Many of us know about professional sports players making craploads of money, having agents, getting the highest dollars possible and so much more. A lot of us also know that their boatloads of money being made are coming out of fan’s pockets and that owners make a killing for most teams during a non-pandemic year. Twenty-twenty doesn’t happen to be one of those but, it’s highly likely that what they’ve made the rest of the years, more than makes up for what they’ve lost this year.
Now, compare this to first responders and even cashiers who are paid crud yet, risk their lives on a daily basis. How do I know? I have a family member who is a healthcare provider and puts her life on the line every single day to save people. I have another one who works in a store where people of all types come in on a regular basis and they never know if someone has this pandemic virus or not. In other words, they are both, putting not only their lives on the line daily for our sakes but, they are paid sh*t by comparison to professional sports team members. Even the lowest of paid professional sports members make double to triple what these people make. Why? Could it be that we’ll all pay these guys to play the games as entertainment? The answer to that is a resounding “yes”.
People have gripes about everything from soup to nuts but, generally, their protests etc., don’t get in the way of their jobs. They all need money and they do their protesting on their times off. This is especially true of those who are paid the big bucks to play a game. Yes, you heard me correctly. They are playing a game. They’re not brain surgeons or astrophysicists.
Honestly, I get physically sick to my stomach in seeing overpaid sports team members “boycotting” games as a statement for their cause. Play the damned game, will ya? Either that or get off of the courts/fields, off of your knees during starts to the games or national anthems and protest or do whatever you want on your off season during a pandemic. Hell, you’ve been paid enough to do it and frankly, it’s now old to know that you’re paid so much to boycott a game or get down on one knee. Play or get out of the way! There are people out there who would willingly change spots with you and do it for half of the cost or less. You’re not unique but, you’re getting far more than those who do other things so that your lives can come to this sort of childish behaviour.
While I am somewhat of a sport’s fan for certain sports, the reality is that I am not about to pay professional sports players the big bucks to boycott games nor kneel down on one knee. Either sh*t or get off of the pot so to speak. Play the game properly or go protest until your heart’s content without pay. There are plenty of times when you can protest in off seasons.
From my little corner of life to yours, I see so many people, including cashiers, nurses and doctors, paid so little by comparison to those who play professional sports, risking their lives on a regular schedule and here these sport’s players are, taking the money and doing this crap?
My thoughts…either play or quit the game circuit altogether and protest right now until you can’t take anymore of it. Go ahead but, it’s said by many now that enough is enough. Either play the games that you’re paid to play or quit and protest without the money behind it all. Your status is not that important to most. You’re simply another jock with a stick, puck or ball in your hands or chasing after one. You’re not all that important to a lot of people or at the least, not as important as you think that you may be. Protest on your own time. No one cares if they’re not paying you. Bring up the numbers. Covid-19 numbers but, do so without pay.
***Please note that this is NOT a political statement or piece in any way. If you are going to vote for Trump, it’s your business. This is a piece about Melania Trump as a person and why I feel as I do ONLY****
It’s hard to feel sorry as I once did for Melania Trump. I felt sorry for her because she appeared to be a “beaten woman” who was bullied by Trump and his cronies. With Barron (her son) I felt as though Trump may have been blackmailing her into staying on as First Lady and why it may have been that she showed what was thought to be a grimace during Trump’s inaugural indoctrination. I was wrong.
Melania, as one already knows (I won’t get into her history here as everyone has found out) is in my estimation only, nothing but a Gold Digger who found the fountain of billions of dollars within the Trump world.
Her seeming slights, and facial expressions are nothing except someone who truly knows which side of the bread her husband *cough, cough* has buttered it and she’s aiming to keep it that way. She is not beaten nor is she downtrodden. She knows exactly what she is doing and why and she’s showing it full force by her dedication to Donny’s re-election perhaps, later this year.
Sleeping in different quarters and rooms, beds and even floors or wings of the White House is showing that Melania has lofty ambitions with money at her disposal. She’s not naive. She knows full well of her husband’s many infidelities and chooses to be the world’s laughing stock because there’s money involved for her and her son Barron.
Why is it that I’m saying “her son”? That’s because she dotes on that man-child and her husband, Don, never wanted him in the first place. She did and she had him.
She has her own floor in Trump Towers, as does her son and her husband. They all have their own floors and bedrooms. She comes like a faithful dog when called upon so that she keeps that money that she’s become accustomed to, flowing.
Is she stupid or foolish? Perhaps, as I wouldn’t want to be married to such a man but, her defence of him shows that she’s in it for his wealth and whatever it is that she wants or needs out of him. He knows it too. It’s not a secret to them or anyone else for that matter. As there was “Hush Money” spent on many women this man has had an affair with, there’s money for her to keep her silence and back him. While I used to feel sorry for her, I no longer do.
Calling Camp David and the White House “dumps” Is about both of their speeds. Her unwillingness and dread of moving into the WH means that Melania (no matter what she’s said as an excuse) didn’t want to be part of the WH and loved it better at TT’s. I have no empathy or sympathy for such a person or her wealth.
