? You do know that you will likely have to have surgery and this man’s little toe is at issue, not his entire leg.

Leg Broken: I know but, HE seems like he’s in more pain than I am. I’ll wait.

Once something has gone too far, it’s gone. I’ve been “The Broken Leg” and have let the broken toe guy go ahead of me. Why? Because that’s what I’ve always done. However, if I try once and even twice and there’s only this righteous indignation, I’m now done. I will try no more. Why is that? Because trying does no good. It only makes me seem like I’m more of a doormat or grovelling. Once one believes that they are worse off than you are, they aren’t going to believe anything else. They’re already written the script for themselves with you as the dunce and them as the hard done by ones. They have already written the ending for you and it involves you doing a lot of bowing to and for them. In other words, your trying doesn’t do a thing since they’ve already decided that they are the ones hardest done by and you are the one who either did it or should take their crap. Therefore, I’ve given up on trying now beyond what my word has said. If they don’t believe me at my word, that’s their problem, not mine.

Just because you have in the past, doesn’t mean that you have to keep doing the same things.

If you’ve always been one to run to someone’s aid, once you’ve been kicked or slapped, stop! Learn from your mistakes like other people do even if you’ve always been that way.

Oh yes, you’ll likely lose a few people but, the question always remains, WHAT did you lose and at what cost to you did you lose it? In other words, did you really lose anything if you think of what you’ve had to do to keep something or someone?

If you’re about to try to say, “yes, but, I’ve always been there for everyone and I can’t stop now,” ask yourself two simple questions. “At what cost to me and my life” and “did it change anything or go the way that I’d hoped it would go?”

At what cost to me did I please everyone else and did it work?

Answer yourself honestly. Think back to what you’ve tried and how many times you’ve done it. If you can answer that it hasn’t netted you anything or that you had foregone a bath or eating or going out or whatever it was that you had to give up, you’ve more than done your part.

I believe it was Einstein that said that “doing the same things and expecting a different result” is the definition of insanity. Frankly, it was and is. Have you learned your lesson or do you wish to go back for Round 1026?

Time to change if you’ve done anything and everything to have a warm body beside you.

That above saying came from a therapist. Sadly, she was correct. I’d have done just about anything to have a warm body beside me. It’s gotten me nowhere good. Those who have loved me for who I am (a human being) and not expected more out of me than being a normal person, will always be around me in some way or another. People who believe that they should be “served” are usually the ones who are most miserable within themselves or, who believe you to be beneath them. Both are delusional ways of thinking. Does anyone really need or want someone like that around them? If you answered “yes” to that one, you’re not ready nor, have you learned any lesson yet.

Believing that you can make a difference in their thinking is not correct either. Even if someone has concocted something in their own minds, if they believe it to be true and don’t bother to try to find out the reality behind it, you’ve wasted your time, energy and breath in attempting to change anything within them or their lives. It isn’t going to happen. Give up trying to “straighten things out” so to speak. You can lead a horse to water but, you cannot make them drink. In the same way, no one can make someone else see other people’s points of view or problems once they’ve convinced themselves of something or they’re ballsy enough to think that only they have issues, troubles, problems and even “illnesses” that are decades old or aren’t really illnesses but rather manifestations of some other reason.

From my little corner of life to yours, if you’re finding others full of contradictions, made-up reasons or pre-written what they believe is “the truth”, try once to make them see your point of view and that more has happened since your last attempt if it has. However, once telephone conversations have gone from that to text messages or other forms of communication, walk away. You’re not going to win this as they’re taking the chicken’s way out of things and honestly, it only makes me madder than anything to see the distortions in their words, thoughts and actions or lack of them.

On that note, be well, stay well,

Love and Light!

Let’s Not Offend Anyone

Let’s take down ANYTHING that offends anyone

It’s hard to realize that something anywhere could offend a group of people or even a single person. Of course, there are a plethora of sources with which to get information about almost anything so, why not get rid of all names, artwork, statues or whatever of anyone and everything. Keep only abstracts going or up? Let’s not offend anyone.

I’m White. I hated what I saw on those video tapes of all sorts of killings. I can’t even stand watching the news because there are killings from stabbings to shootings of even innocent by-standers. Seeing the cell phone videos of G. Floyd’s death was attrocious.

Since so many people are offended by so much, why not turn street names to numbers? Why keep paintings except for abstracts? What about statues of anyone or anything around? Get rid of them all. After all, something is about to offend someone, right?

Today, I heard on every single news station in my country that names of major streets should be changed. I’ve seen statues that have been up for quite some time now, rolled into water ways or taken down by crane and all because they had offended some people. That said, while I agree with the sentiments, I say that every single thing that gets said or done has the ability to put off some group or person. Why let anything do so?

Let the news be of an animal talking and not a real person.

Make statues and art only abstracts unless the colours in them offend someone. In which case, take them down.

Let NO religious signs be placed anywhere.

Make no differences between males and females. Covid-19 be damned since it picks on certain genders, age groups and such.

Make socio-economic groups equal. No more rich or poor. Everyone is equal.

Healthcare should be free to everyone and all medical places open 24/7. Oh wait, that may offend some doctors and nurses. Ok, well have shifts of doctors and nurses in every single place there can be with all of the medical help any place could ever dream of giving.

Reserves for Natives need to be not only kept in place even though they all shop at Trader Joe’s or Metro. Give them breaks so that even though no one often hunts, gardens or fishes much any longer, their lands were taken from them and there’s prejudice in every faction of government against them.

Pay more taxes and in unison so that no one gets away with anything, not even the wealthy of the bunch and everyone else can prosper in some way with services.

No more Plus or Petite Sized stores or departments. Everything is mingled amongst the average sizes so that no one gets offended.

Women are no longer stay at home so, everyone should help around the house and women get equally paid for what they do. Even husbands or males or children have to help out.

No music as country or other genres may offend some people.

Get rid of movies or televisions since it may be all one colour and that may be offensive to some. For instance, Bollywood movies have got to go lest they make someone angry. There are plenty more. Friends are all white. Get rid of those.

What about long hair, short hair, t-shirts, sayings, colours in clothing? They too may offend. Simple cloth-potato sacks for everyone may help if everyone wears the same style, colour or shape?

Wait a minute…except for the clothing, hasn’t most of this described Communism? I think it has. Ok, forget about that then because there are those who think all countries which are Communist are offensive and third world.

While we’re at it, let’s also get rid of any military, institutionalized organizations. Who needs them when everyone has guns? They only cause problems anyway, right?

Even the colour of your home is going to offend someone, somehow. Let’s paint every house or home the same colours. Hey, what colour does black, white, red, yellow, brown and whatever other colour mixed together make? That’s what should be done to every place around so as not to offend someone.