What can the world expect from this couple going forward, elected or not? It’s extremely hard to say but, my bet is that once Donny’s use for Melania is done and if there wasn’t a prenup signed, Melania will find herself someone new (if she hasn’t already done so) and be gone. For certain, once her son is of age to be on his own and completely away from her, she will leave for someone else. Likely, it will be for someone who has money. After all, that’s how she rolls and her lifestyle needs no changes or few. Getting rid of Trump will be change enough. It will happen at some point. Keep that in the back of your mind.
From my little corner of life, while I will not say what I think of Trump outright as this was not meant as a political piece in any way, I am willing to say that Melania has goals and trust me, she’s going to use them. While some may still have a soft spot for her, I don’t. As a matter of fact, I think that she needs to take her husband’s ramblings and perhaps, see him through this second term if he’s re-elected then, inject herself with some disinfectant. I say that with a tongue in cheek sarcastic laugh but, it’s not at all meant with realism. She’s a piece of work who needs no sympathy or empathy whatsoever. If you make a bed, you have to lay in it. She’s made hers.
Once you’ve lost “purpose” for someone or can’t do anything about their situation, you’ve often lost that person no matter how close you feel that you were. Often times, that feeling of “closeness” was not truly to be but, rather your own imagination as to how useful you were to them.
If someone has always expected you to be there for them in times of trouble and you have to say, “can’t do it for you”, they will hang around, hoping for the next thing that they think you can or should help them out with. Say “no…can’t do it” again and you’re going to find yourself less “close” to them. If you were to stop doing, doing, doing altogether or not giving out advice or whatever it is that they’ve become dependent upon you for, watch how quickly you’ll find out that you really may not have been close at all.
If you don’t believe me, try backing off in your own ways of course, from others and see where you’re at with them. You may be surprised to find out that you’re really nowhere near where it is that you thought you should be or were. It was what you COULD do for them that had them around you. It wasn’t for you necessarily.
Yes, we are all “Takers” in some fashion or another however, when you’ve found your phone barely ringing or doorbell not going or others aren’t seemingly caring about you, then you will know for certain that others have been “taking” from you in one way or another.
It’s clear that we’ve all come to some odd times in 2020 with Covid. Believe it or not, it has no brain and if it finds a host that will accept it, it’s going in. However, that’s not likely the case with others and if you’re relying upon someone without a brain too, my question would have to be “why?”
Again, if this written piece seems far out of field to you, find out who your true friends or where loyalties lay by telling those around you that you can’t do something for them and see where that lands you. If you’re unsure, try it again. It won’t hurt them because they’ll simply find someone who will do it for them. If you realize that they’re not around much, try even harder to stop doing for them. Chances are that they are only around you for what you can do and not you. Suspecting that this may be the case is grounds for you to test them further. Giving the wrong reasons such as “I’m too sick” or “my pet just died” isn’t going to cut the mustard. One has to say something like, “I can’t help you,” nicely of course and leave it there without explanation. Giving them explanations such as “I’m sick” or “I threw out my back” or something like that, only leads them to believe that when you’re well again, you’ll be back to doing for them and them sticking around for when you can do something for them again. Don’t give time frames. Simply say something like, “I can’t do it,” and leave it there.
Habitually being there for someone when they need something done for them or with them is harder to break. Not only have you become accustomed to having them around you and perhaps, you will feel the need to keep them there by doing for them but, they’ve also grown used to having you as their back-up or go-to person for whatever it is that they want or want done.
A lot of estrangements of adult children have taken place because the adult child now no longer needs you as they once did. Many of them are or do have others in their lives who will fill your shoes in one way or another. A lot of them don’t even realize that this is the case but, they will also blame parents or a parent for their own foibles or mental health issues on parents because they’re easy targets and always have been. When a parent can’t do anything more for them for differing reasons, they often find that their child will make them into monsters or other kinds of things that they need to stay away from being around. If they don’t do it, someone else will figure out how to gain control over them and oust you as a parent. A lot of the times, this person who also has mental health issues, will blame it upon their parent(s) and you. One way or another, your now adult child will find ways or excuses with which to estrange from you. Usually, it will be because you’ve said “no” to them or someone else that they rely upon for money, addictions or plain and simply because they want it. In other words, set up boundaries with or for them and they’re gone, don’t set up boundaries and they’re still gone to chase their tails. They don’t like boundaries or any kind. Start! Actually, you may be helping them by stopping.
I’ve always made it look easy to give out money for instance to a family member. I’ve never complained when giving it out to them. Doing so often meant that I’d have to go to the bank and cash in whatever little I had to give to help them out. However, there came a point at which I could no longer do what I had once done. Why? It came out of simply having no money left to give this person and it wasn’t a struggle. There was no more money left to give out. That ensued into a “you’re horrible” or “you don’t want to help me…woes me” type of scenario. Not only that but, I ended up being in trouble big time and in spite of all of the help that I’d given out to them financially, they took the money and ran, making me out to be some type of scary, sneaky monster who they don’t wish to talk to and leaving me in a total shambles with no money with which to do anything. That was my fault. I’ll admit it. Had I said “no, can’t do it” sooner and made it seem as it truly was, a fight to give them financial help, they only would have done this sooner.
Since that person and family have stopped talking to me, I’ve found not only do I have problems galore but, that they all have washed their hands of calling me. Sadly, the house has gone, our electronics have been taken away and no money to purchase more than a computer which was used, our only vehicle has gone and we’ve needed money to purchase another used one which is being paid for off of credit given by the dealer, our cat has died leaving us with huge vet bills, sewers have backed up into our basement due to broken sewers and money was needed to repair that while more things were tossed due to raw sewage, a huge neighbour’s tree fell into our backyard, crushing 2 fences which we have to replace lest our insurance company drop us and we can’t get other insurance, the pandemic hit and we’ve been stuck with no money. The list goes on and on but, suffice it to say that these people’s only concerns were of the family (in-laws) that live around them and talking to and helping them out as well as their now nearly grown children and gifts which we can’t afford.
I remember saying to one family member that a box of elastic bands may have seemed insignificant to some people but, those things meant a lot for whatever their reasons to the person who owned the boxes of them. Whether they rotted and were unusable or whether they were used, doesn’t matter. It was this person’s box of elastic bands. It wasn’t anyone else’s business what he did or didn’t do with them. Two and two don’t equal 5 even if that person can work it up to be in their own minds.
This is where estrangement from parents comes into play. Does it really matter if a parent or parents had to work 3 jobs to give their adults everything that they could give to them? As long as the parent made it appear “easy” to give, the adult didn’t value it all or what the parent(s) had to go through in order to give it to them. They only cared for as long as they could get something but, if the parent(s) had to stop giving it to them or even if they were still giving it to them, once they found a way to give to themselves, they blamed the parent(s) or walked away if that’s what they were going to do.
Yes, a lot of what I’m describing comes from a mental health issue or addiction of some kind. While many would love to blame the parent(s) or you for their issues, it isn’t necessarily so.
The question of, “what did you do” to cause it, doesn’t necessarily apply, nor do the terms toxic, narcissist, NPD, or whatever else they can come up with. In most cases there was no real abuse (even if they can work it up to that within their scripts or minds), nor is there any neglect. If that were to have been true, then why is it that some adult children will stay with even abusive parents and never estrange while others will walk off for crazy reasons? Does it make any sense to you? Are the ones who have estranged themselves calling those who don’t, insane? What’s that saying about the ones who do walk off into the proverbial sunset? It’s saying simply that they can so they do and frankly, there’s something wrong with them for doing so.
Don’t get me wrong. If TRUE and I mean TRUE abuse has taken place and having worked in schools as not a teacher, I’ve seen my fair share of it let me tell you, they have reason to walk out and away. It’s the way that save themselves further damage. I do get it but, that’s NOT what we are talking about here.
For those who believe that walking away is the way to handle things, think again. It’s not. It only causes more issues for you and others. Think about that the next time that you want to run away. It’s not helpful. It’s only harming you in ways that you may only be able to see down the road.
From my little corner of life to yours, be aware that if you’re doing, giving and never kicking up a fuss or keeping others in mind and what they may want or feel, try stopping it now. Try halting the gravy train slowly but surely and see who is left standing at the end. You may find that no one is left or few people are still there. That’s because they loved what you could do for them vs liking or loving you.
There’s no talk of estrangement here but, if you can correlate it to it, please do so and let us know how to do it.
It seems quite infantile for grown people to be acting like children with one ring-leader doesn’t it? Of course, that isn’t to say that the “adults” (excuse me while I cough at that word) haven’t got a mind of their own but, rather that someone has a bigger mouth than their own minds.
Take neighbours Marla and Peter for instance.
Marla walks around with the phone to her ear or texting almost on an hourly basis. Meanwhile, Peter’s mind has gone wild with both incorrect information which he’s fed to Marla and let’s say that Marla has her own agenda because she’s angry over something or other. What Peter had to tell Marla from his own mind, being so far from the truth that it’s unbelievable, fed Marla’s fire. Onto the phone where everyone and everyone could hear her “story” of woes and tall tales.
Marla is strong with how she explains things and being extremely convincing, Marla spread words that were false like they were weeds.
What Peter didn’t take into account in Marla’s zest to get more and more stories to add to her arsenal was that other neighbours, did indeed say hello to him from their car but, he didn’t see them nor hear them when they said hello in the dark. Winter being cold and icy, neighbours weren’t going to wait around for Peter to look up to see them or stop the machine he had going and was focused on. In other words, it’s not like other neighbours were going to hang around outside like a summer’s night, waiting to simply say hello to someone who was completely wrapped up in his mission. These neighbours had given up and were going indoors where it was warmer by far. Peter and Marla could barely raise their heads during the summer to look at the neighbours as they bounced from the vehicle that they drove in to the door. Why should the neighbours therefore, expend anymore time or energy on Peter seeing them wave to him during cold, frigid temps?
Marla, however, already fired up because neighbours had kept their words on “not bothering” her during a time in her life that they had had many times over already but, telling her that she could call when she felt up to it, couldn’t wait to spread rumours that were incorrect to everyone she knew and added Peter’s bits and pieces that he’d concocted in his own mind. Marla grabbed it all and ran with it. It was of delight to her “without prejudice” of course to do so.