Get rid of Walmarts, chain food places, types of foods that represent one population or another. Let’s make it all “the no theme place” and paint it the colour mentioned above?

There is much more that can be changed but, from my little corner of life to yours, get a cell phone video of it and let’s make changes so that no one is offended in any way.

Best of wishes!

Did “Baby” Houseman And Johnny Castle Stay Together After Kellermans

Did Baby and Johnny stay together after the 3 weeks at Kellerman’s?

This was a movie. It wasn’t real. It wasn’t even shot in the same space but, rather 2 resorts in the Fall in order to resemble the Catskill Mountains. The lake has long since dried up and Patrick Swayze has been dead for years now. His wife in real life has re-married and the ranch in which they lived, has been sold.

Many different searches have been done to figure out whether Baby & Johnny stayed together after their Kellerman’s experience.

Have you noticed that the staff coming in are being lectured as though this was their first day there when it was 3 weeks from Labour Day? Hmmmm….kind of fishy to many if not everyone who caught that point, right?

Did you already know that “Dirty Dancing” was not meant to make it to the heights that it did?

How about the fact that Swayze (who played Johnny Castle) was only really interested in the dancing of the movie and not much else?

Are you familiar with the idea that (Jennifer Grey) “Baby” in the movie and Swayze couldn’t really stand one another in real life? Swayze saw dance as the only part of the movie that he cared about while Grey was not a dancer and saw the acting as her real life father (Joel Grey) as more important.

The lodge where it was partially shot (the rest was shot in one of the Carolinas) has changed and was never called Kellerman’s?

The water in which Baby and Johnny attempted the “lifts” was so cold that it was difficult for both of them to act romantic in it?

What about the idea that Jennifer Grey “Baby Housman” was really afraid of the “lifts” in real life? Did you know that much about her?

Scenes like where Swayze “tickled Baby” by running his fingers down her side and she laughed while he looked ticked off during practises on stage were real and the producers and directors decided to keep them in rather than put them on a blooper’s reel?

More than half of the leading cast is dead in real life now?

That gazebo which overlooked the lake where Jake Housman (Baby’s father) sat with his feet up, looking onto it after finding out that Baby had spent the night with Johnny, now overlooks a field, not a lake as do many other points that were in the movie?

How about the idea that Baby (Jennifer Grey) had a bad case of food poisoning in her real life that kept threatening that she throw up during the stair scene as she came down them, practising from practise?

Love scenes between Baby and Johnny were acted out when in fact the two actors couldn’t really stand one another. Talk about Academy Award Winning Performances, huh?

What person goes to cry about being pregnant while in a hotel kitchen, on the floor, back against the wall? Think of that scene where Penny sobbed, mascara running down her cheeks, trying to keep quiet while Baby and Neil were in the kitchen in the dark? You mean to tell me that Penny had nowhere else to cry or that Neil, the owner’s grandson, couldn’t find a light switch? And, after all of that, Neil tells Baby that she can “have anything that she wants” then proceeds to tell her that there’s some left over rice pudding, gherkin pickles and a brownie? That’s all that there was in that entire hotel’s fridge? Oh, yum! My taste buds just dance with delight upon hearing those words.

Do you know that Johnny-Swayze had a bad drinking problem in real life and was an alcoholic during that movie or in the actor’s life?

“Marge Housman” played by Kelly Bishop was originally cast as “Vivian Pressman aka The Bungalow Bunny or Moe Pressman’s wife”? When the actress who was to play Marge Housman, suddenly became ill, Kelly Bishop was re-cast into that role and another actress took Bishop’s place as good ole Vivian?

How about Baby’s movie sister, Lisa when she says something like “oh this rain…remind me not to take….” and Baby/Frances announces that she’s going to the “west lobby” because “they’re having charades” when Jake Housman sits there like an idiot, without questioning anything, knowing what he knew? “Quite the little joiner aren’t we,” says “Lisa”. How oh how did “Lisa” suddenly get to know that Baby wasn’t “Daddy’s girl” or that he “listens when I talk now”? Something is amiss but, it fits the scripts, doesn’t it?

There are many more tid-bits that could be said but, suffice it to say that this was a MOVIE. It’s left up to your imagination as to whether this was a summer fling or if they stayed together. Never mind that a movie was made for television in which the 2 leading characters never did get together. It’s all up to you and your imagination as to what happened after it.

From my little corner of life to yours, I have watched that movie so many times now that I could recite the lines of each character before they do or as they do. It’s like I was reading from the scripts. That much said, I do want to believe that Johnny and Baby did get together and stay together albeit, with Johnny as a painter and plasterer, Baby having gone into the Peace Corps and having babies around her feet in a small house. I picture them happy and telling grandchildren about how they met at Kellerman’s during the summer of 1963. That being said though, I have had my own “summer flings” and none of them are in my life now. You be the judge though. What’s your desired outcome for them? Do you want them to be together? They’re together. Did you want that to be simply a summer thing or fling? That’s all that it was then. No one is right and no one is wrong. That’s why they left things as they did. It’s up to you to decide with your own creativity and that’s why I posted another piece on how the movie and these 2 as a piece of the film was left on the cutting room floor (link there just click on it) which may or may not be pertinent to whatever you wish to believe. It’s also possible that if the actors were willing and able, they left it open for a sequel which we know never happened with the original cast and their deaths.

On that note,

Be well, stay well, use your imagination and…

Love and Light!

My Deceased Brother’s Still Playing Pranks On Me And Loving It

Showing that brothers and sisters still have that bond that never leaves even in death.
Only another sibling will know what you do, who you are and nothing matters to them as you are their brother or sister.

Today would have been my deceased brother’s 62nd birthday. I’ve wished him a happy birthday out of habit. We were close both in age as well as in friends, schools, thoughts and saw each other through so much in life so, it only seemed fitting for me and my husband (his brother-in-law) to wish him the happiest of birthdays.

I know that this birthday was simply a birth onto this planet but, I wanted to acknowledge that lucky day when he was born into this one. He now lives another, I’m certain but, how do I know? I can only hope. Still there are sometimes when I hear him talking to me through my “mind’s eye” as I refuse to let him go and told him so as he was dying. As a matter of fact, I wanted to crawl into his hospital ICU bed with him, telling him that he wasn’t going without me with him. It was our youngest brother whose face kept me here. I honestly didn’t even know how it was that I was going to die but, i wanted to be with him. If I knew then what I know now, I would have made a different decision, I’m sure and, no, this is not Covid-19 talking or depression from it.

There are 12 years difference in age between myself and my youngest brother. I love him dearly and there were 10 years in difference between my deceased brother and my youngest brother. Actually, it was my deceased brother and myself who had a huge hand in raising our youngest brother so, when the now deceased brother was dying, with only about a year and 10 months between us (me, being the eldest), it seemed only natural that I wanted to go with my deceased brother wherever it was that he was going. Still, I had to take care of my youngest brother though he was now a man and not a child.