Far be it from anyone to deduce what someone else is thinking or why. It’s not as though it’s even cared about but, the point is that Marla wouldn’t let it go. When neighbours noticed both Marla and Peter seemingly scraping their bodies against outdoor walls to avoid neighbours but, they didn’t know why it was happening and they called to ask what was the problem, Marla proceeded to send a rather lengthy letter filled with both incorrect deductions as well as having told everyone that she knew to the point where they too were acting like a pile of children. That included people she said that she hadn’t even told. Proof was that Marla couldn’t stand holding anything even if it was her own and Peter’s wrong deductions to herself. She indeed couldn’t wait to tell them as the neighbours knew that she would and as a piece of drama that she loves to create for herself.
When asked if Peter and Marla spoke to them, pre-dating this novel of a letter that was obviously both written and signed by Marla but had Peter’s name on it, Marla and Peter’s neighbours reply was simple, fast and adamantly said. “They sometimes speak and sometimes don’t bother. Just take care of yourselves and forget about them”. How wise those words were. They never did know the true reasons.
Fast forward to today’s time frame.
Marla and Peter continue their garbage and guess what? So do others that both Marla and Peter see. It’s not that anyone cares what this family does or doesn’t do. No one is interested in all reality. They are simply neighbours and anyone who has a brain of their own other than Marla doing the thinking for them all, would say to themselves, “that’s YOUR issue, not mine”. Not this group of people and it’s showing that they’ve allowed Marla and even Peter to do their thinking for them all. Marla feels herself to be powerful but, she’s really simply someone who is able to sway a bunch of people into what she wants them to believe. The truth is that she’s only swaying those people in her life and no one else gives a flying hoot what she does or what they believe or don’t. They are getting things out of her and honestly, she knows it too. The sad thing for Marla is that once she’s of little use to them all, she won’t be considered at all.
The last things that are to be said here are that Marla as smart as she believes that she is, missed the boat when she wrote to the neighbours that her sibling had “nearly died”. That had the neighbours wondering if she had even thought about the fact that the neighbours had lost a sibling to death? No, not Covid related. Had Marla even taken into account that her neighbours had not only lost a parent at the same age as her parent but, at much younger ages such as 54, 66, 72 and 53 years of age? Was there no thought whatsoever beyond herself? It appears not to be the case. Again, it should be added again, said “without prejudice” because the terms is a legal term which holds no water in her own words and personally. It wasn’t a document meant to be put into a court of law. To boot, during a time of a pandemic where no one hopes to get the virus going around, to tell a neighbour that they’re “dead wrong” is of course, laughable to say the least but, disgusting and says a lot about Marla’s and Peter’s characters.
So that said, it’s comical at the least for these neighbours to see and watch simply how far Marla’s and Peter’s incorrect assumptions had gone and Marla’s actions as well as those connected to her.
Mind you, from my little corner of life to anyone facing this type of behaviour, ignore it. It isn’t worthy of a second thought. It’s been proven over and over again by everyone who wants to use Marla’s and Peter’s brains to make 2 & 2 equal 5. Best of luck to them with their lives.
Are you ruminating too much during this Covid pandemic?
I don’t know about you but, I’ve found myself with far more to think about than I ever have. It’s not that there’s a lack of things that need doing but, it’s more that I’ve been thinking about things far more than I should, I suppose. What’s really bothering me is that I can do little about the situation of Covid nor, can I change much within my life because of this pandemic.
I don’t blame people for not wanting to work, work indoors, come inside people’s homes or such as I don’t want them to either. It’s beyond me that people are even contemplating school, sending their children, out at these stores where people have to work hour, upon hour. What’s really bothering me is that there’s so little that I can change on my own or even find nowadays. I’m in a depression, I think and I can’t get out of it no matter how many things I’ve tried to do for myself.
Things like a walk or a jog (yeah, like I can do that now after so many months of basically sitting around) can become “old hat”. It doesn’t matter how much a route is varied up, the point is that it’s becoming habitual. It’s no longer a thrill or even a must. It’s become part of a routine.
Washing hair daily or the thought of putting on some type of make-up has become a “what for” type of scenario. After all, “who is going to see me” is one question that stops me from even doing that much. Up until summer hit, I was barely putting on pants every day and just barely showering or brushing my teeth. Lovely scene in your head now, huh? The fact was the summer did hit and I was at the least, going outdoors more often even if it was to escape the a/c which I later turned down in order to not have to shiver when indoors too long.
It’s conceivable that anxiety and depression go hand in hand or that this pandemic has everyone somewhat anxious. I can see how that can be. What I long for is the day when the scientists tell us all that it’s gone or is well under control. Will I be with a wheelchair then? I say that with a half-smile but, meaning it as though it may be the case if I don’t move this wide load more now.
There’s Christmas to get through and Thanksgiving with no one around to get together with. There’s little use in putting on makeup to cover it up with a mask that will become plastered with makeup that no one will see. No one can tell us if even Halloween is still on. I don’t think that I’ll be buying any chocolate bars to give out this year. If I had my now adult who has estranged herself from her entire past, family, friends, uncles and cousins, I wouldn’t send her out either this year. Who knows though what next year will bring?
Still, when there were photos of jokes with people saying that they were taking a trip to their livingrooms for Easter, it got to me.
I suppose that mainstream media news sources sell airtime with the horrific details and negative news while we’re all clinging onto some type of hope for better days. While I was never one to go out much before, at the least, I could do so if I wanted to and when. Now? Not so much.
It’s not exactly wise to open up your eyes and look at Covid numbers or hear politicians in “campaign speeches” is it? That’s one thing that I should cut out doing. I needn’t hear the numbers every single day. No one should. That may be of help. I can’t interpret them anyway and they only seem to serve those who have to be traced anyway with lags in between the numbers anyway. What, for instance, we hear on a Friday, may have indeed occured a week or two ago? Then, we have add and subtract numbers to compensate for double entries and so much more that it makes one’s head spin with what’s real and what isn’t. What’s being manipulated, how, why or who is being tested and how that all works too. We don’t know and it’s not for us to decode the numbers anyway.
Add to this all the fact that no matter what I’ve tried online, it’s of little use because it’s a) summer, b) everyone is glued to the news or, c) people are working from home if they’re doing so and finally, d) I cannot compete with celebrities who have taken over the net with things. Why don’t they have separate areas or channels for them? Don’t they have fame enough already?
When I roll over to get up every day, I have to ask myself one question, “what am I getting up for”? I look at my dog’s little face and think, “he needs me and his life is going by. He doesn’t understand the concept of a pandemic and even were there to be none, while I might be freer to do things, his little life is as it is as well”. He gets me up every day just by looking at me and without doing so much as a whimper to be let out or fed. He’s just him.
That all said, vent away here. What are you facing? How are you coping? What are you doing to keep yourself up or are you down like me? Have your say!
We all knew that Covid was going to end the lives of a lot of people over the age of 60 and especially of those who were elderly or in nursing homes. What wasn’t thought of was the fact that a lot of the younger generations could not only get Covid but, who could spread it even if asymptomatically to those of more mature ages.
While people are shaking their heads to having grandchildren who are being kept from them because of Estrangement, one needs to methodically look at the situation as it is and why Grandparents may find to be thankful for not having Grandchildren as part of their lives.
As parents struggle with decisions as to how to deal with school issues, there is a lot to be taken into account for them, no doubt. Part of that is the potential spread of this virus to their teachers and other staff but, the other part is that parents aren’t exactly immune to getting it either. With that news, comes the idea that perhaps, if tested, not only will the teachers and staff members who have come in possible contact with the child will likely be placed under a quarantine order but, so will their parents and others who have come in contact with them. That can mean that entire classes of children and teachers are out of the classroom and perhaps, die or be put under quarantine but, it can also be that their parents will also have to be treated in the same manner.
What about estrangement and grandchildren though? How does it pertain to them?
Not only is it widely known by now that grandparents are of more mature ages with potential health issues or more chances of it but, even if healthy, they can become “spreaders” and entire groups of people that they’ve come in contact with, be quarantined.
If one has not lost their parents or more elderly relatives at a grandparent’s point in Life, they could end that person’s life as well.
Keeping in line with this idea, more grandparents than ever may be called upon to “babysit” these kids, pick them up or drop them off at various schools. This means risk to the grandparents and anyone that they are associated with. It only takes one person to cause an entire group of people to self-isolate themselves.
Not only that but, those who have any sort of immune system issues will certainly have to stop having their grandchildren and even estranged adult children over to see them while at home. It’s far too risky to attempt.
Summer is drawing to a close for most places in the Northern Hemisphere. Even if the Fall isn’t that bad weather wise or in states where it only goes down to the 50’s or 60’s during Winters, the issues are that a lot of children could be back in the school systems and frankly, if parents have decided that daycare is what they want or need for their children, there is little that any grandparent can do to change their minds especially, in the cases of estrangement.
While many people are using Zoom or What’s App or whatever one chooses to communicate with grandchildren, those who have been estranged from can count their lucky stars that they are not going to have to be the ones that get counted upon for babysitting purposes or online learning teaching reasons.
Some grandparents may be sitting back, reading this and saying that they don’t care. They simply want to hear from their now adult estranged children and their grandchildren. Take heart that if you weren’t estranged from, you’d likely be called upon to do some sort of babysitting at one point or another and that can put not only your health at risk but, those who surround you if you have anyone. Most people have at least one good friend or one person that they know who helps them even if they are disabled in some way or another. That cuts all of that off if there’s an outbreak within the schools or congregations of young children.
From my little corner of life to yours, remember that no one is immune to getting the virus. Those who have been tested as positive and who have also shown antibodies to it may or may not be able to get it again. The one thing to remember is that no one is invincible no matter what they think or do and therefore, there could be a second wave of it which may be worse than the first or other viruses or perhaps, it’s that there’s a self-isolation or quarantine that happens.
Consider yourselves LUCKY that you’re not amongst those who are having to take care of grandchildren at this time. Count your blessings and why.
I’ve had several incidents within the past weeks which have entailed me having to call police. They were mostly the same idea like fireworks that were being set off endlessly for weeks after firework days had officially ended but, doing so at 2 a.m. night after night. Not only that but, vehicles around my area were being broken into and things taken or damaged.