As Life would have it, my youngest brother had moved about an hour plus away from me, taking with him, my 3 nephews. I love them too with all of my heart. One is now 13 years of age, the other 2 are 17 years and 22 years of age. I love all of them, including my sister-in-law. Sadly though, she wanted to be near her family who all lived up where they reside now and after caring for my younger brother in honour of both myself and our deceased brother, I was shut out by all of them though not totally or completely. Why oh why had I not found a way to leave this planet when my brother closest in age to me did? That question still haunts me and frankly, I wish that I had have.

Today, on June 6, 2020, I’m glad that my deceased brother didn’t have to put up with the pandemic that we’re going through. He’d been there with us all when my father and mother, grandparents and everyone else who’d died, left this planet. For those deaths that he hasn’t been here for, if there’s a life outside of this one, I’m sure that he’s greeted each of them. After all, I asked him to take care of them, show them “the ropes” so to speak while I did the best that I could do with our youngest brother who is now a man.

There’s an entire story behind this that I would love to share but, brevity in space doesn’t permit me to do that. Suffice it to say that a lot has happened since my brother who is deceased left this earthly existence and none of it has been nice to say the least. Yet, I know with all that’s in me, though I honoured him in the only way that I knew how to do it, he would have been around for me, making me laugh until I nearly pee’d my pants. I kid you not.

Today however, has already been attrocious as we near only half way through it or so. Out of all of the women that my brother married or lived with, I will say that the one girlfriend that I absolutely hated, has contacted me. I could almost hear my deceased brother’s laughter as I saw her message to me. He must have gotten quite a kick out of the swear words that I let out upon hearing and seeing her message and the fact that in spite of them never being married, she’d taken on our last name. Why? I don’t know but, I can tell you that it has done quite the number on my head and heart. Another woman that my brother dated when we were in our teens or so, had already contacted me through some gawd known why way, waiting for my deceased brother to respond in some way. When I called her and told her that he’d become deceased, she has stopped contacting me. I knew that would happen as we only knew OF each other, we didn’t really know one another. I could hear my deceased brother laughing at that too.

With my daughter estranged from everyone from her past, my youngest brother and his wife having moved far away with little to do with us in spite of a lot of help having gone out to him, drugs being in my daughter’s life, along with a moron and mentally unhealthy person who has caused her to become that way as well, my nephews and even nieces from my husband’s side of the family also living 1 hour in the other direction from my brother, my youngest brother’s kids or my nephews not bothering with anyone except friends or themselves and so much more, let it be said that today heralds a day in which there is some message. When I’ve figured it out, I will post that story.

From my little corner of life to yours, while the one brother that I could always count on in some way or another has deceased, he has not let himself go unnoticed and he’s seemingly taken great delight in letting me know that he still is playing his pranks on me. Tell someone close to you today that you love them. While it may not make any difference in what they do or why, it will make a difference to you.

Happy Birthday, Ray’m!

Your Big Sis!

What Do Parents Do When Estranged From

What can parents truly do when their adults have estranged and why?

It’s not that I have all good days and am completely over it but, estrangement is much like a punishment to parents by their offspring.

I’ve spent my fair time in grieving over a lost child-turned adult. She’s clearly allowing herself to espouse the unnatural and unhealthy thinking that has infected so many people out there. Be it a drug, influencer, net related articles, because they can do so financially, a trend, a fad, or all of the aforementioned or other reasons, the reality is that children-turned adult are doing this type of thing at an alarming rate.

That is not the fault of the parents a good percentage of the time. How do I know this? I know this because there are those who have estranged themselves with no abuse or neglect having been done to them while those who have been truly abused and are of the same generations and been abused/neglected, are still around their parents.

Does that mean that those who have estranged for reasons other than abuse are calling those who stay around their parents in spite of abuse and whatever other reasons one can come up with, “stupid”? Yes and no. Part of that is because the ones who estrange themselves from family, former friends, pasts etc., are feeling somewhat smug about what they’ve done. They have rehearsed in their heads, their reasonings and really and truly don’t care about anyone else or if those who stay do so. However, they will try to convince others to estrange as well if they can because that’s how they deal with what they have written for themselves. It’s not being alone in what they’ve done that the estranged want if they have any concerns at all about others.

Sadly, a lot of estranged adults without true abuse by parents have or are working things up in their own minds so much that they have come to believe all of the garbage that they or someone else has done for them. It really doesn’t matter to them what anyone else thinks or feels because they’re only concerned about themselves. Yes, they will try to get others to see a way to estrange if they can do so but, in all honesty, they truly feel that they have been wronged by parents and others and therefore, will use that criteria or justifications to get what it is that they want.

Not many of them will even read this far into this piece and yet, they will be itching to scream out with “narcissist” or “controller” or even “toxic” at what is said here. Why? Could it be because they, themselves are about as narcissistic as well as attempted control and toxic to others as they come? In other words, they are projecting what it is that they feel onto others so as not to take any accountability for much, if anything at all. It’s up to you to answer that question for yourselves.

Can a parent reverse that process in their estranged adult and bring them back?

The answer to that is going to vary greatly but in generality, one can come to the conclusion that one can lead a horse to water but, they cannot make them drink.

Unless an estranged adult wants to see things as they really were or are and not some fabricated set of gripes or criteria, there’s not anything that a parent truly can do. If one has reached out and tried both lovingly and harshly with realities, then there is nothing left for parents to do or say. That horse isn’t going to drink water no matter how much coaxing one were to do. As a matter of fact, it will only make them back up from that water hole more and become more stubborn.

My Estranged Adult wants me to change but, I can’t see how

In all focus, it’s not the parent generally that needs to change if there’s been no abuse. It’s the idea that the adult child needs to recognize that their influencers aren’t right nor, will the necessarily be there for them forever. It’s also the idea that a lot of adult children who have estranged themselves are under the misguided and incorrect idea that they 1) didn’t ask to be born, 2) parents OWE them or they owe parents nothing because they were born, 3) giving parents that they’ve estranged from a text message on holidays mean nothing to the parent(s), 4) after having walked away from family and even possibly friends, there’s something for them to change, not their parents, 5) most drugs of any kind, bring about hallucinations, not “facts” as influencers want them to believe or the drugs themselves affect their thinking to believe, 6) their influencers are lying to them and cannot or will not keep up their pleasing ways to keep them around or sell them a line of bull until the next time that there are complaints or it’s needed 7) most influencers have their own agendas, reasons and ulterior motives. There are influencers somewhere behind this act of estrangement whether parents want to believe it or not. Enablers come in different forms.

I’ve reached out to my estranged child/children only to be met with hostility…what do I do now?

If you’re like most parents of estranged adults, you’ve done the circuit of trials. You’ve done the “I love you’s” and perhaps, even gotten them in return. You’ve told them that your door is always open to them as therapists have advised with little to no training behind them and even well-meaning but, doing the opposite to what is hoped for as it’s an easy way to get off the topic while still believing the old societal, “uh boy…you must have done something wrong” ideas. Parents are therefore left with the idea that the way to go is to blame self, listen to their adults who have estranged and turn themselves inside out like a set of sweaters to suit their moods or temperatures while doing, doing and doing some more for them. What happens when the adult changes to want Y instead of X and A, B and C too? Are parents expected to change themselves into whatever the adult wants and when?

How much do you think that someone is going to care how often you tell them that they are loved and the door is always open to them while someone runs out to buy cards for occasions and send them?

Have you tried (I’m sure that you have done so) to tell them that YOU are in trouble and could use some help?

Most parents have been in hospital or in need only to be met by either nothing or convenient (for them of course) responses where there is no follow through or they’ve sent a list of emailed or texted methods and a well wish if that much instead? A lot will find themselves with NO response at all or in being blocked. There’s a reason for that type of either lack of response or a half-assed attempt at it. Guilt or influencers as well as fear of being suckered in are at the crux of their responses or lack of them.

I have tried and tried to no avail and things have only gotten worse. What do I do now?

Give up! I know that it sounds like a “tuck your tail and run” type of attitude but, the reality is that until or unless Estranged Adults want something to change, there is going to be no attempt on their part and frankly, anything that parents try or attempt at this point, only adds to their arsenal. Attempting anything further at this point is akin to taking a can of gasoline and throwing it onto a fire. The more a parent does, the further away they push their adults. Please, please, please, unless you truly have reason to change yourself or you’ve caused issues and can see it in their words or situations, do NOT ever resort to attempting to be what they want you to be if they can even bother to tell you that much. Most estranged adults will give you vague answers like “you know” or “do the research”, “look deep within your heart”, “do the work”, “figure it out” or worse than anything, something along the lines of, “you don’t respect me”. There are a plethora of dilute responses that can and will be spewed out to you but in changing to what you think they want or even what they want at that time if they can spell it out for you, means that you’ll be changing down the road again and even then, they won’t be happy. It will all still be your fault. Not only that but, it could be turned against you with things like “well YOU let it happen” or “you’re so willing to please, what a sad, pathetic person you are” and right on down the line to something like, “you’re a liar” and “you’re faking it”. It never works so, why try it? They want to be away from you so, why bother any further?

That’s my CHILD and I am heart-broken over it all so, I’ll never give up on them or trying

All parents of estranged adults feel that way. It’s bred into us from the time that we either know that a child is due to taking care of them. It’s an instinct that humans have but, is it the right thing to do?

Do the want you to keep on trying? If you’ve been told to leave them alone or been blocked by them or are only receiving text or messages from them on holidays, you may have been told that they don’t WANT you to continue to try with them. In that case, continuing on, no matter what your feelings are, is only pushing them further away. STOP TRYING! Unless you know what it is that both you’ve allegedly done to them and can twist and turn yourself into a pretzel of untrue personality that will change according to their beliefs or you’ve done something to them and can change, you’re wasting not only your time and energy but, theirs as well. You’re trying them and your own patience. While it’s an urge, is it true and are you willing to continue on doing, doing, changing, giving, being fake or whatever you feel that you should be doing or they tell you to do? What if they do it again to you and estrange again (which commonly happens) are you going to try more, harder or become someone that you’re not to please them? Think again before you attempt it because it’s leading to a total game of chasing your tail because that’s what they are essentially doing to themselves or someone else.

My Ex has complete control over them because he/she can and they’ve downplayed me or someone else has done it. I hate my ex!

If you hate your ex, that’s a horse of a different colour. Dislike your ex and make it between the 2 of you. Take one look at an entire generation of adult children who are out at beaches over a holiday and how much they truly care about their parents or other family members. While brave words come out of their mouths and they’re guzzling drinks and food, playing games on the beaches of the southern world, stating that if it’s their time, it’s their time, who are they caring about really? Ask yourself that question. Now, do you really and truly think that they care about your ex or do they care more about money, gifts, things that can be bought or even your spouse’s dirt that they’ve spread falsely about you in order to get back at you? Don’t you believe that it’s possibly time for you and your ex to solve your issues between the 2 of you instead of using the adults as pawns in their hatred against you or vice-versa?

My grandchildren are being with held from me. I want to see my grands!

This idea deserves an entire piece about this topic but, the simple answer to this is that your estranged adult doesn’t want you to be part of their children’s lives? Why? Some of it is belief that whatever “damage” they’ve cooked up within their own minds or had someone else do for them, you’re going to do to their children too. After all, they are the greatest parents on the planet, right? They know best and you’re just “toxic” to everyone around you.

First of all, let’s say one thing here. Your estranged adult’s children are theirs to do with whatever they want. These kids are THEIR property and they are going to do with them whatever they feel works for them. The second thing is that in a lot of cases, these adults who have estranged, know full well that this idea is hurting you and that’s precisely what they want to do…hurt you. The more want that you show them to having your grandchildren in your life, the more that they’re going to see that as your weak spot and withdraw their children even more.

No matter what they want, are doing or believe, they are using their children as “pawns” in a game that they have concocted. Grandparents in most places on this planet, have NO rights but, let’s look at the idea that your grandchildren’s parents are showing them how to deal with situations…withdraw completely. If you don’t think that little minds are taking that in, you’d be wrong. They are and they do swallow it even if they hold it on tap. The first thing that they are going to attempt with your estranged adults if they aren’t getting what they want from them is sadly, estranging from those parents. It’s been taught. As long as your estranged adults are turning sommersaults and there’s a need for their parents to be involved in their lives, they are going to keep them on board. The moment though that these grands can’t get what they need or want out of their parents (your estranged adults), their parents are useless to them and therefore out of their lives too.

Can anyone control what their adults who have estranged think or feel or do? No. One can’t, not even if the parent twists themselves into a plasticine figure which can bend and twist as needed. Remember that YOUR self-esteem and mind will always know the reality behind it all and when you need something, no matter how “good” you think that you’re being, more often than not, you can forget getting help for you. They’re too stuck on themselves and their own reasons.

From my little corner of life to yours, be smart and recognize your limitations both as a person and as a parent. See the reality behind your now adult who has estranged and be honest with yourself about it all. That’s the wise way on dealing with this issue.

Be well, stay well,

Love and Light!