This often meant a barking dog or set of them, howling, whimpering, fear by them and so much more that no one got any sleep especially since dogs are so popular right now.
Last night, I had a few incidents happening at the same time and had to place yet another call where nothing was done about anything.
A loud party was taking place where not only was there no physical distancing involved but, the music had been going all day and all night with it now being well after midnight. Nothing was done or proposed to be done by police.
Car alarms were set off. Did anyone know whether or not it was the break-ins? No but, nothing was done by police nor, promised to be done.
Don’t get me wrong. I see that police have a plethora of crimes happening at any time of the day or night and mine was, well…less than what they were likely dealing with. However, to sarcastically tell a caller that they could “pull officers off of a shooting to attend to my concerns if I wanted” was less than called for to say the least. Not only that but, in the times that I’ve had to call in which I hate having to do in the first place, nothing was done or said could be done.
My response to the totally sarcastic remark by the officer was that he needn’t “pull” anyone from anything and that “I would deal with it on my own”.
What had me wondering what was thought about was the fact that I had said that I would deal with it on my own. How did this officer know that I wasn’t about to pull out a gun or something and take things into my own hands while playing the game of “The Wild West” where vigilante style, I wasn’t going to go and shoot up the place or person(s) breaking into vehicles? Answer: He didn’t and frankly, he didn’t care. There were NO calls back and no police to be had to help. I was met all of these times with only sarcasm and he did not know what race I was so, it’s not a Black or any other race issue or set of them.
By the time that I had arrived at the scene and car alarms were turned off, they had thankfully shut down the music and party goers were leaving the scene, no masks, no social distancing and well above the numbers permitted in “Social Bubbles”. This all led me to believe that anyone can do anything that they want and police won’t respond. I may as well have been a vigilante and done things according to my own wishes. What would they have done?
Is it any wonder then why things go un-punished and people are doing exactly as they please?
From now on, I will NOT be counting on police to take care of anything. I MAY be reaching for a weapon of some kind or another and doing the only thing that can be done besides complaining or wasting precious time on the phone. I will take matters into my own hands and heaven help those who are in the wrong or doing things wrongly. They’re not getting off freely again because police won’t respond to these types of calls. Oh, yeah, they may have other things to deal with but, it won’t be these people! Trust me.
So, Police while I have fought for you, I won’t be anymore. Defund the police if that’s what’s called for. I have NO clue why our taxes are paying their salaries anyway other than stabbings and shootings where they direct traffic more of the time than anything else.
Be well, don’t do wrong and beware of vigilantes. That’s what this world is coming to now, Covid-19 or not.
Almost everyone gets it. We’ve all got “Covid-19 fatigue”. Not many are feeling chipper and upbeat. Most people are tired out of this crud and being kept in or away from their usual lives by Covid. It’s tiresome for certain. Those who wouldn’t normally go out, can’t do so and it’s the not being able to do as they want, when they want that has them feeling down. I’m one of the ones who feels down to say the least. Stressed is another good word to add it as it’s affecting more people than anything else especially, with work, schools and more.
How many programs can we stream or watch on Netflix before we want to crawl out of our skins? How many drive-thru windows can we see and when even that looks like it’s a treat, we soon find out that it’s not. Even “friends” are starting to give up on the Zoom or What’s App shite now because it’s boring and we’ve all been there and done it hundreds of times already.
With all of this under our belts, anger and rage is and has been setting in. Most people’s tempers are on hairpin triggers nowadays and is there any wonder why? No!
What none of us can afford to do with this, no matter what our ages, is to be complacent about it. More countries in the world are seeing upticks in new numbers of cases because as numbers lowered and things were slowly allowed to be opened (some countries more than others), people went out whole hog and did whatever they wanted more or less.
There have been:
More cases of Covid because of it all
More killings, stabbings, shootings etc.
Protest after protest after protest with looting, burnings, fires, shouting, illegal activities and few, if any, physical distancing
Masks worn under noses and chins or to get into stores then pulled down again
People going up aisles marked as “down” and there’s no reading or language barriers in symbols such as arrows or footprint logos
Going to parties where there’s no social or physical distancing or masks worn properly at the least
Raves, dirty and crowded beaches, defecation all over lawns and sand or wherever they can find spots
Alcohol bottles found all over the place where parties have taken place illegally
So much more that it’s too lengthy to record here
While it was once noted that people under the ages of 18 or 20 couldn’t get the virus, there was little concern for who they’d take it home to. Now, the biggest group of people who are catching this rogue virus that is curtailing everything for everyone, comes with those between the ages of 20 and 39. Why? Because they refuse to follow protocols put in place no matter what conspiracy theories they have or whether or not they believe the numbers. Like a world leader has said, “it’ll all just blow away”. No, it won’t!
Myself, I’ve seen a lot of people who have ignored the rules and it’s common to see people gathering without restrictions to “protest” anything and everything that they can do right now. It’s not that there haven’t been other times with eerily similar incidents where they could have protested but, it’s because they’re bored and have nothing to do so, out they go to yell, scream and pump signs, burn, loot and whatever else they wish to do.