No One Is Invincible No Matter What Is Believed

What needs to be said about thinking yourselves invincible is below. Read on.

You are not invincible and the world is not your oyster.

There, it’s been said, loudly, plainly and without age, race, creed or religion added in. It’s also not a political statement or one that minces words.

If you think or feel that you’re somehow above getting a virus that has killed hundreds of thousands of people, don’t believe it to be worse than the seasonal flu, that you can’t get it or that 2 a.m. is the time to be out shooting off fireworks in spite of the time, you’ve got the wrong idea. By thinking that the world is your oyster and to hell with anyone else, you’ve got it wrong as well.

No one can say this bluntly without risking some sort of flack so, it is being said.

Yes, the world knows that you’re likely to miss out on a whole pile of things that other generations may have gotten to do and no, if you don’t watch or listen to the news or even read it, things aren’t going to go your way either. If you believe something, believe whatever you want if you don’t believe it, that’s fine too but, you know what? You have to follow rules and guess what? One day, you are going to be the one making those rules. Think that you’re going to do it differently than those who have implemented these and you’d also be wrong. Age, Life and The Universe will teach you a few things that will change how it is that you think right now. Don’t believe me? Wait. It’s coming. There are price tags and consequences to everything that one does or doesn’t do. There has to be pay back in one way or another at some point or many in your life. Nothing comes for free. Accept that and you’re half way there.

For some, saying that the pandemic isn’t real and ignoring social distancing or large crowds, you’re being foolish. Equally, you’re playing with other people’s lives and likely, even your own. Even those who think that if someone else doesn’t like the fact that there is ignorance and pure disregard out there and they see it happening, have to go to get groceries and medications or whatever at some point or another. Are those who have broken social laws going to stay away from those stores? No. That’s the point right there. If one also thinks that this is a technological world and therefore, pay them their fees to deliver and one never needs to leave their homes thus, keeping safe, think again, genius. A lot of households not only can’t afford those atrocious, gouging extra fees because they’ve living on no income or a fixed one or extremely small numbers like disability but, try getting a service that has a delivery or even pick up time slot available in under a month. Go ahead Einsteins, search engine that much and report back to us how to do it.

Still don’t care? Got a hole burning in your pocket with money from parents or others and feel that it’s your “right” to set off bangs from fireworks on a non-firework weekend? Guess what. Thanks to your thinking patterns, there are people with illness caused by reckless thinking and behaviours, trying hard to get some much needed sleep at 12, 1 and even 3 a.m.. There are people with babies who can’t sleep because you had to get out there and shoot off something you got or had or saved or whatever. Think about those who have dogs who are frightened of noises like this type of thing and are shivering and shaking, wanting to crawl into someone’s mouth to make it all stop.

Worse than all of that, is the idea of asking yourselves should doctors, nurses, healthcare workers, frontline workers that are deemed essential risk their lives for you should you need their help? If you answered an absolute “yes” to that, think again because the buzzer just sounded which indicated that you’re wrong.

No one owes anything to you. If you’re of age no matter what your colour, race, religion, political affiliations if you have any that is or gender ID is, believe that you’re supposed to be helped if you need it or think that you won’t need any help at any point because you have the latest cell phone and can therefore, know it all, the buzzer has sounded yet again with a rousing rendition of “you’re wrong”. When you are scared or sick or have a child who is crying at midnight or 3 a.m. because some jerks have more money than brains, you may find yourselves behind rather dark times because there are no services out there to save you.

From my little corner of life to yours, if you think that you know it all and go against the rules, by-laws and have no consideration for other people on this planet because you feel that you have the world by the tail or have enough breath left in you to be able to protest in some fashion or another or do whatever it is that you wish to do, don’t be surprised if someone refuses to help you when you need the most help. If you do get that help, be thankful, respectful and thoughtful of other people. Laws, rules, requests etc. are a polite way of asking you to stop doing things for a reason. One day, they are going to protect you too in one way or another.

If you don’t believe this piece, then wait another dozen or more years and see how you feel about these words then. By the way, if you don’t believe that there will ever come a time when you’re going to need more than a search engined form of help, think again next time your wifi goes down or data runs out or the search engines are all filled with complete garbage, meant to sell you something and don’t bother to estrange from your parents or others either. You don’t have the intellectual ability to think properly.

To everyone, be well, stay well.

Love and Light!

Estrangement, Time To Think & Less Got Done During A Pandemic

To demonstrate that people tend to do more thinking than work during a pandemic
Thinking nets some ideas and realizations

Being in the middle of a global pandemic gives us all time. Actually, it gives us all loads of time to think. Perhaps, it’s too much time to think. In spite of having the best of intentions of doing things around the house, like cleaning or tossing or whatever, we come to realize 2 things. The first is that we have no where to put the things that we wanted to get rid of and no one was going to come and get it and secondly, we recognized rather quickly that if we didn’t have something already within our grasps, we weren’t about to get them now, even if we ordered them online and could afford it. Some things, we couldn’t even get no matter how we tried.

I did come to realize a few things though

  1. It became obvious that doing good wasn’t any measure of how you, yourself would be thought of or treated
  2. Doing things the “right way” according to everyone else’s thoughts and therefore, your own, only leads to more being used
  3. When you absolutely can’t do anything more for someone, they’re mad at you, don’t know why they are and will cook up stories about you within themselves
  4. People will come to believe about you whatever the heck they want to believe to suit their own purposes whether they are right or not and treat you according to those beliefs
  5. No matter how much you do for others and they’ve profited by it in some way or another, you’re not going to be included or wanted around anymore than what they did before
  6. One can consider themselves “blessed” if they have a lot of people around them but, at what price are those people around us? Have we paid in some way for these people to be around us? Was it worth it? Where are they now?
  7. People can be as wonderful or right or do whatever someone else wants in order to please them but, when that stops, their care about you stops too
  8. We can all serve purposes in other people’s lives but, when we’ve outlived that purpose, they’re not going to chase us or want us around or even care
  9. Once others get what they wanted from you and have something else on the burner, cooking…they’re not interested in you any longer. It doesn’t matter how many back flips you’ve done for them, they have moved onto other things that seem more important to them at that time
  10. Once someone realizes that they need something, they may be back at your door or on the phone or touching base with you again. Do you really want them around?
  11. If you’re not included in the good times, that’s a sure sign that you’re not wanted. It’s more about what you can do for them that they’re interested in. Give up.
  12. Live, Love and Laugh because this isn’t a dress rehearsal for your life. This is it. Let others realize that you’re not their doormats upon which to wipe their feet on a muddy or snowy day. You’re a real person with feelings too and there’s only so much that you’re going to take and put up with before you also walk off into the sunset.
  13. When you believe that someone is coming around to seeing things your way, there are a couple of questions that you should ask yourself such as, a) is this temporary to get what they want and they’re going to be gone again b) am I being used as a stepping stone or doormat again and possibly the biggest question that needs answering is, c) do I really want to get back into being used again no matter what they say? (There is always that possibility and even a likelihood that it’s happening that way)
  14. No one, and I mean NO ONE is “busy” 24/7. While someone may say something like “I know it’s been 3 months since I called you last or came by to see you or we went out for dinner, I was “busy”. The old “I have been SO busy lately” can be understood once, maybe twice if you are certain that they are indeed that busy or they’ve been on vacation or not sick however, once that time frame is over, they cannot be that “busy” that they can’t take 2 minutes to call or see you or even text you to say that they are busy. That goes double for when there’s a holiday of some kind. If they cannot think of you at those points and call you at bare minimum, you’re really not that important to them at that time frame
  15. When someone only calls or texts you at odd times and they get into problems, they are usually telling you that they don’t want anything to do with you other than what you can do for them. Take that as a sign of who they are and your relationship with them as well as why it happens this way