Parties are another thing. There are those who will have parties unregulated because they want to. Covid-19 be damned. They aren’t going to get it especially once they have a few alcoholic drinks or weed under their belts. They’re “invincible”!
No they are not and the stats are showing that much.
Hey, young people, while you may think or feel that your life is going by and you should have the right to do whatever it is that you want, think about people who are terminally ill and their days are numbered. How about the elderly who are in either their own home or nursing homes. Does it make any sense to you that those who have a limited amount of time on this planet should have to do so with restrictions? Their time on this planet is limited. Do. you truly want to take that away from them as well because you wanted to protest or go to a party? Really?! If you wouldn’t pick up a gun under normal circumstances and shoot someone in the head on purpose, what makes you think that you’re not playing Russian Roulette with this virus and potentially killing off others? It’s akin to picking up a gun and shooting at people randomly. Things aren’t as normal. If you say that you’re smart, act it!
To those of all ages who are risking your lives saying, “yeah, they were destined to die anyway,” let me ask you one thing. If you give yourselves rights, do you not believe that you’re taking away the rights of others? Does it matter to you that you may be killing off people because of your insensitive moves right now or during Covid-19 times? Are your parties or protests that important to you? If so, then you all need to be put onto deserted islands where you can party by night and protest by day, only infecting one another.
From my little corner of life to yours, working is bad enough if done outside of your home but, to think that you are not affecting others and the numbers, you’d be wrong. You are and you are the reason why numbers are going up no matter what your thinking is on this topic or on conspiracy theories.
To the rest, following the rules, while Covid Fatigue is and has been setting in, hang in there, keep the rules, think twice about who else you’re putting in danger, instead of yourselves. We are ALL tired of this crap now but, we know that the alternatives are bad. Stay the course and we’ll all be out of it faster than we know.
By the way, if you’re one of the ones who want to do it for “Herd Health”…think again! However, be my guest. Go ahead and bring up those numbers higher. You’ll be in lock-down again with the rest of those who are afraid, bored and living what’s left of Life. It’s ok. Honestly, I can’t wait for Winter to set in. It’s less “fun” to be out in the streets, protesting during bitter temps.
When someone else blames you for their issues within their lives or themselves, it likely isn’t about you or anything that you’ve done. It’s out of your control. That’s likely because it has more to do with them and their choices or lack of them in Life.
Yes, they can blame you or anyone else for that matter. They can dream up things, attempt to lie to themselves or others and perhaps, be convincing about it all but, the truth is that they have to face themselves, sooner or later. Others don’t care or at the least, unless they are party to their choices, they truly won’t give a darn for much time anyway. Worse than that, people who do this type of thing or those traits aren’t going to go away simply because they’ve blamed them (whatever they may be) on you. This is especially true if you have no part in their lives because that’s the way that they wanted it and you have abided by their wishes. Sooner or later, they will only have themselves to deal with if you aren’t party to anything. Anything that goes wrong in their lives is therefore, someone else’s faults if that’s what they are choosing to do. Remember or keep in mind that no matter what you feel or don’t feel, how badly you may feel for them or how angry you may be, it’s their issues, their wishes and if they have walked out of your life and you haven’t beaten them or neglected them, they will have to deal with the outcome internally in one way or another. Whether it’s outright or inwardly, they are the ones who have made those choices whether they tell you or others that they had to do it because you are (fill in the blanks).
By now, you’ve likely recognized that I’m mainly talking about estrangement here and the issues that go along with it all. Unless you were a truly “evil” person who loves the idea of controlling others or making them bow down to you, in spite of what they want to tell each other, others or their spouses, siblings and family or friends, there is no reason for them to walk off as they have done.
If there was true abuse and I mean that they have stories that you know to be true of beatings, mentally and emotionally or you were neglectful in big ways, they are going to meet with many others who are going to “abuse them” as they would try to say that they were. What about their bosses, spouses, friends or others in their lives, including perhaps, children of theirs? Are they going to say that everyone is “evil” and has abused them too? Who are they to be so downtrodden or are they the “abuser”? Think about those things. In the meanwhile, there are things that we can keep in mind as parents.
When your adult child estranged it’s rarely over you or anything that they claim that you’ve done and it’s never usually about the final “blow-up”.
Adults who estrange themselves, do so because they want you or others to do something for them even if that’s to change yourself.
They rarely ever want what they proclaim to want you to do or be. Even if you were to be able to be who they say that they want, that idea will change over and over and over again in most cases. It’s like playing a game of “Whack-a-mole” at a fair. You can’t win. They don’t want you to.
If you want them back again, they have to want it too. Give up trying to win them back. I know this is contrary to what’s been said by others who are out to sell you books, cd’s, sessions or something. Have you ever noticed the number of “doctors” who are on YouTube for instance? Haven’t you wondered why a so-called “successful” doctor would want the pittance that YouTube/Google pays them to do these videos? What about how “busy” they should be if they’re that good a “doctor”? I’m sure that many of you have done your homework to find doctors galore with “merch” to sell online or other payable accounts somewhere. That’s because many of them aren’t doing so well and that’s because they are out to sell to the marketing age groups of 18 to 49 years of age. They aren’t out to help truly. They’ve got it in mind to sell, sell, sell.
Once our adults reach adulthood, as much as we, as parents, want to save them from hurt or the world, we can’t do it. Like everyone else, they are going to have to face Life and all that’s part of it. That means, bills, raising children, nights up with lost sleep and everything that you’ve had to go through to some extent or another. They are not about to get away without it all unless they are so into themselves or “narcissistic” as they’d call parents that they don’t even know. If they’re demanding with others in their lives, they are going to find Life a bit more than difficult once you’ve laid off of them. Try it and see.
If you’ve already stopped chasing them, begging them or whatever, at some point, though we, as parents may feel at first as though we’re losing out on something, they are the biggest losers and will have to figure it out for themselves. They will. One way or another, they will and we don’t have to leave this planet for them to do it.
Yes, it’s a shame for those of us who have uttered, “but, I’m alone”. No one says that it’s easy. We can cry and mourn their losses and be justified in doing so but, remember that their Lives aren’t as peachy as what they portray it to be either. It doesn’t matter that you’ve potentially seen or heard that they’re doing well. They can show it any way that they want but, it’s only a snapshot of what they face within themselves when no one is around.
Throwing a “funeral” or “memorial” of sorts for them is fitting. Why? It’s because they usually aren’t ever coming back into your life as they were. Therefore, it’s only realistic for anyone who wants to do so to throw a funeral or memorial for the adult that you knew. Time doesn’t go backwards and we, as parents, can’t get back the same person who left us. Even if that’s only been a few months or weeks, we will never be the same people, feel the same about them or they can’t be the same person who walked out that door. Those adults are gone.
If you have Grandchildren who you’ve been kept from seeing, remember that they will one day, ask about you. It may for some, be sooner rather than later but, a lot of estranged adults will keep the realities behind it all away from their offspring. It’s not going to sound good to that child especially if they have known about you or known you, yourself. I know one person who had estranged herself from her father, keeping her children from him with lies about him. The children were not only shocked to find out that they did have a grand alive but, they were mad at their mother for keeping them from him and hidden.
Also remember that adults who both estrange themselves from their parents and even families or friends or all 3 in my case, are teaching both themselves as well as their possible children (if there are any), how to treat other people. It’s an “I don’t like it so, I had to get out of it” type of thing. How many times can they not like something happening and they walk away? If they can work things out with that person, why didn’t they try with you? They are teaching their own children to do the same. Walk away whenever something isn’t liked by them and that could mean that their own children will walk away from them. Estranged adults have taught their children to do so no matter what their excuses sound like or are.
What this is all really saying is that you, as the parent(s) don’t have to punish them or cry or whatever it is that you’re doing to yourself. They aren’t doing this to us anymore. They’ve done it to themselves and are continuing to do so.
From my little corner of life to yours, there are going to be good days and bad days. We’ve ALL had far too much time to think with this pandemic but, that doesn’t mean that they are or have been right. If you know that you haven’t done anything “evil” to them, remember that you weren’t a perfect person or parent. None of us were and reality says that neither are they or will they be.
Be well, stay well, stay safe…we WILL get through this!
If you’re a Dirty Dancing (the movie) fan, as many of us are, you’ve likely already heard the news. Dirty Dancing: The Sequel is coming with Jennifer Grey who played “Frances “Baby” Houseman in the original, both starring in and executive producing the film.
Some 33 years after the movie was first released, Grey along with Lionsgate, has decided to bring it back to the big screen.
How they will write around Patrick Swayze (Johnny Castle)’s death is still up in the air for viewers and fans. However, that’s the one good piece of news that I’ve heard besides there being a return of Gilmore Girls for 4 more episodes. It never went beyond that.
Fans have long awaited some form of Grey being in a Sequel to Dirty Dancing and here it comes. Get ready. It’s believed that it will be released in the summer of 2021 but, no one is sure yet to the best of my knowledge.
It was sad enough that Swayze died in 2009 due to Pancreatic Cancer but, to have Grey star in the sequel is enough to make Swayze proud.
I once wrote to Swayze while he was healthy and asked him if he’d consider a sequel to the movie with Jennifer Grey. His answer was simple. “No”. That was it. No fanfare, no further explanation. It was simply a “no”.
Grey, actor Joel Grey’s daughter, Swayze’s acting partner in North & South as well as Dirty Dancing and a contestant in Dancing With The Stars, has certainly come a long way in 33 years or more.
Now, 60 years of age, Grey doesn’t look that by far. Mind you, plastic surgery hasn’t hurt her younger look any but, it certainly has changed how she looks.
It’s been assured to fans that the “made for tv movie ending” with Brezlin and co-star, won’t be the ending that this one has and will leave fans more satisfied with the ending. Mind you, having had a “B” movie with a small budget being one of the best loved movies of the 80’s with a triple digit millions of dollars return isn’t bad to hope for either and Grey knows what that feels like. So does Lionsgate.
No matter what, being a fan of the movie for over 3 decades hasn’t hurt the fact that I am going to be front and centre when it does come out. I’m sure many others will be as well. I’ll find a way, Covid or no Covid!
Best of wishes for staying well and just a little gift for fans,