There’s more

You are a person too and so am I. We have or should have the that we have feelings too, as others do and, we can then realize that we haven’t been put on this earth solely to serve others nor, need we do it unless they are paying us to do these types of things. We are therefore, as human as they are so, when someone is only around because of what we can or will do for them, they are the ones who need the realization that we need to have lives and not be so “helpful”. We are being used.

Being a parent doesn’t mean that we forever owe our “kids”

Adults who are unhappy in their lives, are often searching for ways to blame someone for their own bad or poor choices. If they are genetically predisposed to an ailment, blaming genetics could be some place to put that blame however, to place it upon a parent or parents isn’t ok.

If your parent doesn’t like your spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend or others in your life like friends, take it that they simply don’t like them. There’s often a reason and that is as good as your reasoning for liking that person. Was that taken into consideration or was that person more important than your own parent(s)? Is what parents can do for their adult kids more important than the parent? If a child even though they are adults now, are only around a parent for what they can get or to get back at another parent or keeping their kids from grandparents, there’s a signal that the adult is only around for what they can get. What’s that saying about that child turned adult?

It’s an age old story that people have given off or out when they are unhappy with something or themselves in this life that they didn’t ask to be born. To the best of our knowledge as human beings on this planet, no one here asked to be born. I know that I didn’t ask nor, did my parents or theirs or theirs and on down the line. No one living asked. While a parent or parents have the onus to give their children the necessities of Life, they are not obliged to do so beyond the age at which a child can do most things for themselves. At the age of 16 to 18 years of age, unless there’s a mental disability, parents do not owe their offspring anything further. They certainly don’t owe them weddings, cars, cell phones, tablets, computers or anything else that can be thought of by these now adults. When they blame the parents or place blame upon them and try to spin the wheel by saying things like, “you’re to blame”, “you’re toxic to me” or “you owe me”, it can be said that this now adult person is not taking responsibility for themselves or their own lives, mistakes or choices.

People aren’t all toxic so, why put that on someone’s forehead?

Nothing irks me more than hearing someone else tell someone that they’re “toxic”. To that, I have to ask myself and even them if they’re not considering themselves to be “toxic” to themselves?

Seriously, when they’ve come up with all sorts of reasons why they’d consider someone else as “toxic” that’s usually code for, “I hate my life as it is and it will be so much better if I don’t have (fill in the blanks) as part of it”.

In part, that may be true. Not because their lives are instantly going to improve if you or someone else were to be out of them but, it’s tell-tale that the person doing the labelling of being “toxic” is likely one of convenience rather than taking responsibility for themselves or their own lives.

What’s certain is that there are going to be plenty of people in and out of our lives who aren’t going to make our lives somehow instantly better. There are going to be difficult people who are in and out of our lives, not the least of which may include bosses, friends and what doesn’t get realized often enough, are those who are around the most, such as kids, husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends, wives etc.. It’s all convenient to blame someone else rather than say to ourselves, “yup, that person isn’t the way that I’d prefer them to be but, I care so, I will put up with them”…unless of course, that person is a boss in which case, they will be put up with in order to keep their jobs and have what they want in life. It’s far easier for them to oust relatives from their lives by calling them or considering them as “toxic” than to figure out what may be going on within themselves or their own lives? How many others has that person gotten rid of or exited their lives?

I’m a narcissist, you’re a narcissist, wouldn’t you like to be a narcissist too?

Pathetically, those who slap that label on someone else’s foreheads without a professional diagnosis wrought by proper testings, may be the most narcissistic of all and not even realize that they are being that way.

Hearing that term makes many wonder if those who are walking around, calling others narcissistic even know more than what they’ve read on the net? It’s a broadly overused term with which to lay blame or unhappiness onto others who don’t deserve to be called that label.

If being a narcissist is relevant to anyone, it belongs to everyone on this planet in one way or another. After all, how many of us want to be alive? How many of us aren’t thinking of ourselves when we’re in trouble? Doesn’t it make sense that any time someone stands back and doesn’t get involved in something, they are thinking of self? Does that not mean that every single living being on this planet isn’t a bit narcissistic then and I could go on and on and on with examples but, I think that if one were to think about it hard enough, one would realize that everyone is narcissistic even those running around, slapping the narcissist’s label on other’s foreheads.

From my little corner of life to yours, there have been weeks and even months whereby a lot of other things could have been done but, weren’t. However, thinking too much as become abundant instead. With thinking though, comes some realizations. They aren’t wrong as much as they are whatever one feels and thinks. This is especially true of those who have had so much from others.

On that note, I hope all is well with you and that you’re staying well.

Be well,

Love and Light!

Writing Not Selling Anything

People tend to have the assumption that I somehow magically incur financial support by doing YouTube videos or writing this blog. I don’t. I mean, I do get some money from YouTube ads accrued but, I don’t actually get more than $10.00 per month. I get nothing from this blog. Zero!

I don’t know about you but, I don’t think that I could afford a coffee per day on $10.00 per month. If anyone can figure that out, please let me know. I’d love to be able to do it. I certainly can’t live off of this amount nor, do I live in anything that even remotely resembles a mansion. Some people’s apartments are larger than my entire small, post war built home and, no…I didn’t buy the house then so, that can be taken off of the table or your idea pad if you have one. I say that with a chuckle not in seriousness but, if you have one, don’t write it down because you’d be false in imagining that much.

There are a few people who read this blog which I make nothing on and pay more for a separate domain name for having it for ease than I care to think about and watch YouTube videos or comment on my Facebook wall on estrangement issues. By the way, paying for a separate domain name on this blog is going out the window as I can no longer afford it any longer but, yes I will be still writing on it if they allow me to do so. What’s even more baffling is that less than that my YouTube videos don’t even bring in enough income to cover the costs of the domain name. Frankly, it’s getting more and more frustrating to write pieces so that I differ the content from place to place only to have a few to write for. Thank you to those who have followed this blog by the way!

I’ve attempted to sell no one anything, have I? I do suppose that it makes me a rather stupid business person but, I’m not out to set up a business. I’m here only to help if I can in one way or another. Knowing that the bulk of my readers are younger in age than what I am dealing with in YouTube, I try to vary the content and throw in what is better suited to what I am thinking or feeling in a day or whenever I do feel the need to write about it.

If someone doesn’t like my ideas which even I will change slightly as time and experiences dictate, they are always free to read something else that I’ve written over the past 8 years or so and those who don’t agree or aren’t in the situations that I am or want to believe themselves instead or something else that they’ve read, are always free to read someone else’s writings or to click off until I’ve said something that they will agree with. It’s ok. I make nothing from any of it.

What I do have issue with though, are those who believe that there’s “nothings” because their adult children have walked off on them. I think that this topic deserves an entire piece or a video on it but, suffice it to say that we are people.

From my little corner of life to yours, I will say things that you may not agree with but, if that something sparks an idea of your own, within you and it works for you, I’m happy. That’s what I write for after all.

Be well, stay well!

Love and Light!

With Covid-19 There Are No Such Things As Freedom & Rights

These morons need to re-think their stance or with their “FREEDOM” be left alone if they get ill. Covid-19 doesn’t discriminate on age. It will take its target and everyone else can scream that it’s their freedom which has been breached by these shallow or shoddy thinking morons.

We’ve all seen those who will scream it from the rooftops that it’s their “right” to do as they please because it’s their “life”. There have been so many people who are bored with not being able to do things as usual that they’ve taken to the streets as well as other sources with which to say that they have “rights” and should have their “freedom” to do as they want. Worse than that, they say something as stupid and foolhardy as just stay in to those who don’t want this potentially deadly virus.

How many people have watched people recount their horrible experiences with this virus? While many have or are recovering, people have died, trying to fight it off. What’s even sadder is to watch those who previously had a differing opinion on the entire thing, feeling that after this amount of time, things should be or go back to near, if not total normalcy. Delusional or what?

Even if a person who cried out for their “rights” were to live totally alone and everyone stayed indoors who didn’t want to get it, the point remains that when someone is ill with this nasty coronavirus, they’re ill. They need other people to help them out. At worst, may be medical professionals who have to be exposed to these non-thinking, brainless twits who hadn’t thought past the idea that they didn’t get to see a sporting event or some concert or sit in a restaurant.

It’s plain to see the sheer numbers of people who have written on social media, articles and even talking heads on news programs or politicians who break rules by the dozens, feel that they should be able to do as they want even if it cannot be done in the ways that they’re used to being able to do things.

It’s fine for those who want their “rights” to scream out about having them but, did they take into account that not only while doing so, they are not only putting themselves in danger but, anyone who has to care for them should they get Covid-19 or perhaps, the fact that while coming in contact with so many other people (mask or not) even if asymptomatic themselves, they could pass on this virus to other people? Worse to best case scenario, that person can pass it onto someone else who dies from it or becomes quarantined because they have come in contact with someone who has it. Does that matter at all?

Actually, it doesn’t matter as much as you’d hope it would matter to these types of people. Why? Because they believe that they are right and everyone else is wrong, including epidemiologists, virologists, doctors, nurses and even police officers or the local cashier where they get their gourmet eats with beer budgets instead of champagne finances.

What has often been found is that those who want their so-called “rights” are the first ones to scream down walls when they are ill with this virus. They want a national parade in their sights so that they’re not bored. Worse than that, they will rant and rave over not getting doctors or nurses or paramedics to pay attention to them the way that they want it done. After all, they have “rights” and they know them. They seem to feel that they know everything and no one else knows as much as they do. Do they have something coming to them or what?

NEWS FLASH…they don’t know it all, nor do their “gods” who are nothing but brilliant marketing conspiracy theorists whose books or interviews line these whiner’s book shelves.

If someone doesn’t believe that this virus is real, I will dare them to put themselves onto the front lines and give people who would dearly love to be away from the danger, in their places. How about it, Bravehearts? How about putting yourself and your life in danger while putting yourself onto the front lines and in danger so that those who are in great jeopardy can take the time off to sleep a peaceful sleep? Any takers from this group of moronic thinkers who believe that they are right and everyone else is wrong? Show your stuff. Nevermind the armies or others, you do it. You’re not afraid of it, are you or is your only aim to be able to attend a sporting event, concert, go shopping or having a favoured restaurant or store available to you?

There is no such thing as “rights” when it comes to this threatening virus. It doesn’t understand your wants or beliefs or those of conspiracy theorists. It only understands the word, “attack”. It doesn’t discriminate either. There are no races, creeds, cultures or even ages in which it won’t attach itself.

For those geniuses who believe that they are young and healthy…guess again. You could find yourselves bed ridden or in a medically induced coma, by yourself in a hospital with delirium, with some poor nurse, doctor, technician or whatever is required, ventilated. You’re also going to have to go home with someone who you could infect or who will become quarantined for at least 14 days because you had your rights granted to you. Was it worth it?

From my little corner of life to yours, if you still think that this is all hyped or faked or false or something that happens with the flu, again, I dare you to volunteer your time so that those who are in true danger can get some sleep, let their faces heal from masks so air tight that their skin crinkles, creases and gains a rash. Still think you’re right and everyone is over reacting to this? Keep going, keep telling others to stay indoors so that you can go out and see how far you get with walking around your street because that’s as far as you’re going to get without taking a chance of infecting others.

To everyone else who is earnestly trying, stay well,

Love and Light!

Estrangement Reasons: Are You Giving Your Kids Too Much

Think that this looks wonderfully right? Read on

If mothers didn’t exist, there wouldn’t be any one of us on this planet. Did anyone get that point?

If fathers didn’t exist, there could be as many women in the world as one wanted but, without sperm there would be no human life.

How grateful is one for the idea that all mothers aren’t worthy of being here then? What about fathers?

Are you ungrateful of having life? is there something wrong with you having a breath to take, your heart beating or the ability to think even if it is warped, high or otherwise?

Do you believe that all parents are out to hurt you because it’s fun or to make you do things that you may not want to do?

I hated having to go to bed at a certain time but, I was told to do so. What would this world be or come to if every parent simply let their children make up their own bed times? Wouldn’t one be calling their parent or parents “bad parents” no matter what was done or not done with them by their parents?

I didn’t want to clean or go to school or do things that normal kids are doing or have to do and yet, if I didn’t do those things, I was scolded. Should I have been let to do whatever I wanted to do and my mother and father left to do as they wanted to do?

What would have been said by each child or adult if that were to have been the case?

Well, I could tell you one thing. I would have gone to bed and gotten up whenever I felt like it. I may have fallen asleep during classes and not done any homework. The house would have fallen apart because my parents wouldn’t have done laundry or cleaning, the grass would have grown until city by-laws sent us messages about what may be lurking in that grass and frankly, I wouldn’t have eaten more than peanut butter on a slice of bread for 3 meals a day or until it ran out because my parents wouldn’t have done the shopping for food. Oh yes, they may have done as they pleased, skipped the dishes and prep work as well as the clean-up from meals but, then again, they wouldn’t have wanted to have worked either so, there would be no money coming in for restaurants or groceries or cars or anything else that I wanted or them.

If a parent tries to get a child, especially a grown child, out and with others because all that they did was sit around the house, they’re considered “bad parents” as the kids, adults or not, would have continued watching tv or playing video games. When they couldn’t function in the world because they had no skills with which to get jobs, work wasn’t provided for them by parents, or whatever the case may have been, they were considered to be “bad parents”, toxic, narcissistic or “owing”.

Personally, while I’ve long since seen those who have had it all, calling parents “bad” because parents didn’t do as they wanted them to do or when, I have to laugh over those who will tell other parents “yeah, you OWE us. We didn’t ask to be born and you took away our rights”. That has always given me quite the chuckle. Why?

Let’s take a look at Susie and Johnny who got together because they felt like misfits and stayed together, blaming parents for everything that they don’t like about their lives.

Now, let’s also look at their parents who provided everything that both of them wanted other than each other while having troubles in their own lives and being unhappy with things as they are. While everyone has their issues to deal with in Life, Johnny and Susie only had themselves to cope with and their own wants and issues. Parents be damned and blamed. I heard one of them utter (amongst many other complaints) that “all grey hairs” were stupid.

However Johnny and Susie live or wish to live, it requires work and working. Even if Johnny is provided with a job by his parents and, was made to do things that Johnny grumbled about having to do, or as ordered by his parent(s), the point is that Johnny has been provided with a job by his parent(s) and a way with which to live the life that he wanted.

Susie wasn’t provided with a job as her family didn’t have one to offer her however, they did pay for her to go to a university and get a degree, along with help, support and whatever else that her parents could provide, including a car for her to use.

Neither Susie nor, Johnny were happy though with either set of parents because their parents weren’t exactly the way that either of them wanted their parents to be.

If we were to take a giant step back in time though, we’d be able to see that both Johnny and Susie were provided for by their parents way past the ages at which a lot of parents would have told them to get a job and move out and onwards. Their parents did provide for them though until Johnny and Susie met.

Neither of them were capable of being normal people with normal lives though they thought that smoking and doing other drugs was the way. Someone had to pay for it though. That had to be Johnny and Susie. In spite of Johnny having been given several jobs within the parent(s) business to keep him in work, Johnny managed to grumble and so did Susie moan and groan, gripe and complain about not having what she wanted from her parents either.

Enter the idea that had neither set of parents given a damn past the time that they were both 16 years of the age of being able to leave, both of them would have nothing. It was their parents who allowed Johnny and Susie to have what they have.

Also part of the thought was that were either set of parents to have NOT done everything that they could, both Johnny and Susie wouldn’t have been able to be alive, let alone, be together. Both sets of parents had done more than enough for these now adults.

What if they hadn’t have done as they did? What then?

It’s far too convenient for both Johnny and Susie to blame parents for not being as they wanted them to be. What if their parents hadn’t done as Johnny and Susie wanted all along?

You’d have guessed right. Johnny and Susie would have been blaming their parents for not being parents to them even though they were past the age of 16 years of age. Had either set of parents not provided what they have and had given to Johnny or Susie and gone on with their own lives, or even divorces, Johnny and Susie would be up the creek without paddles.

Would they have met at all?

Likely not. The reason is as visible and plain as the nose on your face (hopefully, you have one that is as this is just an expression to have used). They would have blamed their parents for not doing enough as they were and are doing right now.

You see, there is no way to have pleased either one of them. Parents were damned if they did and damned if they didn’t. It’s as simple as it gets.

The real problem is that both sets of parents tried to give both Johnny and Susie whatever it was that they wanted in one way or another and within reason. The parents did however, manage to give both of these now adults, whatever they could give in whatever ways.

Today, Johnny and Susie aren’t speaking to 3 of their 4 parents. Why? Because the parents aren’t following what Johnny or Susie wanted them to do or be for them and frankly, Johnny and Susie have worked up reasons why they shouldn’t bother with 3 of the 4 parents. Johnny will eventually be without the 1 parent he is barely speaking to and who provides his job. He’s ticked off everyone else around him and everyone involved in his life for the most part. Those who are or were closest to him, he can work up a way to grumble about them. Susie concurs with Johnny because she, herself, can’t think on her own or thinks that Johnny is right. In actuality, he’s nothing but a “Jimmy Jones” type cult leader who uses drugs instead of cyanide laced Koolaid as was done in “Jones Town”.

What makes this all worse than anything else is that Jimmy Jones there or Johnny, truly believes that he’s a deep thinker while being stoned or high 95% of the time or better. Five percent of that time, he’s asleep, wrappers from chocolate and half drank glasses of stuff around him while both he and Susie take turns, sleeping on a couch.

Sadly, Susie thinks that Jimmy Jones or Johnny there is right and cannot be wrong in spite of neither of them having more than co-workers (Johnny less than Susie) as “friends” or those on Social Media. What’s ironic is that Johnny has few friends if any and Susie has dropped everyone from her past because of her beliefs and Johnny’s incessant ramblings, mumblings and groans. Susie can only see herself with him. Not parents. She’s effectively been led to estrange herself from everyone that she ever has known so that Jimmy Jones there or Johnny has control over her and her mind. If that doesn’t work, he’ll ply her some other way and she will fall for it.

From my little corner of life to yours, it’s not Johnny or Susie’s parent’s faults that these 2 are as they are. It’s Johnny and Susie’s ball to play with and drop on each other. Sooner or later, all that they will have is themselves to look at as parents die off and without them as part of the picture because no one in the family will put up with it all or even tell them.

Be glad that we’re alive. No one ever has asked to be born and while parents owed us to raise us to a certain age, they only owed us the necessities of life for that period of time. Everything else was simply icing on a cake and a cherry on top of it.

Think about it and what you’re doing for and with your children, adults or not. Are you giving them far too much or what they want, hoping that it will buy you loyalty by them? Ok, go ahead and do so while hoping that it works and you’re not part of the estranged from parents. Don’t think it could happen to you? Think again.

Best wishes!

Love and Light!

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